Advice on neighbour/garden

[Suzi888]

Morning, hope someone on here can help. We’ve lived in our current house for 11 years and have always gotten along with our neighbour. However, as we’ve done little things to the house (improvements, minor I think; new boiler, double glazing, fitted wardrobes... they have ignored us for a few weeks after the work was completed. Recently we had a baby and previously never bothered much with our garden. It’s sort of tiered. Balcony, steps to large patio, then lawn. Anyway we had a lot of conifers and bushes etc at the bottom of our garden. It blocks off quite a nice view of woodland. So after contacting the council to ensure the trees were ours and no tpo’s we had someone over to cut some down to the stump and others half way. The main reason is to dry up the area so that our daughter can play on the lawn and so that we get more light, maybe have a tree house and I can put some bedding plants in. There’s also a lot rubbish left by a previous neighbour that needs to be disposed of. A tin roof, railings, glass. I’ve been sorting it and every time I go outside he appears and asks what I am doing and suggesting I stop as I might knock down our fence and expose him to the view. I said that we are getting a new fence and that all the rubbish will be removed by the start of September. I could tell he wasn’t happy.
Yesterday he started shouting that I am a disgrace, that I’m disgusting, that I want to see concrete and that I have ruined trees that were there before I was born, I’ve exposed his garden and he will end up in the grave. I replied calmly and said the plants belong to us and I’ve spoken to the council. He said that doesn’t mean you can go around doing what you want in your garden. I said actually it does. This area is nowhere near the boundary and the neighbour has many conifers etc of his own. What would you do?

Our neighbours are like this. We are moving
. We found that once something like this happens, they thought it was their right to scream and shout over the fence at everything!! You can reason with stupid unfortunately

Oh dear. He's probably not quite all there... It's your garden. Don't forgo your patio for his sake! Take the apple tree, down, replace the fence with one tall enough to prohibit seeing and talking to him and if he persists, warn him that his behaviour is becoming intrusive and you'll report him.

Op just do what you wish to do in your garden, you’ll never win and you can’t allow neighbours to dictate to you.

We have a somewhat similar issue, but not as severe. Our neighbours get a bit judgey. They have all lived here a long time, and we took some trees out and one actually walked round tutting and shaking his head. The other gave me the cats arse pursed mouth look when I commented on taking them out and stomped off.

Personally as a family we don’t understand it. I can’t imagine ever commenting on what my neighbours do with their gardens or homes. I would have an opinion if It was a major change, as in that’s nice or that’s awful, but if it was negative I’d not in any way reveal my thoughts to them but some folks seem to think if they’ve lived somewhere a long time they get to have a say in what you do. Personally I don’t subscribe to that view.

Honestly you may as well just crack on.

People are odd though, in the house we rent out there's an enormous magnolia tree in the front garden. We decided to prune it quite extremely so the tenants don't have to, it's still huge but doesn't now reach into the overhead cables, and we now get a tree surgeon on to it once a year to keep it that height. But one set of neighbours in particular always complains, says they have a lovely view of it and don't want it cut, and telling us not to ever take it out completely - not in a friendly way, either!

I'd be saying goodbye to the Apple
Tree and getting DD that trampoline.
And I'd play music (at a decent volume) if/when you want to, it doesn't scare the birds away or stop me hearing them in our garden. I always have the radio on when I'm out.
You have spoilt him being so considerate over the years so maybe he expects things to stay as he wants/expects but he's hindering your enjoyment of your own space / garden.
Stuff him, he doesn't deserve so much consideration.

Its YOUR garden OP. He cannot tell you what you can or can't do to your own property. He will likely complain whatever you do so you might as well do whatever you want. When he complains just repeat that you can do whatever you like to your own property.

I know it shouldn’t bother me that he gossips, but it’s just the thought he’s bad mouthing us to the street😣 as I know he will tell people we have ruined his garden, that he’s elderly, we are bullying him. That’s the way he sees it.
That’s a very good idea, I will definitely take photos /video of the whole area. I think it hasn’t helped that we’ve started chopping trees down but haven’t started on the fence or decking yet. It’s quite a big job and we need to book a chunk of time off work to complete it, which we will soon. I think you we right he’s set in his ways and he doesn’t want to look at the view of the parkland just the view of our trees (they weren’t even very nice trees, the conifer was going brown where one of his trees fell on it and snapped it, ivy growing up them)
I won’t engage with him now unless he talks to us first, which is very unlikely. Just realised you can post a photo. This is the bottom of our back garden, still loads of trees and a broken fence that needs to go ASAP!

There's plenty of trees there. I had a horrible neighbour that would shout at us and block our drive if we did things he didn't like. I was pregnant at the time and was waking in the night with panic attacks. I contacted the police in the end and they came round and spoken to him. He moved soon after

Wow! Rewarding everyone’s messages, there seem to be some very odd people out there! I think we’ve always been lucky in the past, our last neighbours were great. ‘Cat’s ass purse mouth’ 😂 that made me chuckle. I’m about to go outside now and remove the dead branches... may the force be with me! Think we will put a trampoline down the bottom end as DD loves the garden and doesn’t have any play equipment at the moment due to us not wanting to disturb the neighbour.

Reading I meant! 🤪

Enjoy your garden.
Stop worrying about what other neighbours will think about you.
I'm sure they've already worked out that he's an eejit and wife too!
( And you sound so kind and thoughtful.. Don't let HIM bully YOU)

Thank you, it’s been great to have some virtual support. We’ve booked time off and are ordering the fencing /decking. I intend to plant some shrubs/flowers too once the fencing etc is complete, so hopefully by next summer it’ll look much tidier and prettier than it does now.

Can[t work out if this is your next door neighbour or behind you?

Our garden was a bit like that, OP. The conifers in our garden were casting a shadow on half our lawn (we face south west) so we cut them down and we put laurels in which we keep to a manageable height ourselves. There was a period where the back of the garden looked AWFUL but our elderly neighbours never once said anything. They showed an interest and asked what our plans were, and said "ooh, you'll see a difference with your lawn, it'll grow better now there's more light".

They are so good that we don't want to offend them by suggesting we get a new fence between us. It's their fence really and he's never mentioned that he thinks it's too low so guess they're happy with it.
As someone mentioned upthread, it's only waist height so not very private as their patio is right by the fence. So we''ve gone for a photinia instead to put there so it will create some privacy. Consideration works both ways.

Only thing I'dd say, OP, greenery is more attractive than a fence, however you look at it, and better for animal and bird life, so maybe he thinks you want to go all minimalist and have nothing much there?

He is wierd, though, saying they're "his" trees. Wonder if he actually gave them to the previous owners years back?

Also, the trees behind the fence look really high and could still cast a shadow on that end of your lawn. Unfortunately behind us has one conifer that they don't cut back very often and it does create a shadow but nothing I can do about it. It has nesting and roosting birds in it anyway so I like it for that reason.

@CurlyhairedAssassin
The neighbour is to my left, next door to us, the bottom of the garden is a wood/ parkland.
We are inundated with birds, squirrels, foxes, butterflies, bats and goodness knows what else. I suppose I do want to go minimalist in terms of having shrubbery I can control. We had 3 conifers and 2 Apple trees, we now have 1 trimmed conifer and 2 apple trees. There will be new fencing, decking, a pretty big lawn and an 18 m long x2 bedding area for plants/ shrubs. It’s OUR garden though, so if I wanted to patio over the lot he shouldn’t interfere.
Behind our fence are some moderately high trees, then green grass, then a mountain of more trees and shrubs.
Definitely not his trees, as he said they’re 100 years old. I think his garden is very messy, the bottom third is just brambles and weeds. He grows bindweed as if they are flowers (amongst other very invasive weeds and brambles) all down the side, which naturally poke through to our side! I’d never actually tell him his garden is messy though.

Maybe you should (in a polite ish way). Eg did you know you had bind weed there thst’s Coming through our side of the fence?

Remove the apple tree and have your trampoline.

Any bind weed that comes through your fence spray with weed killer. It’s a weed in your garden, not your fault if it’s roots are next door.

Ignore him, conifers are a bloody nuisance and should never be planted in gardens, if our neighbours cut theirs we would have lots more sun on our patio. Regarding the apple tree,cut it now. He's already given out to you, you believe he's going to talk about you so give him something to talk about. Get your garden exactly how you want it, then enjoy it, have lots of bbq's, children playing etc and pay no heed to your sour neighbour

Fucking hate conifers the neighbours behind us they have a wide garden (ours long and thin) so their conifers are ridiculously tall and span like 4 of our gardens blocking our light.

I want to write to them to cut down

@CurlyhairedAssassin I can’t, because to him they are his ‘plants’. I do snip them with scissors though when they poke through. I don’t understand why he wants them. His wife says he’s very tight and I have a feeling instead of buying plants he takes cuttings of ‘pretty’ weeds to grow instead. @BeeTreesIf I spray them - (they’re very tall) they’ll go brown and look awful. Roundup spray travels. @user1468538201 We are starting work over the next two weeks - glad to be getting it sorted finally! Just hope it stays fairly dry!
@FinallyRelief I completely agree- I’d never have them, it’s very selfish. My mum & dad had 8 and removed them as they had no idea they’d grow so tall and cast a huge shadow.
Thanks all - it’s good to know I’m doing the right thing.

Your view is fab! I'd think carefully about what fence you replace the existing one with. If you put trellis against it and climbers then eventually it will disappear and you won't be able to see the bottom of your garden (and you get to extend your garden - visually at least).

Don't feel sorry for him because he's 'elderly' - he's only 70, he's not some frail person at the end of life, especially if he's got the energy to have a go at you.

@yomellamoHelly no chance! Nothing that can get totally out of control. @Ihaventgottimeforthis I think he’s best ignored now. Due to his huge 3m fence /Apple tree combo he can’t see us that much anymore. Which I’m very happy about!

I can't believe you're even taking any notice of him! It's your garden, do what you want.

Ignore any comments from him. I'd be putting up the highest fence I could find between his garden and mine. Any comments from him should be nipped in the bud with a firm, "we're enjoying changing our garden to suit our family".

He's a cheeky git OP and I'm sure the rest of your neighbours are well aware of that.

And keep an eye on his passive aggressive behaviour - spraying water at your washing isn't on. I'd be tempted to casually drop in that you're putting in a higher fence to stop any 'accidental' water coming into your garden.

Ignore him. It's your garden and you can do what you want with it.

It is a shame that some neighbours are really not easy to get along with but others are. As others have said, some people are really resistant to changes in the status quo. I've generally been lucky with my neighbours throughout the years as they've all been really lovely and we've always got along like a house on fire, or at least been civil, considerate and courteous. However my current neighbour hasn't spoken to me for the last couple of years for a similar reason to yours.

There is a 4ft wall between our gardens that belongs to him and he's allowed ivy to grow all over it so it spills over onto my side. Most of the time I'm not bothered by it but once or twice a year I have to cut it back as it gets tangled in the tall plants and bushes that I have growing near the wall on my side. A couple of years ago the ivy was so thick and tangled that I had to also trim back the plants on my side just to get rid of it and start over again. Neighbour didn't like that as it meant I could then see into his garden and he into mine. He then tried to intimidate me by saying he was going to take me to court for damaging his ivy and cutting it without his permission (unfortunately in trimming down my side I had to cut through some really thick stems that have caused the plant on his side to die back a little because they were 'doubling back' over to his side) so I just kept telling him that I'm perfectly within my rights to cut down any plants that are overhanging my boundary and I'm certainly allowed to cut down my OWN plants. To date I've not received any of the threatened court summons and he hasn't spoken to me since (which is quite nice actually)

So yes, just ignore your neighbour and enjoy your garden.