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Original poster

Facebook - help!

17 replies

anonymousbird · 07/11/2011 20:44

I am completely new to facebook. I only want to sign up to have a small number of "friends" ie. those I don't see much of - friends overseas etc. I don't want my profile to be public. I think I've set it up this way, however my vile sister has spotted that I have a profile within 12 hours of me setting it up (how?!) and I am panicking that she can see everything I put on there. I have NOT and will not accept her as a friend.

How can I view my public profile, ie. the one with pretty much nothing on it, just so I can be sure she cannot pry into my life?

OP posts:
GuidoFawkestooearlymustdache · 07/11/2011 20:45

PM someone (me?) your name and i'll tell you what i can see?

said · 07/11/2011 20:48

Click on your name(top right corner) > Click View as > In blurb at top there's a blue link saying "public" - Click this to see

MindtheGappp · 07/11/2011 20:49

If your sister is not your FB friend, she doesn't need to see any of your content. You can keep your profile private and limit who sees your postings.

If your sister has a record of your email address on her computer, she may have a link to add you as a friend. You can prevent this from happening in your privacy settings.

Original poster
anonymousbird · 09/11/2011 13:27

OK, I've done the "View as" and public thing and I can only see my name and my headline photo. I cannot view my list of friends or anything else (which is how I want it).

MindtheGappp - what is that privacy setting? I've got it so people have to be my friend to view (as above) is there anything else i can do to block her even trying again? I'll doing anything to keep her away.

However, when I click on the names of people I am not yet friends with, I can see their whole list of friends down the left hand side, but not their main details/photos etc (other than their name and main photo). The message in the middle still reads " .... only shares some information with everyone. If you know XXXX, add her as a friend or send her a message." but i can see all her friends plus their photos. I don't even want my sister to see my friends or their photos at all.

Can't believe the sneaky cow managed to track me down so quickly. She must have been doing her search daily since forever waiting for me to sign up and now I have, she's closing in. I knew this would happen. It was one of the reasons i held off signing up but I though lots of time has past since the early "surge" of facebook, I can just quietly join and have a small number of select friends without her poking her nose in and GUESS WHAT SHE IS F**KING THERE!!!!!!

OP posts:
babyocho · 09/11/2011 13:34

you can block her www.facebook.com/settings/?tab=privacy.
or you can add her as a friend and set her to not see anything that you post

said · 09/11/2011 16:03

Do you and your sister share any friends? She may have seen a "anonymous is now friends with mutual friend" message? You can set it so your friends list doesn't show. I think some leave it there so they can be identifiable a bit.

Original poster
anonymousbird · 09/11/2011 16:38

No, we have no mutual friends. my list is short and I know none of them know her. I just know she has been stalking and waiting... probably runs the "find friends" search every week or something. She is a bit obsessive and unbelievably nosy so it's precisely the kind of thing she would do!

I've figured how to have everything only visible to friends or in one or two cases, friends of friends. Nothing visible to the public, so i thank you all for your guidance!!!

OP posts:
Wormshuffler · 09/11/2011 16:55

What babych said, if you block her she shouldnt be able to see you even exist on facebook.

Original poster
anonymousbird · 09/11/2011 17:40

That's my next step, so if I block her does she know I've done that, or does it just come up blank?

This is good stuff. Just what I need.

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Wormshuffler · 09/11/2011 18:19

She just wouldnt be able to see you if she searched for you. I think the only time she may see you would be if you commented on something on a mutual friends wall. She would see your name but not be able to click on it. It would be grey and not clickable.

Original poster
anonymousbird · 09/11/2011 18:35

She has done the same back - she is not searchable. I can't find her to block her! There aren't very many entries with her name and she is just not there. And I don't know her email address, as obviously she sent the original friend request through facebook and there is no link to her page or mention of her email address!!!

Crafty cow as it is a way of trying to force me to be her friend on FB!!! What pisses me off is that I know she has photos of my family on her page, but without being her friend I will never know which ones and what she is saying (sadly). I know she is "using" my children as a means of making her seem normal to other people.

And it means I cannot be friends with my mum as she will then have a closer link to my stuff...

Oh well, nothing I could have done to stop her putting things on her own page, but I can damned well stop her getting to anything I choose to put on!

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
Wormshuffler · 09/11/2011 19:24

Thats a bugger.............. she sounds lovely Hmm do you mean she has photos of your kids?, if so I would be tempted to report her and get them removed, if that is even possible............

Original poster
anonymousbird · 09/11/2011 19:49

She has photos of my children. I don't let her take any on the very rare occasion we are together and I never ever leave her alone with them, not even for 30 seconds to go to the loo so she has no chance to take them.

She bullies my poor mum who gives them to her and then she will pass them off as her own or make up the fact that she spent X number of time with them doing all the things in the photos (when in reality she is nowhere near) like I say, to make her look "normal" (she has no family of her own other than my mum and dad) BUT until i see her FB page, I cannot know for sure how much of this is on there so reporting might massively backfire on me. As you say, if that is even possible. I don't see how she can be forced to remove, she didn't "steal" the photos, she merely conned my mum into giving them to her and that is never going to stand up with anyone!

She is a delight, 'tis true.

At least I now know she cannot view anything on my page or anything I do in relation to my FB friends.

OP posts:
LadySybil · 09/11/2011 22:23

if she took the photos, then they are her property. unless they are inapporpriate, you dont have the right to make her delete them, give them up etc.
if you used your own name then its not too difficult to find you on fb. i think you are overthinking this a bit. just set your privacy to friends only, and not friends of friends. that way, unlessx she is physically looking over your friends hsoulder, or is good at hacking, then she wont be able to see what you are up to.
also, dont click like on random peoples public content, and dont add lots of fb related apps to your phone. particularly th emessaging one. you should b e fine.

Original poster
anonymousbird · 10/11/2011 09:08

Sybil - they aren't her photos, as I said she bullies my mum for them, but yes I completely agree i haven't a leg to stand on to get her to pull them down, I simply want a chance to see how she is using them to either confirm my fears or possibly (unlikely) get some relief that it's not as bad as I think.... I realise I am probably overthinking but she has done stuff before to enter our lives by stealth so I just really really wary of anything she does as she is seriously warped and conniving.

And I can't ask my mum to help me check it all out as she is under my sister's thumb and will immediately blab.

I've done all the privacy settings things and have deliberately kept a small circle of "friends" etc... so that it can't end up with her by mistake.

OP posts:
LadySybil · 10/11/2011 09:42

if you want to know what she is up to on fb, then you will have to become a friend of hers there. Make another profile, get some people to add you as a friend, so you dont look fake, then be friends with her, and voila, you shall know what she has shared
but beware. In doing this, you are acting the same as her. getting in by stealth. will your own consicence let you do this? if so, go for ti. otherwise, just let her leave. she's living in your head rent free, and taking liberties with your time and emotions.

Original poster
anonymousbird · 10/11/2011 10:12

Sybil - absolutely I refuse to lower myself to her level of sneaking and spying, so I just have to live with it and maybe one day I'll happen across it, or I'll find out by other means. Who knows. But at least all the privacy stuff that every one has pointed me to has given me the peace of mind that although i don't know what she has put up, she can't get IN to anything future I say or do on FB... And I now really control what I say and give to my mum because anything that goes to her (very little now sadly) automatically goes straight out to my sister despite my repeated requests for Mum not to. Mum is more scared of defying her than she is willing to respect my wishes which is a shame, but such it goes.

Thanks for your help.

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