Please help me camouflage this monstrous shed

[smashedinductionhob]

we tried for some years to just "blot out" this builder's shed when it appeared on the border with our small garden. That hasn't worked, not least because builder neighbour hates ivy and climbers generally. So I have pulled down previous attempts.

I am posting photos straight on and also from what used to be my secluded non-overlooked spot nearby.

I think a small tree is best. Something that branches out neatly at the height of the top of the wall. What do you think? It needs to be neat because he likes neat stuff and doesn't hack at it.

The shed really is this orange, by the way :(

Please could you recommend a small tree?

I wondered in all seriousness if I should get something with orange flowers. I thought pink cherry blossom would clash.

Please help.

Not a tree, but a neighbour has Japanese quince which looks good and stands erect.

That's a pain They are expensive but if budget allows what about one of those pleached trees on a frame so you still get the space in the garden but screening at the height you need it ? If you go down the flowers route maybesomethimg with a white blossom.

Thank you for replying.

I had not heard the term preached. Off to google.

It's pleached I think. The stem is clear, will see if I can find a picture

Sorry, pleached.

Auto correct!

I'm having problems linking but 'pleached hornbeam tree' should do it. I think they do some evergreens that way too.

Thought it might have autocorrected

He has also pulled the coping stones off centre over to his side so I need the branching to be at the coping stone level.

I should go measure heights shouldn't I? Heights of wall and disgusting trump-like shed.

He sounds a bit of a nightmare

Thanks for replying. There was a beautiful tree there before the monster shed..... but it can be nice again....

He is. I've on mumsnet 10 years and I've never posted on it. I just find it too upsetting.

Thanks for the support. We shall overcome!

I have one of those too. Came out one day and he had cut down over 20 foot of my hedge to nothing. I did post and complain loudly on one of the gardening threads. I have had my revenge though as after he did that I discovered that some of the very tall conifers turn out to be mine after all so mentioned to him I'm thinking of removing them. He went a bit pale and every now and then I parade tall pruners along where he can see them then await the anxious scurrying noise it brings in from his side of the fence. Childish but it amuses me as he was an utter arse.

Op, how tall roughly is the shed? If it's taller than an a normal shed he may need Planning for it. Did he get planning permission?

Oreo thanks but that ship has sailed IYSWIM

So, I need the tree/standard to split off at 1.5m and be 3m high.....

Ideas?

You imply that he didn't get planning permission.
Should he have? Or was it granted retrospectively?

If you go to a decent nursery / garden centre there are loads. I would google "tree" then position first eg sunny west facing (workout which compass side it faces). Do you want it to be evergreen? Have fruit / berries/ blossom? A eucalyptus is silvery grey grows quickly, may cover quickly. Pay a bit more and get a focal point eg a tall columnular blossom tree. You could even forget a tree, have a corner pergola and grow evergreen honeysuckle over it. Think about where the sun is - if you put a shady tree in the only piece of sun you'll be fed up with it therefore try trellis and climber.

Sorry reread - not a climber. A rowan tree may be nice, or Amelanchier? Columnar blossom tree? Magnolia? All pretty focal points. You could even have a small weeping willow. Or a large evergreen flowering shrub.

Thank you!

We have been to the garden centre and come back with a prunus and a malus -will have fun deciding which one(s) goes there!

Wish us luck.

Lovely choices! I think once you have something you love in front, that shed will recede into the background and you'll no longer have it inflicted upon you!

A line of pleached trees would be lovely there I think.

Thanks so much for understanding, it means a lot.