Memory planter - new gardener

[divvintbelieveit]

Hi All,

Early last month my son was born sleeping.

I have just bought a wishing well planter for my garden which I would love to grow plants in and use as a bit of a quiet place to go to think of him.

There's one issue. I don't know the first thing about gardening!!!

Any tips or hints? What kind of plants should I be looking for? Do I need to buy anything else to put them in?

And finally, would a water feature work with it?

Many thanks in advance!!!!

Anyone

Hi. I'm not great at gardening either but one of our local garden centres provides a service where you take your pots/tubs etc to them and then they fill them for you. You can have input regarding colours, level of maintenance, etc. This might be worth a go to begin with.
Sorry for your loss.

I live in a flat so don't really have a private garden so this is what we did for our Baby. Our Baby's remains are planted inside the heart shaped pot. Although not being very green fingered myself the flowers we were trying to grow didn't make it which is why we've now got an artificial rose in there instead. Put some potpourri on top of the soil too. For our other Baby who's due date was last August I planted some gladioli bulbs and put some little garden ornaments inside the pot. unfortunately again they didn't grow properly although some kids dig start digging around in it

Hi. I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think you might struggle to get that planter to a garden centre and get it home again once filled. I can't work out how it's constructed. Is it a big tub with a smaller bucket hanging above it? Is it going in a sunny or shady spot in the garden? I'd suggest choosing some permanent plants to give it some structure (such as low-growing rosemary, which is traditionally associated with remembrance) and then seasonal bedding to add some colour in summer and winter.

Sent it too soon. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you find comfort in making a memory garden for your beautiful little Boy. Would you like to talk to us about him and tell us his name?

Colourful Pansies or Fuschias or Geraniums would look nice.

Something colourful that drapes over the edge would like nice, like a trailing lobelia

Thanks all!

Yes - it's one bit pot, and one smaller hanging basket. With it being quite deep, I'm not really sure how to fill it.

I just know I want it to be as colourful as possible and something I can keep on top of as often as possible and in my head it means I'm spending time with him (I'm sorry if that sounds silly).

I was thinking as his birthday is in spring, each year I could start replanting to celebrate another year?

@Lozz22 I love the idea you have kept the little ones remains with you. We get his ashes back in the next few days and I'm at a bit of a loss to know what to do with them but I really like that idea

And sorry - to answer your last question, his name is Benjamin. I was induced as we found out his heart stopped beating despite me being seen as a low risk pregnancy. We are still waiting to find out what caused him to die, but they think it was an infection of some sort. He has an older brother who talks about him everyday

That doesn't sound silly at all.

If you want colour and want to tend it frequently, then bedding plants are a good idea. You could add daffodil or tulip bulbs, as they flower at this time of year. None of these things need very deep soil, so you could put a layer of broken-up polystyrene packaging (or upturned flowerpots) at the bottom of the big container and then fill it up with compost.

@FromIbizaToTheNorfolkMaud that's the kind of advice I need! I was thinking "how on earth am I going to fill it without buying mountains of compost". That's great tip, thank you.

Also loving the sound of tulips and the earlier advice of low growing rosemary (I googled ).

I also like the pansies suggested by someone else too.

Benjamin is lovely name. If we'd had our own garden I would've liked to have planted a rose tree or something and planted our Little Bean's remains underneath it instead. Our Baby would've been due next month. I miscarried just before I found out I was Pregnant again so must've caught on again straight away. That Baby would've been due this month. We've had 4 losses in total but it's only the most recent one we were able to keep his or hers remains because I was a lot further along then my previous pregnancies. I often just sit down by my fire place and talk to Little Bean or sometimes sit and read a story or play somewhere over the rainbow because I would sing that to my bump when I was Pregnant. Our other 3 do have proper names just gender neutral. I was thinking of a name for Little Bean but my Other Half said he liked it so much because it was the name we used when he or she was in my tummy and that's what we'd call them when talking them so Little Bean will be forever known to us as our Little Bean

You're very welcome!

Gardening is good for mindfulness. It's helped me get through some dark times and I hope it will help you too.

I would also go for bright things like geraniums: hot pink and red colours. And something trailing like a trailing lobelia. Maybe some mini petunias in hot colours too.

In winter perhaps a little trailing ivy or tiny fit trees, some cyclamen or little ever green plants with berries.

Lots of water every day is the key to it. And yes some draining of broken polystyrene at the bottom.

Lovely way to remember Benjamin. Xxx

You could add a little seasonal decoration too: maybe a pretty Easter egg decoration in spring or some mini baubles in winter. Might be nice things for his brother to “share” with Benjamin.

So sorry to hear about Benjamin. We have two planters in memory of our two who didn’t make it.

I would recommend a mixture of plants. Some bulbs to come up each year, some evergreens for structure (love the idea of rosemary from pp, the smell is gorgeous) and some space for bedding plants that you could replace twice a year if you wanted to for spring and autumn colour.

We planted shrubs that would flower at the time of our loss, but we didn’t factor in that everything flowers earlier in the garden centre. So if you’re looking for a set time of year just be careful- eg tulips are just coming out now in the garden, daffodils have been out for a while. Our magnolia is way off flowering.

Forget-me-Not’s are one of my favourite and will self-seed around the bottom of other plants. You can remove them if they spread too much but they would fill any gaps between plants.

Bear in mind that you might move house one day, or your planter might eventually fall apart. Bulbs and shrubs can be moved or cuttings can be taken, so your memory garden can last for decades. If you only do annual (bedding) plants then it’s harder to take something with you if you move.

@Lozz22 thank you for sharing .

We were actually given some seeds to plant and the only reason I'm not going for something permanent like a tree is because our house is for sale so I thought this way, I can start something now and take it with me.

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses to and I'm pleased you've found a way of remembering all of your beautiful babies.

@WearyandBleary I love the idea of seasonal stuff.

I was actually saying earlier to my mum if my little gardening mission fails, at least I can have some sort of ornamental remembrance for him and my older son will love helping me look after Benjamin's little garden.

Thank you so much for the tips.

@peajotter thank you and I'm sorry to hear of your losses too. I love that you've done similar for yours, it makes me feel a bit less mad!

We expect our well planter to arrive in the next two weeks. I'm not really sure how I'm going to source all I need given everything going on at the minute. Do you have anything you'd recommend if I were to start in May/June?

I know someone said further up that garden centres can help if you tell them what you want but I really want to start from scratch on my own. I feel like it's a nice little project for me while being close to him

So sorry for your loss.
Your project is a lovely idea. I would agree that trailing Geraniums And lobelia would be a good idea and possibly Begonias. Begonias and Geraniums are easy to look after as long as you remove the faded blooms.
Try to get them on line now, as small plants and keep them indoors until the night frosts have gone, around the end of May.

As your wishing well has a roof you will have to make sure you water regularly, even after rain. I’m sure it will look lovely, please post another photo when you’ve planted it all up.

Thanks @Beebumble2. Begonias are lovely!

Thank you for the advice, I'll have a look into ordering now and see what I can get my hands on.

I'll definitely be updating with my progress, I can't wait for it to arrive

These are pretty - gardenseedsmarket.com/creeping-zinnia-seeds-sanvitalia-procumbens-570-seeds.html

Hi OP. I have a son Ben also and am very sorry for your loss .I think your idea is lovely and will bring you a lot of solace. I am a complete eejit gardener, but you cant go wrong with geraniums and begonias and they will flower well into late autumn. Two tips. Make sure your compost is almost up to the top level of your planter so when you plant the little plants they are not sitting down low in it.looks way better when they bloom.
You must deadhead the spent flowers very regularly to keep them flowering, maybe every two to three days.
Chrysanthemums are actually lovely too and very easy to grow and flower for a long time.
There is a lot of peace and contentment to be gained from growing things,nature is very soothing.

Thank you @Moviestar for the tips. I have some geraniums as part of my selection! I picked some up when I went to Sainsbury's for our shop.

My wishing well will be delivered tomorrow I'm excited to get started. Although I think I need to plant indoors first.?

Im no expert, i think in May you would normally plant up your summer bedding. I don't even know whats in the shops because I haven't been in a shop in 3 weeks.I think once the last frost is done youre ok so not this week anyway as frost due.
If you bought plants maybe pop out in the sunshine during the day but indoors at night for a week or so anyway.

We have progress in some pots!