How to learn to love my garden next year?

[MoiraRoseVibes]

Hi, all.
We moved in to our house eight years ago and we are really lucky to have a good-sized garden - one of the reasons for moving here was so we could get a bigger garden. I was so excited to get my hands on it but the reality is that I have never quite fallen in love with the garden. I love our house but the garden just has an odd feel to me - I can’t explain it but it just doesn’t feel welcoming. Our kitchen leads out onto a big deck which is quite high and you have to go down steps to the garden (it’s a bit of an odd layout and the deck is so windy we rarely sit there). I love our house for many reasons and don’t want to move so I want to work out how to really nurture our garden and maybe research some ways I can make it feel more inviting. Does anyone have any advice or does this sound mad?

Glad you like the idea. Hope you can make it work!

Thinking about it some more, don't forget to make this a two-way solution. Not only do you have the view from the kitchen window onto the "courtyard" but you also have the view from the bottom of the garden back to the house, which will now be a more evolved / rambling / interesting shape. So often you worry about a pergola or similar stealing light from indoors rooms - you don't need to worry for a cellar!
Design for both aspects.

Also, what could appear (from the kitchen) to be a courtyard wall could, on the other side (that you don't see), turn out to be part of something useful but that is still fairly decorative e.g. a cold frame, potting shed, tool shed, garden-furniture shed, etc (again, it all depends where the sun falls).

I'd say add height in the garden too...plant some trees that form nice curtain effect - like amelanchier or birch or a autumn flowering cherry. Check that the final height is suitable for your garden - that would be beautiful to look down on...

I’d suggest two things.

Look online for photos that you absolutely love and copy them where you can.

Second, I’d make little spots in the garden as inviting as you can.

Taking into account the sun and wind, first find a cosy sheltered spot say, for your morning coffee. Then fill that immediate space with plants and flowers that you love. Then see where your resting eyes go to when you look further away, and try and add in something at that point to create a fabulous focal point.

Try and do that say for a lunchtime snack (which might be another area), and say where you go for the last of the days sunshine. Eventually, when you think of your garden - it will be a succession of these charming and happy places - maybe that way you can fall in love with it.

I’ve just moved and my perfect place would be a garden table on a sun drenched terrace with greenery over growing over and above.

@Imgoingtobefree 's advice is excellent. We identified the sunny evening spot in the garden and put a table and chairs there and we have sun there till about 7.30 pm in high summer. There's another spot where I have a morning cup of tea as that gets the sun first thing in the morning. We've planted wisteria by the first spot and a coenothus by the second. I've also put in a pond and made space for a greenhouse. My garden is tiny really but looks bigger now. We've also put in lots of winter colour from stems and then lots of bulbs for spring. It tempts us out there in the colder months too then.

It's important to have a slightly hidden bit too - for compost bins and pots that aren't lookign their best - but also for you too hide in! You don't want to see the whole garden at once.

Thank you for all these suggestions… even thinking about it is making me feel quite hopeful. I think the basement courtyard idea could be a winner. If it happens I’ll post before and after pics…