What is this plant and will it do anything interesting ?

[Binterested]

I had my garden done two years ago and the gardener planted these. They are low plants - in a shady spot. But they do nothing and they don’t seem particularly attractive. Can anyone tell me what they are and are they about to produce beautiful blossoms? Or are they just boring green things?

I don't know the answer, but yours is the best thread title I've read in quite a while. Bravo!

Could be dahlias. They form very pretty flowers. If they are, slugs and snails will love them.

It’s a pachysandra, I think. It’s great fluorine cover for shade and will have pretty white flowers.

• ground cover

Japanese spurge? I think it can have little white flowers. I got some for under a tree as it is supposed to be tough ground cover where Things don’t grow but tbh mine isn’t doing much either!

What glub said! That’s the proper name. Cross post

Oh thank you. You are all v clever. No flowers in two years but maybe I’ll give it a temporary reprieve and see if it wants to pull it’s sock up this year

Would you be able to answer another what is it question ? What’s this and what’s eating it ?

That looks like a laurel to me?

Not a clue, but just wanted to echo PP who said what a fab title - I am a little disappointed with the plant though....

You mean like Triffids were interesting?

I’m very new to gardening (oh really Bint - we couldn’t tell)

@YetAnotherSpartacus

You mean like Triffids were interesting?

@Binterested - start planting some stuff you can eat - it's much more fun :)

Pachysandra will "perform "😉 for you if planted in damp, acid soil with a lot of shade, so a good woodland plant. It's an inoffensive plant but does sometimes take a while to get going.

Not laurel, but possibly Skimmia for the second one.

The second one is Skimmia Japonica. It has lovely berries in the autumn.

And scented flowers in early spring.

But only berries if it's either a female plant with a male in the vicinity, or the variety that sets berries regardless.

Oh thank you. Yes it is Skimmia - I’ve looked it up now so definitely that. Thank you. I guess I’ll have to spray it to get rid of the bugs that are eating it

I'm not sure growing white flowers is interesting, tbh that's a very plant like thing to do.