You know you're really Irish when...

[Gossipyfishwife]

...you tell the barman to put the change in the poor box.

The use of “Cat” to describe anything bad.

“Ah no, don’t do that. That’d be Cat altogether.”

If something is ‘Cat Malogen’ then it’s really, really bad.

Eg: “That weather at the weekend was Cat Malogen wasn’t it?”

Mahogany - to describe a sun tan. Or the shortened version "Mahoggers"

When spending a day in the bog has nothing to do with an upset stomach

My granny was always 'giving out' to me, but if we were rude back, we were accused of 'rare-ing (sp?) up' on her.

Used to nick (grim) Majors or Carrols fags out of my aunties handbag on teenage summer hols to Ireland.

Barrys Tea is awful

But cadburys chocolate tastes different and nicer in Ireland than it does in England.

If my granddad stopped for a pint on his walk it was said that he had "met an angel"

Don't know if this was just my family though.

Oh and nobody was ever known or called by their actual name.

"You weren't naughty, you were 'bold'."

Oh yes. I was told that many a time by my great-gran.

Come to think of it, my Mum wasn't even baptised with the name her parents had chosen. Catholics didn't hang around in those days so the grandparents would get the child baptised asap. My Mum's name was considered too fancy by MIL so she came back as something similar but plainer and missing the beautiful middle name.

Can you imagine the AIBU?

You can double park anywhere as long as you leave your hazards on

And you have a full driving licence but never passed a test

If you're over the age of 35 you definitely have uncles called Seán and Paddy and an aunt called Mary. You may have more than one of each.

Uncle Andy from Give My Head Peace reminds you of someone

Oh yes!

"God love her"

"Ach, you're a wee pet, so you are...."

It's funny reading these actually, because going back to Ireland now is quite a different experience to what it used to be, it's much more like England now! The nearest big town is so different now, it has a massive tescos and boots and next, it didn't have any of those when I was a kid. And even in the nearest 'smaller' town now there is a big old tesco. Before everything was from supervalu or dunnes and it was 'different'.

And the fact that less people use a range now so they don't burn turf as much so you don't always walk into a house and smell that really distinctive smell.

All my dad's brothers came to England bar one (stayed at home to look after the farm!) to do manual jobs and his sisters became nurses. Now pretty much all my cousins in Ireland go to uni and get 'normal' jobs.

I guess it's weird as well because the house I 'grew up in' (in the holidays!) in Ireland is now totally empty since my grandparents died - my uncle hasn't bothered to keep it nice or anything, so I suppose that's kind of a loss of childhood memories.

Oh well, things change I guess don't they!

... when you fondly remember "Garda Patrol" simply because the presenter was always a Garda with a strong rural accent [ie a mucksavage or culchie] describing in great indignation the theft of a lawnmower. "Stolen from the Monesterevin area somewhere around midnight on 12/12/1985. Were you around this area, did you see anyone driving a lawnmower of this description .. if so, please contact the gardai now. This Lawnmower was of particular value to the owner" Cut to photo of lawnmower and the phone number of the local station!!

Elderly relatives didn't have hobbies, they went to mass twice a day and did the stations of the cross in between services.

'All my dad's brothers came to England bar one (stayed at home to look after the farm!) to do manual jobs and his sisters became nurses. Now pretty much all my cousins in Ireland go to uni and get 'normal' jobs.'

Progress!

Ha ha, squoosh I know that sounds so patronising! I didn't mean it to quite come across like that!

On the subject of shops I always thought Shaw's had the best slogan of all.....'Shaw's, almost nationwide'.

No I know what you mean, when you only revisit a place once in a while the changes are all the more obvious.

Just thought of another thing - the death notices on the local radio 'the death has occurred of.......' And then all the details of the funeral arrangements. That's another one my dh can't quite get his head round!

We never had a Shaw's in our neck of the woods!

They've been 'almost nationwide' since the 90's, they might want to get a move on!

The death announcements on the radio!

My Dad would mow you down on his way to the radio to hear the announcements, just in case someone he knew had died.

Anyone remember "Mart and Market" A 15 min show all about the price of beef?

The guy who presented was completely bald and known as "Cowjack"

If your of the first generation brought up over here who's parents came over in the 50s/60s then you have to read the book Me and Mine by Anna Mangan. Its like someone has told the story of your childhood.
The death notices reminded me of the time we were in Ireland and blocked in a car park because of a funeral service. My brother in law went to ask if they could move a car so we could get out. After waiting a while the next thing we saw was him coming up the road carrying the coffin. Only in Ireland!

Oh and "Quicksilver" with Bunny Carr.

"Are you playing for the tuppences John?"

Jaysus!

Squoosh your right all the brothers and sisters would make their way over except one always stayed. Apparently they had to have the 3s Shoes, Suitcase and a suit. It was then sent back for the next brother to use.