My Compost Heap Hell

[IDidntChoseThePondLife]

Hi there, I have a new compost heap in our new garden. It's one of those black plastic ones with a lid and it's in a shady part of our garden.
In it, are loads of veg peelings, grass, pulled up plants, coffee grouts and uncooked veg/fruit waste.
I opened the lid yesterday and saw the hugest slug I have ever seen, and got a face full of fruit flies. [scream]
I was hoping for friable compost, it has been 3 months after all .
I worry that I have just created a massive salad bar for slugs, rather than anything else. Is there anything I can do to speed it up?
It's hot in there and smells sweet, so it should be doing it's thing, but a lot of the material in there is quite large, and I don't want to empty it all out and cut it up.
Have you got any quick tips for me?
thanks

3 months is too soon.

Shred some newspaper and put on top. Keep it damp (not wet) and vary your input. Add grass clippings, leaves, newspaper etc as well as vegetable peelings. It sounds like it needs bulk like fallen leaves?

I think you probably need more carbon stuff so shredded paper and card, brown leaves etc and keep turning it over for aeration.
learn.eartheasy.com/articles/how-to-fix-a-soggy-compost-pile/#:~:text=A%20soggy%20compost%20pile%20is,rich%20and%20nitrogen-rich%20materials.&text=But%20over%20winter%2C%20the%20new,and%20have%20high%20moisture%20content.

The stuff on the top will be the least composted, especially if you're not turning the material. There should be a hatch or something at the bottom for when you're ready to get some compost out, that's the best place to see if it's actually composting.

Move it to the sunniest spot in the garden.
Add shredded newspaper, cardboard etc.
Add human urine, if you can face it, or dregs from beer cans and wine bottles, and add some soil from the garden,or weed-free compost.

OP, slugs are not a problem, just use gardening gloves. And leave it for 9 months to a year. Also bear in mind that snakes like compost heaps, especially if they are near a pond, so always bang on the lid a couple of times before you take the lid off.

As I learned to my cost a couple of years ago

No rats yet then?

How do I get rid of the rats?

And do NOT pour a gallon of left over flat cider into your compost heap, unless you want to create a sanctuary for wasps... [embarrassed]

Who has a gallon of flat cider? [hic]

I'm tempted to go to the park to walk around in shade of the trees but I'm scared it might be full of adults doing their PT and Rottweilers.

@MikeUniformMike

More cardboard, not too many grass clippings, leave it longer. MIne takes about 9 months to a year. But its in a not very sunny spot.

I rip up newspaper - it's one that uses compostable inks - when I'm bored, just to keep my hands busy. Most of the garden clippings go in.
Weeds go into a bucket until they have decayed, then they go in.
Nettles and comfrey speed things up too.

If you get a compost tumbler you will be less likely to get rats etc. You will also get your compost much faster.

We had a colony of bees in ours. Built a huge nest. Saw them buzzing around, gingerly opened lid and . Be(e) watchful for that, too!

No rats so far (thank god) but one of my young froglets hangs arround there. I'm hoping when he's bigger he'll defeat the slug-lord and all it's minions.

I actually don't mind wildlife, and buit a lock-down pond to encourage it but the size of the slug was pretty shocking and no, i'm not going to take a photo for you.

I will be patient and wait until nature has run it's course. I didn't have room for a tumbling composter, but hopefully my humble static one will do the trick. I also don't want to be sloshing alcohol or pee over it as worry that my garden oasis will start smelling like a pub toilet.
As for the hatch at the bottom, I noticed a potato shoot peeking out of it yesterday, so i don't think it's even nearly ready yet.

Do you think that leaving it in a loose pile in the heap is best, or maybe I should try to compress it all with a board or something?
Thanks so much for all of your help - much appreciated!

Loose pile is best. Are you turning it regularly? That will keep air going through it and keep things like potatoes from sprouting.

I’m poking it with a stick @DorotheaHomeAlone not really turning it, it’s quite tall and I can’t get the fork into it to turn it.

Irresistible thread title.
You need to balance your green (grass, weeds, veg peel etc) and your brown (card board, newspaper, wood chip etc).
We've got an open pile and a 'dalek', and rotate and aerate both regularly. Male DP pees in a pot and sprinkles over both (female pee not so good). Sunny position is better.

Should add, took temperature of dalek compost last month using a jam thermometer with a long 'stick' to get right in. It measured 68°C!

We just got a ‘hot composter’ via our local council which even composts meat and bones and dog poo , not that I’ve tried the latter. It’s rodent proof too and I’m hoping will make a difference in this heat as don’t like food waste in our normal rubbish after finding maggots!

If you have fruit flies, it is probably too acid. Garden lime can help.

We have a hot bin and last year it was excellent. This year it's gone all smelly and wet. it also needs more dry stuff we know but we're persisting and no luck yet.

but the size of the slug was pretty shocking I saw worse on Thursday - giant black slug, whose tail was being eaten by a large black beetle. Slug tried to "run" away without success. So then he resorted to crawling around in a circle to coat him and the beetle in slime. Beetle was trying to climb up slug's back to get a more tender mouthful, but kept slipping off because of the slime. I got a couple of photos but didn't wait to see the final result.

Best thread title ever

crikey MereDintofPandiculation that sounds terrible. Nightmare-haunting even. I'm trying very hard not to picture that horrific scene.

I was looking at the pet bedding straw in Sainsbury's this morning and wondering whether to buy some for The Heap, but then I thought that I would let nature take it's course and see what we're left with in the spring.

If I see the Slug-Lord again I will take a photo and post it, maybe with a warning for the squeamish.

One of these for turning your compost.
garden.jardinitis.com/metal-aerator-flower-bd945/?otcountry=GB&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrn5BRB2EiwAZgL9ovBFaFmkwxO4H08F3Jutr2GsCZCbMKssI72K_En99epwLKQbm8_n_RoC0c0QAvD_BwE
Vid of how easy it is here