Help! I need to hide an eyesore

[cctvrec]

Long story short, neighbour has attached a Sky dish to the shared fence between us. It's HA property so neither of us "owns" the fence. The thing is, it's a botch up job. Pole spiked into garden, and duct taped all around a fence slat to hold it in place. Added bonus of a length of old electrical cord has been wrapped around and around to hold it in place even more. I've just spent a few hundred getting my garden nice this year and I'm cringing looking at this.

I don't want a neighbour fall out cos we have a good relationship so I just want to hide the bugger.

So, what plant do I need? It needs to be in a pot too as it's a concrete slab underneath it. I reckon 5 ft talk should do nicely. It also needs to be relatively slim as there's a gas meter beside it and a huge thick bush wouldn't do.

Oh, and really bloody cheap if possible! I'm pretty much skint.

A trellis might be cheaper than a large shrub in a pot, and provide more coverage. If the dish is encroaching into your side maybe have a freestanding one. You could just have it as a screen or paint it a nice colour, trail something up it or place smaller cheaper pots in front.

I don't know, but you are a truly lovely person to put up with that eyesore and not get your neighbour to move it!

Something like this?

There are cheapo plastic trellis with plastic foliage in places like Aldi, Lidl, Home Bargains and B&M Stores

packet of nasturtium seeds. A climbing one on a trellis like linked to above. That will sort it till the first frosts and by then you'll have an idea of something else. Or boy a cheap evergreen conifer and it'll grow up in a pot and put it in place when the nasturtium dies.

Pyracantha do really well in a pot. You can buy them quite tall relatively cheap.

Bamboo in a pot would do the job.

Something like this with a climber and some little flowering plants?
www.argos.co.uk/product/2967017?istCompanyId=a74d8886-5df9-4baa-b776-166b3bf9111c&istFeedId=c290d9a9-b5d6-423c-841d-2a559621874c&istItemId=ixrlpqxaq&istBid=t&&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59157%7cacid:804-872-0397%7ccid:9595961000%7cagid:98944957157%7ctid:pla-919159193004%7ccrid:424865084336%7cnw:g%7crnd:4055778148414164472%7cdvc:m%7cadp:%7cmt:%7cloc:9045089&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=9595961000&utm_term=2967017&utm_content=shopping&utm_custom1=98944957157&utm_custom2=804-872-0397&gclid=Cj0KCQjwh_eFBhDZARIsALHjIKfuZul1WFcfCMrl48KvHGCpaERvju4bk5YMKQqiVNU81q2vhdrhgcAaAuTVEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Thanks, some great ideas here. I do have a leftover wooden trellis in the shed that you nail to the fence. It's the fence colour and I could pop that on for now for a bit of cover and I've moved my tallest potted Pieris (?) in front of it for now.

Does the dish actually pick up signals from so low down? Clearly all the dish installers are pulling a fast one by insisting on fixing them up high!

Second bamboo in a pot.

Also coming on to recommend bamboo

I’d get a tall slender conifer, some of the Cyprus type. Not flowering or particularly pretty but will hide it all year. If you got a wide pot you could underplant it with bedding plants for more interest.

Pyracantha do really well in a pot. You can buy them quite tall relatively cheap

They are also incredibly spiky and poisonous. Can bring out horrendous skin blisters.

Avoid if you have children

They may complain that your planting interferes with their satellite connection. We had this issue with leaves near our dish in a previous house. In which case that would be a good time to suggest they move the dish!

I'd do 3 pots of bamboo. It grows quickly so big pots. Should take up lots of space and create a 'green screen' v quickly.

Going with 3 over 1 because that it bloody ugly and you'll want it out of eyesight as much as possible.

Does the dish actually pick up signals from so low down? Clearly all the dish installers are pulling a fast one by insisting on fixing them up high!

Yes the majority of the houses on the street have garden dishes. My DH does shout to me out the window sometimes if I'm having a chat with the neighbour and haven't realised I am standing in front of our dish though.
I'd much prefer it on the roof or high up the side of the house. At least then there would be less chance of crappy self repair jobs.

I don't think it's working by the way, the neighbours have had to come down once or twice and fiddle about with it. My guess is the issue is a technical fault with the signal receiver, not dish position. If it were dish position, surely mine would be out too as it was less than 2ft behind it.

@UneAstuce

They may complain that your planting interferes with their satellite connection. We had this issue with leaves near our dish in a previous house. In which case that would be a good time to suggest they move the dish!

That is true. My plant won't be moved of course

Thalictrum Dealvayi? Its very easy to grow and low maintenance, so I imagine it'll be happy in a pot, and it gets fairly tall without getting too bulky (meaning your neighbours won't be able to complain about blocking their light) www.bethchatto.co.uk/a-z/s-z/thalictrum/thalictrum-delavayi.htm

I'd lift a couple of those slabs and plant a clematis montana. In its first year it would be all over that dish!

And it's pretty and has a subtle but very nice scent when in flower.