My feed

to access all these features

Geeky stuff

Friend out of love with piano

14 replies

AnyaMarx · 29/05/2023 22:20

I have a friend who has played piano for 30 years and is classically trained to concert pianist level - passed level 8 exams years ago .

He is amazing. I used to wstch in awe honestly he's just the most gifted pianist .

He's going through some pretty major emotional upheaval and he says he will never play again . He's fallen out with it and says his breaking won't connect to his fingers anymore .

This makes me truly sad . He doesn't see his talent as anything special because he's played for 30 years and when I say it's sad or that he's wasting an amazing talent he says "well you di t play so you wouldn't get it "

It actually makes my heart hurt . It's sunny cos looking at him you'd never in a gazillion years know he could play to the level he can - he's quite an emotional person and he just says he is t feeling it anymore and will probably never play again and for whatever reason this makes me so incredibly sad. He's fine with it it's me !

I am trying not to badger him over it but it's bloody difficult to leave it ....his playing is truly amazing and I can't get my head round why if you had such an amazing affinity with an instrument why you'd say that's that ....never playing again . I understand this is something emotional for him and obviously psychological- but I just find it so deeply sad .

Am I being stupid !? Obviously it's his talent and his choice if he decides to chop his
Piano up for firewood (he's threatened this !) he wouldn't do that - it's worth a lot of money . I'm sure he'd sell it . As someone who would have deeply loved to learn to play and who had a baby grand as a child - for me this is a travesty ! I need to stop
Badgering him before I get very annoying.
I sort of get it to a point because I used to sing (well!) and then I lost it and never did it again
Has anyone musical gone through this ?
Any advice ? I can't get over the daft it's a crying shame if he never plays again .

OP posts:
FortofPud · 29/05/2023 22:26

What's the story of how he ended up learning? A few people I know were hounded to learn and progress to the point it sucked the person joy out of it for them - the instrument ends up bound up in a trauma for them. Anecdotal experience tells me it tends to be the ultra amazing players this happens to, which fits your friend. Maybe after a long break he'll be able to rediscover his talent in a new way, but if he needs to think it'll be forever then I really wouldn't pester him.

AnyaMarx · 29/05/2023 22:31

He learned through choice in his 20s - never forced .

This is why it's paining me

OP posts:
DoAWheelie · 21/06/2023 00:52

The more you pester him about it more he'll attach negative feelings to not playing. This will make him much less likely to ever want to take it up again.

He might change his mind in the future but for now leave it alone and let him work through his feeling.

007DoubleOSeven · 21/06/2023 00:59

Emotionally and psychologically testing times do affect creativity, quite severely. You need to respect his position and step back - it really is none of your business. Yes, it's sad, but his wellbeing comes first - not his talent.

With time, he may rediscover his love of playing or - as a pp said - take it in a new direction. Truly creative people rarely give up creativity for ever. It doesn't matter if he takes years away from it, he plays for himself not anyone else and you need to support him right now.

AnyaMarx · 21/06/2023 00:59

I'm definitely leaving him alone since he sent me a dick pic and asked for
Some fun cos his wife doesn't excite him .

He's a prick !

OP posts:
RocketIceLollie · 21/06/2023 01:02

Oooh this one turned around abruptly. Defo keep a wide berth from him.

britneyisfree · 21/06/2023 01:05

Didn't expect that.

LookUpTonight · 21/06/2023 01:05

😵 Well, that took a turn.

KatieYoYo · 21/06/2023 01:07

Whoahhhh and you're focusing on the emotional piano playing when you got a dick in your inbox

AnyaMarx · 21/06/2023 01:09

Yeah I was being a friend . He wasn't !
Blocked !!!!

OP posts:
Couchpotato3 · 21/06/2023 02:49

I've known one or two people who were extremely accomplished (in some cases professional) musicians who just packed up one day and turned their backs on their instrument. It's definitely a 'thing'.
I suspect they are perfectionist by nature and when they sense that their physical capabilities are starting to decline, they decide to stop playing, rather than play at anything less than their best. Other people might not notice anything amiss, but they are aware of very small changes in their playing, which they find intolerable. I would imagine anyone else encouraging them to continue at this point would probably simply make them dig their heels in further.

AnyaMarx · 21/06/2023 02:58

I don't actually care anymore since he ent me a dick pic asking if I'd ike. Bit of fun because his wife doesnt sexually excite him and telling me I'm so
Sexy he wants me !

He got blocked .

Do I give a flying fuck if he plays piano again !?

Noooo .

OP posts:
AnyaMarx · 21/06/2023 02:59

Try reading the thread it's not that long !

OP posts:
AnyaMarx · 21/06/2023 03:00

I went off him rather fast sadly . I really liked him and we had been friends for years!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.