How to Avoid Getting Rubbish Gardening-Related Christmas Gifts?

[irridium]

Dreading another year's worth of useless presents such as last year's - cheapo whimiscal garden "trug" carved onto the front with "home sweet home" with shixxy fork and trowel set, wildflower seeds impregnated onto the Christmas card, garden all-year-round book and chilli plant pot set. I've tried dropping hints of a seed wish list that I make in the autumn or certain books or gardening vouchers. None of them seem to hear me.

Year on year, it makes me annoyed and want to tell these people don't bother as I'm not doing presents anymore. When I buy for these people, I make sure it's something they would love or is part of their wish list. One good friend always stick to this and I got a Birdies Metal Raised Bed (bought two last year and they're great!)

The way we manage is to exchange quite specific lists within the family and not exchange gifts outside the family.

You say “When I buy for these people, I make sure it's something they would love or is part of their wish list.”, but these people are trying to do the same without any real understanding of what a gardener wants. They think they’ve found something you’ll like even more than the mundane hints you’ve dropped. Accept it as a “we like you enough to buy a present” token and have no expectations. Open the potentially crap presents first and save the good ones till last.

You buy the something you think they would love. They're doing the same for you.

'Hobby' gifts are always this way. Gofling shite, stuff with dogs on, novelty bottle opener for a wine buff...

It's really grinchy, but I think gifts for adults are silly most of the time. But then it's really just an expression of affection.

Ugh - I know. I have quite a few friends in the bonsai community, and they often receive 'Grow your own Bonsai' kits from well-meaning relatives. Utter waste of time. Apart from having to germinate the things and leave them 5-10 years before anything is worth working with, there is no such thing as a bonsai tree seed. They are ordinary tree seeds!

It has always been difficult to buy for anyone when I don't actually enjoy shopping, even for myself, not unless its for my garden! I make the effort to find something that I'd like as well so I feel it's worth paying for and it's a win-win on both sides. Most tend to be books or home decor like a decent scented candle or nice tea towels, hand thrown mug or bowl. I can't abide good money that's wasted on rubbish presents. I'd rather have nothing to save me from getting cringey and politely saying thanks, how lovely of you. I know we all have differing tastes and we have to accept that not everyone is going to go with the same aesthetics as yourself. I know, I am difficult to buy for, generally.

It almost worse when people know you have a particular interest. You see charity shops with a shelf full of a particular thing - like little frog ornaments - and you know some poor sod once mentioned they liked something similar once and the entire family have bought them for him/her since. I know someone who once mentioned they like a fridge magnet and has been bought one by her daughter on every holiday she's been on for decades.

If someone was deep into a hobby or interest, I wouldn't dream of trying to buy them something related to it as I don't have enough knowledge. But other seize upon it.

The only way out is to be very, very explicit about what you want. If that isn't possible, state that you are not giving gifts this year and do not expect any because you will be donating to a particular charity. And you would be grateful if anyone who wants to make a gift to you would do the same to a charity of their choice.

Perhaps the hints need to be diversionary tactics such as 'after an afternoons gardening there's nothing better than sitting down with some good biscuits/chocolate/wine/cheese' or 'soaking in a scented bath with some lovely candles' ?

Most tend to be books or home decor like a decent scented candle or nice tea towels, hand thrown mug or bowl. Now I don’t use candles or tea towels and hate hand thrown (thick) mugs and bowls that don’t complement the ones I already have. So I’d regard your gifts as instant charity shop fare. I suspect your givers of crap gifts have put just as much thought into it as you. I make the effort to find something that I'd like as well That’s no guarantee that they will like it! I think you have to accept the gift as an expression of affection, and not worry about it being anything you actually want.

Unfortunately, the present givers tend to buy cheap stuff so I'm less inclined to match their taste to mine. I'll just have to accept their gifts with grace and move on.

@MereDintofPandiculation hahaha - it seems we have opposite tastes! I do like refined things (I can imagine you are), but I like the naturalistic look in my house. Not overly colourful nor fussy.

I feel terrible saying this but I don't like getting people's home made chutney or sloe gin or infused oils. Except my mums - they are always divine. But I find other people's bulk food making a bit off and I rarely eat it.

I feel really guilty for saying that now

One year, I got into foraging and decided I'd make everything from scratch with preserving this and that. It took many, many nights of hard slogging. I found out on an occasional visit to a recipient and saw my poor jam and chutney at the back of the cupboard. I didn't make them again after that. I just assumed that the family would like homemade stuff, but apparently, that was too much of a stretch. (And yet, I made the jams and chutneys properly, not some slap-dash rubbish!)

i'm not sure your presents sound much better. I think I'd be s bit disappointed with tea towels or hand thrown mugs.

I'd love a tea towel or a hand thrown mug. I'd hate anything to do with my hobby as I know exactly what I want and where to get it.

I also like a decent scented candle but I know most of Mumsnet thinks that's a rubbish present

I have to say OP you sound utterly convinced that the gifts you give are wonderful, although several people on this thread are pointing out that gifts are subjective and yours may be regarded by the recipients in the same way that you see the novelty trug / random wildflower seeds.
’Too much of a stretch’ for people to love your homemade foraged produce? Perhaps your gifts weren’t quite as appealing as you thought they were?

😬I know. I've made stuff as well. Loads of bottles of sweet chilli sauce. Ended up with chemical burns between all my fingers for 2 days I chopped so many chillies.

Since I've realised I never eat anyone else's food presents (unless shop bought), I've stopped all thoughts of making them myself. I think it's just better to make it for yourself, or buy people something delicious from a local deli or m&s.

I’m very greedy about my own produce. A very favoured friend might be offered “would you like some medlar jelly?” but always with a let-out “or don’t you eat a lot of jam?” And not for a birthday or Christmas present.

You spend most of November and all December racking your brains to think of stuff to buy for people and, at a time when most adults know exactly what they like and go buy it for themselves it's so hard to think of anything.

Rarely do you receive a gift you'd have bought yourself. Tons of things go in the bin or to a charity shop...who wants to buy a novelty chocolate spoon and marshmallow set in January? It's a total waste of money and resources - an environmental nightmare. In this materialistic world few of us actually need more stuff.

A couple of years back our family and friends all agreed to stop the nonsense. Now we have lovely memorable experiences instead (days out to events, theatre, afternoon teas etc) and we spread them out through the year so it's not all over and back to the grind with an overdraft on January 2nd.

Oh the relief. It gives us our November and December back, we get to spend time together instead and you don't have that 'eek, I've got to pretend I like these bath salts' or the guilt of shuffling a hideous scarf off to charity.

Totally get this.I have a few hobbies and interests and people often try and buy me items related to them, I often get duplicate gifts or gifts of poor quality items I won’t use, mugs with said interest on and books related to my interests (which is fine but I have loads already and they are often duplicates). I would rather people asked me what I would like or give me a voucher but I guess people enjoy selecting gifts that they think we will like? I like doing the same 😬

I just usually buy people gift cards for a nice garden centre. Poor mil had 4 bird baths one year lol

books related to my interests (which is fine but I have loads already and they are often duplicates)

DH and I have twice in the past bought each other the same book! ...so now we mostly buy ourselves what we want, or have very specifically asked for, such as my hori hori last year. Previous years yielded excellent loppers and a telescopic pruner.

Now...which fearsome garden implement should I request this year?

Say that u r t doing presents, then buy wot u actually want, no point in buying and receiving tat.

I made tomato chutney this year, delicious, and was thinking of giving to a few people but will rethink based on comments here.
If people aren’t going to eat it I’ll keep them for myself as they’ll store well.

Mattock!

I read about it on here, years ago (Mere, might have been you actually?), and got one.

It is both useful and fearsome.

I wish I had friends who offered medlar jelly. I love the stuff. I've always fancied the idea of medlar cheese, too, if you have some lying around!

One year I received a tonne of gravel. That was a good present.

I never eat food people make.