Gardening is much harder than I thought and my garden is all going wrong!

[Curlewwoohoo]

I had some building works a couple of years ago that trashed the place so had to start again with many things in the garden, although we did have some trees and shrubs in place to work with. I did loads of research, drew out what I wanted, got new lawn, got nice plants. But it just doesn't seem to be working out very well!

All the perennials I put in like rudbekia, virbena, echinops, asta, Salvia (I know I haven't spelt these right!) - they're just all being tangled up and pulled over by bind weed.

The buddleia I put in at the back to grow in front of the fence grew forwards instead of up. I had to tie it to a hook and it looks a fright.

The mature shrubs like forscythia, cotoneyaster (spelling!!) and spirea all need cutting back and the garden waste bin is constantly full so I've always got half jobs on the go. Half the spirea looks like dead twigs from the base.

The honeysuckle I put in 3 weeks ago to go up the shed has already got grey fungus I assume it is.

The mature trees are all on the south so we are in full shade, but I don't want to cut down trees.

The massive old clematis that was amazing died in the winter weather and will be a bugger to dig out and replace.

The front 'hedge' of flowering shrubs looks to be 50% bramble and hedge bindweed.

I really love having a garden, beautiful flowers, wildlife friendly, but it's all going to pot!

Oh and the bark under the chair in the back corner is a giant cat toilet - kids keep stepping in mess when they go to use it! So I think I'm going to have to get rid of that and lift the liner.

they're just all being tangled up and pulled over by bind weed.

Unfortunately your garden is going to take a little more work than you thought to get rid of the damn bindweed.

It took me 10 years to get rid of bindweed mainly because it was coming through from next doors garden.

What I initially did when I moved in was cover the patch with weed fabric and then remove all the roots. I then put plants in.

Then when I noticed the bindweed growing pulled it out. I put canes in the area and the bindweed started growing up the canes. I then tried painting weed killer on it. It worked for a bit. I then had to do inspections every couple of days and dig or pull out any young bindweed I found trying to get it's roots.

Eventually I had neighbours move in who gardened and so after a year of them being there it stopped appearing.

Yes we have bindweed coming in from one neighbour and bramble and rats from the other.

Don't be disheartened, @Curlewwoohoo , gardening is much more difficult than we think. But once you get over the hump of it looking awful, it can be strangely addictive.

I'm not an expert gardener, but I'm a couple of years ahead of you, having had to make a new garden myself.

People will be along with proper tips, but I know when I first started I did plant things in the wrong place, so once you've planned a fight back against the bindweed, that could be something to consider. Also have a look online for tips on how to prune things, it can make a big difference.

Unfortunately gardening is a lot of relentless work.

Bindweed is a pain. Generally the best you can hope for is managing it rather than eradication.

Shrubs like Forsythia need pruning every year. I take a third off each year.

As you have found plants grow as they please not necessarily where you want. But with the buddlea you can prune it dramatically after flowering and hope it has better ideas next time.

If you have full shade it's hard for plants as they have no light and no water. You either accept this or get rid of some trees. I've had 6 trees out of not a big garden, it's still shady but hopefully something might grow now.

I've revamped my garden this year and it's just weeding, mulching, pruning on repeat. And now watering!

Thanks guys

One flower bed is in full sun, the lawn and other bed full shade. I've put shady plants in there and it's doing OK.

Bindweed is my nemesis. Good advice above - grow it up a cane then use the strongest weedkiller you can find on it (I don’t use chemicals on anything else, but you won’t sort it without).

Brambles - cut back, keep cutting back. When the branch touches the soil it’ll grow roots then branch again, so you must keep it under control.

The buddleia - in March next year, chop it back to just above the lowest green leaf. Preferably to about 12 inches about the ground. It should sprout up happily. Don’t worry about cutting it too far back, it is very hard to kill!

Gardening is fun but absolutely relentless, as soon as you turn your back on it it goes wild like a toddler with a sharpie! Sounds like you have lots of good stuff, if you can get some control of the bindweed and brambles you’ll be doing great.

Persevere with the weeding and it will improve. Paint the brambles and bindweed with weed killer. Other weeds can probably be kept at bay by hand weeding but do it often, it gets easier.
Cut the buddleia back to about 30cm high every spring to keep it manageable.

Can you put bait boxes out for the rats?

My DM once razed my buddleia to the ground.

It's still thriving.

Yes gardening is constant work! I have 3 green bins on the go. My council just started charging for them so it’s £52/yr green bin #1 and £28/yr for extra green bins.

“The mature trees are all on the south so we are in full shade, but I don't want to cut down trees.”

You could have them thinned though by a tree surgeon so the garden is dappled shade rather than full shade.

“Oh and the bark under the chair in the back corner is a giant cat toilet”

I had this. The prior owners had a big gravel bed and flower bed at the bottom of garden where it is shadiest. Their dog used the gravel as toilet as did their cat in the flowe bed (which had no flowers, only the odd weed). I shoveled all the grave up, and put down grass. The neighborhood cats decided to start using the flower bed as a toilet….i have been combatting them by several measures

• i used a trowel and dug up all the cat poo
• i mixed coffee grounds in the dirt
• i then got some flag stones and smashed them by tossing them on a sharp rock. The shattered pieces I then laid on the flower bed with spaces between.
• I then planted some leopards bane, bushy loelia, hosta, and oddly a few poppies have self seeded in the spaces between the stones.

looks great and no more cat poo smell when down the bottom of the garden.

I’ve made loads of mistakes OP. But most plants are pretty resilient and can be dug up and relocated if you do it in spring or autumn.

I got rid of bindweed by untangling it from the plant, laying it on a sheet of polythene and spraying it, if you don't mind using a weed killer.

Bark is going to be v appealing to cats.

I learned the hard way that if you don't want cats to poo somewhere, don't make it look like a litter tray.

The easiest deterrent is to place a lot of pointy sticks in the ground so they don't have any space to settle down to poo.

The buddleia I put in at the back to grow in front of the fence grew forwards instead of up. I had to tie it to a hook and it looks a fright. Plants need the light. So if you plant up against a fence, the tendency is for the plant to grow forward unless you tie it back against the fence.

All the perennials I put in like rudbekia, virbena, echinops, asta, Salvia (I know I haven't spelt these right!) - they're just all being tangled up and pulled over by bind weed. You have to be alert and pull it whenever you see it.

The mature shrubs like forscythia, cotoneyaster (spelling!!) and spirea all need cutting back and the garden waste bin is constantly full so I've always got half jobs on the go. Half the spirea looks like dead twigs from the base. Gentle pruning back just after flowering to keep in shape, major pruning in the winter. Cutting stuff up into short straight pieces allows you to get more in the bin. You may have to resign yourself to the occasional tip run.

The honeysuckle I put in 3 weeks ago to go up the shed has already got grey fungus I assume it is. Probably mildew. Try and increase the airflow around it.

The mature trees are all on the south so we are in full shade, but I don't want to cut down trees. There’s still a lot of plants that will grow and flower in the shade. Have a look at Long Acre Plants which specialises in plants for shade

The massive old clematis that was amazing died in the winter weather and will be a bugger to dig out and replace. I wouldnt panic yet. Clematis have an amazing zest for life. No need to dig it out. Getting rid of dead stuff above ground will be easier next year when it’ll be less tough.

Thanks for all the great advice!

Honeysuckle may also need more water - could be powdery mildew - sign of water stress.

Bindweed-wise, put in some canes for it to grow up and then spray/paint with a weedkiller containing Glyphosate (eg Roundup) be careful tho, this kills Everything. But usually effective on Bindweed though you may need to use a few times across a 12 month period.

Good luck! You'll get there, you're at the tough part of the learning curve.Look at neighbour's nice gardens and see what's growing happily (get a Plant id app).

I got rid of bindweed by pouring boiling water on the roots!

Honeysuckle may also need more water - could be powdery mildew - sign of water stress. Surely not this year

Gardening is a process, not a one-off. More like washing up than painting a room.

absolutely right! I think thats why it's such a hard task. People want the instagram look but a week later its changed and a month later, well..

My DH once took a chainsaw to all my shrubs and I came home to find a barren wasteland!! My 8ft fuscia was a foot of twigs (he thought it was ‘dead’). I was devastated.

By the following summer the garden actually looked better than ever! I’m now considering a hacking spree of my own this autumn.

Watch all the gardening programmes on TV.
Join a gardening club.
Talk to neighbours about their gardens & what seems to grow best, locally.
Test your soil for acid/alkaline. Buy the kit from garden centre. That’ll help you choose suitable plants.
Clay soil needs work to get it friable. Sandy soil needs feeding and compost to give it substance.
I have a deep shade border but Peonies and true Geraniums (Cranesbill) and ferns like it.

Gardeners need to be patient. It’s a life long learning curve but it’s soooo good for mental health. Don’t be disheartened. You’ll get there.

Gardening is a relentless challenge, I weed a bed and a week later it's ready to be done again.

Things grow out not up when they are hungry for sun, so it might not be in the right position for its preferences.

Read up on pruning cycles for the things you've got, some need a gentle touch and some like to be treated mean, it keeps them keen!

I think gardening is like painting a picture that you have to touch up every week to keep it looking good.

Could you get a good, qualified and experienced gardener in for a one off overhaul OP? If you pick the right person they'll be happy for you to work alongside them, learning as you go about pruning, plant problems, weed blitzing etc.

If they do a day with you it might cost a couple of hundred quid but you'll be left with a smart starting point (and the resulting peace of mind), a load of information and some bright ideas. I was a gardener before I retired and this type of job was my very favourite.

You need the Chelsea Chop.

OP yes, gardening is hard work! When we were in the UK our garden was 'allotment style' in that every house had a piece of land on a larger plot given to the row of houses after the war took out the nurseries that used to be there. So you were gardening in full view of anyone also out there.

We used to do 90% of the work in the winter when they were tucked up indoors. So they rarely saw anything except pruning back summer growth or mowing the path. Everything else like removing 30 plants, digging out all the weed roots, redoing the edges and brickwork, replanting and mulching - all done with no audience. So they thought it was all done by magic.

You also need patience. We now have a rather large garden which we bought in 2021 and we are removing lawn bit by bit and putting smaller beds in, which in time get made larger and larger as the plants grow. We weed something every day. We prune things every day.

During the very wet winter here, I was out there, almost daily with my dandilion weeder taking as many weeds out of my lawn as I could, in the pouring rain, with my waterproofs on, headphones and music on, trying to make the lawn more grass and less perennial weeds as I could. So every year the creeping buttercup is lessened and the grass grows to fill the gaps it leaves.

These all went into a large compost heap which in turn will give me good compost to put on the veg beds.

But this year is the worst I've ever known for being difficult so don't be disheartened. Just use it to learn things and keep on keeping on.