book - I agree with you about the house. I don't think I could cope with a bigger one than my tiny and very cheap current house, and not will it be necessary once I have found space for more books
. Plus, I'm at the limit of boredom with indoor chores as it is.
But I do have eyes that are far, far bigger than my trowel when it comes to gardening and land!! Yet in reality I know that you are wise and right - I am probably at the limit of what I can manage with an allotment and my garden - which is probably, what, less than a quarter of an acre in total?
However, I do think that most of us are gardening on the land we have in a way that is very, very intensive - I suspect that were I somehow to be gifted an acre (never gonna happen, so we are now firmly in fantasy land), I would manage parts of it far less intensively, making it more do-able. But maybe I am just being over-optimistic about how low low maintenance gardening would be!
funny - I've seen pictures of your garden and I don't think you can be classed as any kind of failure. It is wonderful. I am not sure that having a huge house can really be a life goal either - at the end of the day, however much property wealth someone has, and however securely it is tied up, they're just a brief tenant on it, the same as the rest of us. 
For GW - unless I am misremembering, Joe Swift has a small garden - in London, though, I imagine, so it may not be a "cheap" house after all!! One person I'd really like to see on there is Mark Diacono. He's young, energetic, funny, and a smallholder somewhere in the SW (Otter Farm).