What can I do to make this nice

[smellycandle]

I have a garden in a very sorry state. What can I do on a small budget to make it pretty?
Within a couple of weeks it will be completely full of weeds again! It is south facing.
Does anyone have any idea about the cost to make it level, at the moment it slopes, higher at top right. I don't mind if it's not 100% flat but a bit more even would be nice!
I'm thinking of putting Astro turf down the back and far right areas and flowers/veg on the mud near path.
I don't want to spend an absolute fortune but just want it to be nice.
I also have trouble watering as have no outside tap and I live in on 1st floor of a very tall townhouse. Although I'm trying to find a connector for a hose to hang out of my kitchen window which is on 3rd floor from the ground.
Thank you for

... thank you for any advise in advance!

Look at it as an opportunity not a challenge! 😉😊
I am not a fan of AstroTurf so I would look on FB, Gumtree local pages etc for free flagstones for the back.
Actually which ever area gets the sun when you are at home is best for a seating area.
Do the same for pots and containers.

Get some seeds, you can directly sow runner beans, French beans, squash, courgettes, beetroot, salad, sweet corn at the moment as well as flowers, nasturtiums are so colourful.
Beans will look great climbing up a bamboo teepee.
Poundland have plants that aren't always neglected if you are lucky

Gardens that are open to the public through the National Gardens Scheme often have plants for sale at bargain prices
Good luck with it all xx

I wouldn’t worry about levelling apart from for a patio area at the bottom of the stairs. I would remove all the weeds add some decent topsoil and place stepping stones or pavers around the area to make a winding stepping stone path and then plant shrubs.
Seating area at the bottom of the stairs with some planters of bedding for instant colour.

how do you want to use it?

sit out?
BBQ with friends?
just look out of the window at it?
grow veg?

That will dictate quite a lot.

Overall, I would be tempted to level it, put down the black sheeting stuff, and a load of gravel, and then plant a few key plants through the gravel, eg a some lavender, a rosemary bush etc.
and create a sitting area.
Maybe grow a clematis up the fence.

perhaps keep a bed to the right, and fill it with veg, if you like veg.

Where does the path go to? do you need to keep it?

It would all be much easier if you could water, although once established most plants should be fine, you would need to water veg

best way to level is just get a spade and do 1 hour at a time, shifting the soil from back corner and spreading it over the rest. That should get it level enough to put down some flags for seating etc

Lot of potential in there!
I would definitely plant done climbing plants next to the wall.
Would do some veggie as well.

Oh the watering problem- I would pop out there few larger barrel and used them as rain barrel to gather water for garden- I'm sure it wouldn't take long in this country.😅

Something like this. Plus rain water is really good for plants, way better then tap one.;)

AstroTurf will be expensive, and should really be laid on a prepared and smooth base, otherwise it will get damaged, although I can see why you would like it re lack of maintenance etc.
I can think of lots of things to do with your garden, but none of them would be cheap! For me the best option would be paving with a seating area and some raised beds. Would there be some more money available in the future?
To keep the weeds down you have two options. You could cover the soil with black plastic sheeting, or of course you could just keep going out and hoe it weekly. I would certainly get rid of that rough looking clumpy grass to the right of your steps.
A cheap option for now, thinking about it, would be to cover it in bark chippings. This would also stop weed growth. You could leave some area at the edges for planting.
It has the potential to be really lovely in time. The only other thing I would say is get the basics done first. The landscaping is more important initially, the fun bit, like planting, comes later.

I'd agree the question is what do you wish to do with it?

It could be a lovely area for sitting out, but it seems you just wish it to look nice from the window with minimum maintenance, but you don't intend to use it?

If you would like to use it, then what for, it's a great space and could be a fab little "secret" garden". But of course much depends on budget.

I don't know your budget but if you want to keep it simple you could do some floor decking to sit outside
www.ikea.com/gb/en/products/tools-fittings/outdoor-floors/
Grass seeds for the rest and a few hydrangea at the sides for low maintenance color. I love hydrangea, you only have to prune them in march and that's it. They bloom for months on end.

Honeysuckle (2 for £3 for Morrisons) against the stone wall, remove weeds, cover in top soil and chuck over sweet alyssum and cornflower and California poppy seeds would my suggestion.

Looking at it, and knowing what our garden cost to level and have 6 ft fencing put up was £5 but our garden is larger. I would looking at the picture, use the natural lines you have so the soil I would dig and treat for weeds, lay down black garden sheeting and pebble/woodchip it. You can the add pots and plants as you like. Then look to raise or repave the smaller part by the stairs for a bench.

5k not £5!

I think I would put tarpaulin over some of it at the moment to prevent weeds and lay some real grass in the autumn. Astro turf is horrible. Maybe choose one section to improve the soil and plant so it’s not too big a job initially. I would also think about growing some climbing plants up the fences. You could plant a climbing Rose now?

Bark chippings help reduce weeds but won't stop them. As you are on a limited budget I would put something down to suppress weeds on part of it and start with just one section ( but with an overall plan in mind.) Can you get hold of a load of old cardboard boxes? Cardboard (especially several layers) works really well as a weed suppressant while you are deciding what to do ( you need to weigh it down with bricks/stones or peg it down with the pegs you use for the black anti weed fabric) You could then cover it in chipped bark or if you have a local tree surgeon, they may give you a load of wood chippings for free.
The advantage of this over the black plastic weed suppressant is that it will slowly rot down and start improving the soil while suppressing the weeds and it costs hardly anything.
Next decide what you want to be beds/ plants and what you want to be other flat surfaces eg paving, grass, paths etc.
Start with one section of flowerbed at a time. Decide how much time you want to spend gardening ( eg low maintenance shrubs vs full on herbaceous border) and plan plants accordingly.
I love hydrangeas too, but wouldn't only plant those but mix with other things that give flowers/ colour at other times of the year.
Start with one section of bed and develop slowly as you have time/money. Church fairs/ fetes can be good for cheap plants from other gardeners. Be nosy and look at other people's gardens and spot things you like the look of. Ask a keen gardening neighbour if they know what type and pH the soul is as some things will struggle to grow in some soils.

Maybe some pea gravel, some nice pots and a few climbing plants for walls, a small bistro table and you are away! Pea gravel is of course easy to put down and pretty cheap and low maintenance!

Many thanks to everyone for your advise!
I don't want to spend a lot as I share with the lady downstairs who has no interest in helping towards maintenance or cost and I have a private balcony that I have made nice for myself where I can bbq etc. It's also a rented property so not really worth it.
If I were to shift the soil myself to try and level I'm not sure what would support the new higher areas???
I think sheeting and gravel could be the solution here for now!
Thanks again everyone

Yes, sheeting and gravel or just bark. Then put in a bench or table and seats and a few pots - some evergreens, some flowers. Could look lovely quite easily and you can take your seating and pots when you move.

Perhaps wildflower seeds then?
No need for sheeting, topsoil, bark, gravel etc.
They love crappy stony soil and they are super cheap, no maintenance.

But you still need to prepare the ground to get wildflowers to grow and the weeds will also rapidly grow among the flowers which would not look very nice

Don’t wildflowers grow best in extremely poor, stony, sandy soil?

Yes to getting rid of the weeds first.

They don't need fertile soil, but you would still need to rake the soil over to a fine-ish tilth before sowing and make sure it stays moist. Scattering on hard dry ground will mean most of them won't grow.
I think there are currently too many weed/grass roots still in the ground for this to work well without a lot of effort.
As the place is rented, I think the cheapest thing to do would be to peg down layers of cardboard and then cover with chipped wood from a tree surgeon. Then get some large pots planted up for colour. You could even get a cheap slot together raised bed from somewhere like home bargains to plant out veggies or flowers. Euonymus comes in a variety of pretty variagated leaves and is quite cheap and would give a nice evergreen backbone to planting.

Thank you everyone, You're all coming up with great ideas!

I love astroturf but reckon it would look rubbish because I'm not prepared to do new paving etc.
It is absolutely horrible soil, very dry, constantly full of debris/rocks although all my surrounding neighbours are lovely and can't imagine them chucking rubbish over the fence! Massive weeds that I dug out all last summer and were waist height again by winter. I'm hoping I got the last of the really thick rooted ones.
I'm going to leave the section by the path for veg/flowers and add topsoil (whatever that is) and see how I get on with that. If you saw my other post I've managed to kill my lavender!
I need to up my game on my potted plants skills!