Can anyone identify this bug which is taking over part of my garden?

[amazonianwoman]

There are hundreds of the bloody things, all over wooden garden table and inside and on top of a large canvas parasol. Also loads scurrying around a brick wall next to a silver birch tree. They never keep still. Don't seem to fly or bite. Cherry red if squashed!

We can't get rid of them and can't use the table. Not a first world problem, but they do make your skin crawl, and they are multiplying by the day

Forgot to say, they range in size 1-4mm

Are they baby ladybirds?

Looks like a shield beetle. Lovely little things and harmless.
Most of us creatures are red when squished.

@Strawberrycreamsundae

Are they baby ladybirds?

No.

Baby ladybirds look like aliens.

Ladybird larva
www.thoughtco.com/the-life-cycle-of-ladybugs-1968141

The patterning varies according to species, but the combination of black and orange stayes the same.

DH came into my study last night, said "open your hand", and dropped one of these into it. My reaction was "shield bug", but I haven't been able to id to species.

Thanks for your replies. They aren't ladybirds.
Agree they look like some kind of shield bug. Good to know that they're harmless, but would like to move them on from our outdoor dining table and parasol because there are hundreds of them crawling around and it's impossible to sit/eat outside - they get in our hair/food/clothes. The kitchen/diner is a sauna so it would be good to get out in the garden

My new best friend, director of science at the Royal Entomological Society, says they are birch catkin bugs, harmless and will eventually leave
At least it's cooled down slightly and indoor eating is bearable...