This is going to sound rather extreme..........but pampas grass (large "wild" one) and a hedge trimmer............(farly urgent)

[FAQinglovely]

what will happen to the pampas grass in my front garden if I cut it all back with a hedge trimmer?

It's REALLY wild - loads and LOADS of dead leaves mixed up among new growth and including the outer leaves drooping everywhere is easily covers 2 sqaure meters.........

What will happen if I chop it all down with a hedge timmer??????

Oh you and your chain saw hedge trimmer.

If you cut it all back it will.....be considereably shorter. Then it will grow again. Just be prepared for some ugly stumps.

haha at "ugly" stumps - give me to 2 minutes - I'll up load a photo of it from this morning before I started trying to get all the dead matter out

(I've already done the hedge next to the neighbours drive/my path and it looks SOOOOOOOO much better (not perfect) but a 100 times improvement

there is something v touching about this trhead title FAQ - I think it;s the 'fairly urgent'..

on my profile now...........

oh god yes
hack it back to 'ugly' stumps

will look much better

well it is urgent - the hedge trimmer is outside ready to use again, clouds are forming in the sky - and I'm desperate to get my front garden looking more respectable before the DS's come home on Wednesday afternoon.

I've been "rained off" for nearly 3 days, and rain forecast on Wednesday - and I still have the back garden to attack too

Ooh pampas grass! They're awful things to beat back. Dh tried to burn ours and nearly set fire to the fence Sorry my gardening tips do not err on the cautious side

well yes a friend did recommend burning it back - but I have no hose, and it's awfully close to a (not too bad looking) shrub so would hate to set fire to that as well

so is this an affirmative - can I go and play with my new power tool go and cut it all back to a stump?????

You'll get fewer swingers dropping by.

I was about to mention swingers.

my dh regularly trims mine and one year we even had robins nesting in it.I am talking pampas grass here not anything else It actually grows back much nicer.

Our neighbour has a massive one that reaches over the fence and dangles over our garden table, and is forever draping its feathery ends into your salad. On the other side it pokes into our bathroom window! Give yours a good strimming and I will enjoy it vicariously.

omg - I think I do need a chainsaw for it - it's absolutely solid with dead stuff and new growth - 10 minutes and I've (literally) barely touched the sides

And I'm not sure I'm going to have enough garden sacks

They're very very tough. I can't bear them when they get huge.

Burn it...you know you want to! Actually don't. It could be like a scene from the Wicker Man if it goes up in flames.

i thought this was a thread full of innuendo.

hush my filthy mind

no kidding they're tough - especially when the dead leaves haven't been removed for god know how many years - I now have a approx 4ft high x 4ft round "clump" of pampas "matter" - live and dead all mixed into gether like a ball of bloody string............

I'm actually tempted to see if next door has a hosepipe I could borrow as I really don't think the hedge trimmer is going to do the job..............

You can cut it right back and it will regrow. But my advice: kill the fucker. Dig dig it up.

Threadworm - I'm renting - and I don't know if the owner wants rid of it - but I'm sure at the very least they'd like it "reducing" - it's obviously NEVER been pruned in any shape or form.

I'm now at a loss of what to do with a mountain of chopped down pampas stems/leaves and 4x4ft "ball" of grass still left remaining........

on seeing the thread title i wondered if it was some euphemistic plea for bikini waxing advice...

you dirty woman coming on look for "bush trimming" advice

Yes probably reveals more about me than you.

Just saw the photo on your profile [as well as your lovely dcs] Blimey. It s terrifying. Like that giant wig with feet on the 'don't say goodbye to your hair' ad. Looks like it is going to uproot and swallow small adults that pass by.

well yes that's what I'm worried about i'm a small adult

I think I'm just going to ahve to keep hacking at it - and the flipping "strong garden sacks" I've bought are being ripped to shreds by the grass as I shove it in ARGHHHHH

My arms used to get ripped to shreds thinning out my pampas grass. Had to move house to get away from it in the end.

now I'm getting "looks" from the neighbours - in a bid to get as much in the brown bin as possible I've taken the step stool out and have been jumping up and down inisde the bin to squash all the stuff down

maybe you should charge for the bank holiday entertainment you're laying on.

Or ask them to help!