Help! Please!

[BobISMyUncle]

My son is getting married in two weeks, and I'd like a witty message to write in their card. I can only think of, "Forecast: Warm and close tonight, perhaps a little son later".
I so obviously need some help here! Please!

I hope this isn't true.

Would you have liked your parents to be writing messages to you about having unprotected sex on your wedding night?

Perhaps that's why the op is asking for help and hasn't written the only thing they can think of @CentBoppers

Rubbish at this sort of thing I'm afraid op, I wouldn't get too hung up in writing something witty if it's not coming easily.

Gosh.
@Centboppers, I didn't expect, or ask, for that reaction. It's not up to me, if they have protected or unprotected sex. My son will be 40 next year. My new daughter will be 38. I suspect that they have the unprotected sex thing sorted by now. I thank you, however, for your helpful insight.

Sorry, I wasn't meaning to be unpleasant, it actualy made me smile - I just thought it was a rather odd thing to write to your child on their wedding day.

I get the weather puns but it reads to me like "I hope your wedding night is fun and results in a baby". I am not totally devoid of a sense of humour I suggested to my daughter that she have U2s "still haven't found what I'm looking for" as her first dance at her wedding. (My son in law is lovely and they are very happy)

Apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick and sorry for not being able to come up with a suitable alternative.

I hope that you enjoy the wedding.

@CentBoppers thank you, I appreciate your thinking. I just wanted another perspective, something more original, perhaps? I live on my own, and have been in lockdown, for so long, as have all of us. And now, suddenly (and not suddenly at the same time) I'm going to a wedding! I just wanted something original, ish, to say, to welcome my new daughter. I have no one here to rub off my sharp corners.

I think we all have a few sharp corners

I hope you can find something appropriate.

Just a thought - it might be worth asking MN to move your thread to a more appropriate topic than "geeky stuff"

Might prompt a few more replies.

I went to google and asked it, try theses:
One
Two.
Some are not funny, some are but have a look.

Hope this helps

I know you want something warm and witty, but I'd have been mortified if my MIL had made reference to sex in our wedding card, especially if I also felt like they were hinting for a grandchild! 😬

I loved all the cards we were given, most just had love and best wishes for the future.

Aww - congrats on the wedding! But no, please don’t put oblique references to sex on your son’s card.

Maybe this isn’t a time for humour, but a time for a warm and heartfelt message instead? Perhaps that’s why the jokes just aren’t flowing.

What would you say if you were playing it straight?

Unless you don’t like your future daughter in law, I’d stay away from warm and witty and just write what you are feeling. Both our mums wrote something along the lines of how much they loved us both and were so happy for us, they wished us the very best for our future.

Oh gosh, no.

Maybe just a nice heartfelt message. It'll be remembered for the right reasons. Not the wrong one.

Yikes OP! Noooo...

"Forecast: Warm and close tonight, perhaps a little son later"

1. Don't make reference to sex.

Creepy.

1. Don't mention getting pregnant.

You don't know whether it is their plan.

1. Especially don't mention getting pregnant with a 'son'.

Very victorian and makes me think of 'son and heir'.

Slightly relieved to find that it's not just me

1. Drink gin
2. Get pencil and paper, NOT your card
3. Write what you feel down about their future as a couple and family as if you're talking to them
4. Reassess tomorrow morning without gin
5. Write in card with ink!

Seriously, you like your DIL : this is easy! Imagine if you thought she was the spawn of Satan and your DS was going down into the pits of hell for all eternity.

Genuine feelings will make it the kind of card that gets put into the "special cards" file.

Or maybe I'm weird.

Agree with all the pp saying to just do a heartfelt message and especially solid advice from @ThatOtherPoster, there's probably a good reason why the jokes aren't coming.

Gosh!
@widowerbutok, thank you!!
@CentBoppers, a dodgy start, but thank you,. I'm new to Mumsnet, after a physical assault. I don't know what to do it undr. Under.

Thank you, all of you kind people, for helping me. I needed truth, not Mum! get away from that!
A bash on the head dos that.
Thank yo. xx