Garden disaaaaaaaaster! I've got no right to take my place with the human race

[Beachtastic]

A nod to Morrissey for the thread title...

I've planted a brand new garden from scratch (after living abroad in a place with no garden) and was so overexcited about this that I went mad for ordering plants online, with mixed results.

Then the raised beds took ages to sort out (for various complicated reasons), so a lot of things have been sitting around all spring/summer in pots waiting to go in the soil. Some have died, others are struggling, and some were never right in the first place and I suspect will end up on the compost heap.

When half the garden was finally ready for planting, I had completely forgotten my original plans for it (because many plants were no longer viable), so shoved things in hoping for the best, based on preferred sun exposure/soil type etc.

I've overplanted, mixed things up that don't go together, etc. I feel such a wretched failure! Come autumn/winter I'll move things around a bit, but in the meantime some plants have grown to twice the size I expected and are blocking others that haven't done so well.

The lovely garden I had in mind is currently just a source of stress and guilt about waste/expense/lack of imagination/poor judgement. I suppose it will evolve over time, but am really struggling with beating myself up and feeling like the world's worst gardener.

Has anyone else had this experience and does it get better over time?

I spend loads of time and thought planning what to put in the pots on my balcony and in my little allotment, and so much just dies! So I wouldn’t beat yourself up if your problem is overabundance and things being too large. It looks good now, and I’m sure you can find people to donate unwanted plants to if it comes to that.

The best things happen when stuff gets a bit mixed up - at least you’ve made the bones of your garden and are keen to keep going. It will be lovely - don’t forget to appreciate it along the way; most of us gardeners are never happy and can’t sit still long enough to enjoy the roses!

My garden is a mix of stuff that was here when we moved in, stuff I planted, weeds I happen to like, and stuff planted by squirrels. It is not organised, it has no colour scheme, and nothing is neat. I love it, bees love it, and something is always in flower all year round.

Try and ENJOY it - the garden and the process. There's only so much 'control' you can have over a garden (so many external factors).
So enjoy it - that's what it's for.

Thank you so much everyone for cheering me up, and for the lovely photos!

I'm feeling a lot more positive about it now... I am going to draw a mental veil over the wastefulness of my project, and focus on making little adjustments over time.

One thing to celebrate is having flowers and fruits in the garden at last. I can't tell you how much I've missed being able to plant something and see it grow! (Even if it's all in the wrong space at the moment!!!!!!!!!) The highlight of my year was picking a bunch of sweet peas. I haven't been able to grow those since 2010 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

I would sort out where the trees and shrubs are going to go. Most woody plants are labelled to show height and spread in 10 years. Yes some can be kept smaller but some can’t. Prunus Kojo no Mai is very very slow growing. Use bamboo canes to mark out eventual height and spread. Most herbaceous perennials can be moved easily so I wouldn’t worry about where they are too much. Many benefit from dividing and moving. If your shrubs only went in this year they will move easily when we have had a substantial amount of rain.

It looks lovely! It takes 2-3 years minimum for a garden to properly settle in and mature and find itself. Some things die for no apparent reason, something thrive for unknown reasons too.

I practice a kind of Darwinian gardening. If something dies I don't get it again. If something is successful, get more of them, or a variety of the same plant. I have a lot of salvia, and hardy fuchsia currently and we are benefiting from next doors raspberries spreading under the fence!

Do not be afraid or moving/removing plants that don't work. Recycle where you can. Gardens are never 'done'.