New patio - flags with mortar or sand?

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We’re about to have a small new patio laid. The landscaper looked at me as though I were nuts when I said I might want just sand between the flagstones rather than cement/mortar! Apparently it will be a nightmare with endless weeds growing through. Is he right? I don’t like the look of a blocky expanse of absolutely solid surface, so I thought a few small creeping plants in the cracks might be ok. I really don’t want it to look like an indoor tiled floor. I’m starting to doubt myself now though and would appreciate any views!

I should add that it’s an old house and garden, and the flags will be old stone, so I want it to look to look as though it’s been there for centuries, and not all new and shiny.

That will look weird the sand will wash away the stones will move and there will be no end of weeds. It will be a mess op.

We have something between our patio slabs called joint it (I think)? It looks like set sand so it stays but doesn't look like grout, which I'm assuming is what you don't want.

Thanks both! Yes, I think it’s the grout look I don’t want. Can plants grow through the Joint It, Clint?

I'm not sure, I wouldn't have wanted them too so didn't ask. Could you possibly have some patches without slabs where you could grow things like creeping thyme or chamomile etc? Stuff that doesn't mind being walked on a bit and would smell nice but would keep the joints of the patio weed free? Also how small is small? Will it really look that blocky or could some strategic pots etc and presumably a table and chairs mean that you won't actually see much empty patio anyway?

Sorry that should say no they can't grow through although I didn't ask specifically. It's brushed in like sand and then set with water but is cement free so doesn't have that solid look.

You could fill it with gravel? Are you building a rockery? What kind of plants are you growing in between?

the flags will be old stone, so I want it to look to look as though it’s been there for centuries, and not all new and shiny.
That's the look I wanted, too. Are you having uniform stones? We mixed ours up - different size stones and some paver bricks so it's a bit higgledy-piggledy and organic-looking.
We have grout and I think that it looks fine.

We mixed ours up - different size stones and some paver bricks so it's a bit higgledy-piggledy and organic-looking

Yes, that’s exactly what we’re doing! Interesting to hear that yours looks fine with grout. Do you have any photos? I’d love to see!

No rockery, but I was thinking of small plants like creeping thyme and clover. I just want to soften the look a bit.

We've just had an April shower and different bits of the patio are drying out at different rates ... but I hope the attached gives some idea of the effect. As you can see, some mosses plants sow themselves anyway without any help from you!
I think that you have to really embrace the idea and have quite thick mortar, like they would have done in days gone by.

We've got like a sandy grout. So it looks like sand but it's hard like cement, looks really good

We've got sand, it was done when we bought the house, they wobble more and more every year and drive me mad. About to pay someone £500 to relay them with mortar.

Depends whether you're likely to burying anyone underneath it - sand would be easier to dig up.......

Seriously though, we have mortar and it's cracked in quite a few places. We're in Scotland so have quite cold weather sometimes and as soon as a crack opens something starts to grow and the cracks just get bigger. It doesn't really matter, just looks a bit messy. I suppose if we purposefully grew something in the cracks it might look better but I think we're too cold for chamomile or thyme.

We did have a patio that was literally there for centuries before we removed it. It was very old sandstone slabs, All different shapes has sizes,. It’s the worst ball ache ever. It is unstable and the weeds take over anything you’re trying to grow. I’d really really think twice about this. Unless you want to spend a large amount of time weeding.

Oh Senua that looks really nice! Thank you for the photo. It doesn’t look impermeable - I like the mossy edges. Thick mortar sounds like it might work.

Elsa I assume the sandy grout is the same sort of stuff as Joint It?

Lots to think about here - I definitely don’t want wobbling or shifting about! I don’t mind a few weeds though.