If iTunes were that shocking an experience on Windows then iPhones wouldn't be as popular as they are...
By all means give Apple a sound kicking when they do produce a pile of rubbish, and personally I'll put Safari on Windows under that category it's awful, but iTunes is the front end to the whole Apple experience for a lot of Windows people. It's good sense for Apple to make it at least semi-decent....
"It will also try to associate pretty much any and all media file types with itself which can cause big problems."
This is an option, it won't do this if you tell it not to and it's pretty clear about it.
"Then when you have iTunes actually installed it will try to copy all your existing stored music files into its own format."
It will only do this if you tell it to after the install, and even then the default settings are to leave the music where it is and to not copy it again.
if you want a slim iTunes install then just do this...
- Download the installer from Apple and run it.
- On Installation Options uncheck "Use Itunes as the default player for audio files" (unless you do want all music to play through it) and "Automatically Update".
- Let it install and then open it, agree to the license.
And that's it really...
I really wouldn't worry about the restore business, I've installed and uninstalled iTunes a number of times and never had problems.