Facebook - what do YOU do when someone you're trying to avoid tracks you down?

[MrsThierryHenry]

DH lived in Italy a long, long time ago. DH got to know a British guy there who it turned out was very good friends with very good friends of DH's in the UK. To cut a long story short it soon became apparent that this chappy was completely self-absorbed and therefore incredibly tedious to be with. However, DH ended up seeing him fairly regularly due to their joint friends travelling to Italy periodically. I've also met this man on several occasions, again through joint friends.

Now DH has been back in the UK for a number of years and Self-Absorbed Man is still in Italy (but has family here so may one day come back!), and there's been no contact between us. All of the sudden, out of the blue, last month he got in touch with both of us via Facebook. We've been ignoring his friend request for several weeks, but every time I open facebook I see his photo and his ignored request, and yes, I feel guilty for not responding to him. DH is still in touch with their joint friends but would like to cut off contact with SA Man. (This is beginning to sound like a teenaged problem page!)

I'm interested to know how MNers would handle this - the more views the merrier!

you could continue to ignore.
as he's not your friend he won't be able to see whether you use facebook frequently or whether you set up the account and forgot about it

yes, that sounds like good idea but if it's making you feel guilty, you could just reject the friend request and you won't see it each time you log onto fb! He won't receive a note saying you've rejected it or anything. Then if you ever come across him again, IF he mentions it, just claim you never received the request - fb has enough glitches that it sounds totally plausible.

ignore if hes that bad and if questioned ever just say fb broke and you never gor request.

evil moi?

i block in advance

and then ignore requests that I hadn't anticipated, and then block.

yes, you actually have to click ignore request to make his face go away.

i deleted a 'friend' from my facebook recently because she didn't return my RL phonecalls. very therapeutic.
i love a good facebook cull.

Ban them. I have just done that to a "person".

I didn't know that if you refuse the other person doesn't find out about it. If that's the case, then definitely refuse it. And if he ever mentions it claim total bafflement and ignorance.

or just tell him that you only set up the account to exchange family photos with your sister or somebody and that you don't really 'do' facebook.

how do you get rid of people on your friends list?

just delete them.
they disappear and they are none the wiser either.

if only RL was so simple eh?

accept - then delete

they kow you have accepted them but dont know if you have deleted them

but where is delete button.

and they wont get a message saying 'you do my head in'?

This is the reason I am not on facebook. There are so many out there I would not like to be contacted by.

My DP is on facebook and personally I find it a bit wierd. I've looked at it while he has been on and read things like "Jane is glad her dishwasher is mended again" "Paul is driving all day today" "Rita has sent you a sex on the beach cocktail" (WTF) Gosh it's riveting stuff.

weird

cheesesarnie is sitting down

Ooh, Hellmouth, I like the sound of that one! But I'd rather not overcomplicate things - he's the sort of person who'd read 101 things into the fact that I'm 'not responding to his messages' and it would all get messy blahblahblah. I just can't be bothered to get involved with him in any way.

I didn't know that you can't see when someone's rejected you on FB, I'll do that right away and then forget he ever existed. Until he comes back into the country!!!

Thanks loads for your tips, MNers!

Whereas Mumsnet, of course, has a consistently high intellectual content...

Daphne - you're absolutely right! It is weird!

so if you delete someone from your friends list doesn't it show on the news feed as "x and y are no longer friends"

Someone I met at a party the other week sent a FB request which I accepted. I have since got fed up with his inane stupid mug keep appearing on my news feed with 'ok yah, have just been to xx ultra trendy party and I have become friends with another 30 people since yesterday and haven't I got an awful lot of women admirers...etc' (he has a partner and young baby which makes it all the more irritating) His total friends amount to about 1300 . That's now one less as I deleted the dick wipe...

1300 . One of my contacts has over 400 friends, and when he accepted my friend request I wrote on his wall "am assuming you remember me as you've accepted my friend request, although given how many "friends" you have could it just be that you accept random requests from just anyone?"

are you sure it doesn't show if friends are deleted though? surely if you delete someone they'll no longer have access to your profile etc and that would show?

i did it.release the bagge.

im not usually nasty-in pain and feeling mean.