Neighbour has replaced her fence (our border) with low wire fence!

[Missingcaffeine]

So we get on very well with our next door neighbours but they have just taken down their solid 5 ft fence and replaced it with a low 2 ft wire fence. It's our border, but they are responsible for that fence. We have lost all our privacy and I'm now sat in my lounge and can be seen by the neighbours. I don't want to fall out with them, but it has really upset me. I know we can put a fence up our side, but I think that will cause conflict and it would also cost us a lot as it is a long garden. I'd be happy with a trellis/plants - just something to give us some privacy.
They have done it because they have a long narrow garden and want to use our garden to make theirs feel wider - so they are not boxed in. Our garden is much wider, so this would not be an issue for us.
Has this happened to anyone else?
Does anyone have any suggestions of good plants that would give us some privacy, but not cost crazy amounts and are relatively easy to maintain? I'm pregnant and had a toddler - so haven't got much time to maintain the garden but also need to be a bit frugal with money right now! I want to be able to breastfeed and walk around in my pyjamas in my house without feeling self-conscious that my neighbours can see me!

I so don't get why you are considering your NDN's feelings when all she has done has gratified hers, i.e. to want to look into your garden.

Put up any fence that gives you the privacy you want. Do not apologise, do not explain. Do not forewarn; you don't need to do this as you are putting up a barrier on your side.

Should she ask, after the event, say this is what we want.

Aah maybe I'm soft ( or possibly had life easy enough to allow me to be ) but I honestly think one should always consider the feelings of others .Even when they seem not to reciprocate .

It's really worth trying to preserve relations with neighbours ,strained is better than hostile .

I think this is the sort of screening a pp is talking about.

That sort is used a lot round my way .It looks good initially but seems to deterioate quickly and then ,sadly ,looks rather dark ,shabby and tatty

Willow seems a bit more robust ,though not to my personal taste .

Since you have width, I would plant a number of plants that are quite dense at the back of the border by the fence. Not a hedge as such, but a number of trees and shrubs that will give you the same level of cover eventually (mostly to 6ft or so but perhaps with some small trees too above that height) but with a less uniform, more variegated effect. Basically, it would be a dense back of border area behind your flowers in front.

While it's not an immediate solution, that could be an advantage in maintaining neighbour relations. It would take 3-5 years for the plants to get to full height, softening the impact on your neighbour. Sometimes the slower rate of natural growth with its almost imperceptible yet relentless rate of development can accustom people to something being there, whereas planting at full height straight away may elicit protests!

Always keep in with your neighbours - rule number one in my book.

But did you read the thread at all?

I think put some cheap bamboo screening for the first few panels worth up asap - jest to your neighbour "I'm sure no-one wants to see me half naked feeding a newborn"

I would put some trellis up further along and then you can plant things that will slowly grow up and not immediately block their view and cause grief.

I second RandomMess, put up bamboo screening asap, before they get used to seeing the expanse of the garden, the panels like in the picture above in the thread are only 12-15 quid in Poundstretcher, and you can basically staple gun it to some random sticks of wood which you could push deep in the ground. Just do a few panels for now, and go and dig up some free buddleia growing by a road ;), it grows incredibly quickly! I didn't know what it was when I saved a shoot growing from underneath a concrete tile, and planted it (one foot long in the spring). By the end of summer it was 6 ft high.
But they don't provide enough screenage in the winter! Also not that pretty and possibly a bit invasive (though ours just stays in the corner and doesn't seem to spread at all, only upwards).

I think if you plant stuff which takes ages to grow, they will just pester you to shorten/trim down the new plants once they start gaining height and blocking "their" view, they will be too used to the illusion of space by then. At least they can't ask to trim down bamboo or willow panels!

www.rhs.org.uk/Plants/12869/Phyllostachys-nigra/Details

This is the stuff. Clearly we had the right kind of soil and sunlight in London for the stuff to take off.
It was fairly confined where it was planted but after about 3 years it suddenly seemed to go mad with shoots appearing 3 feet away. It seems to lurk underground all year and then it would grow 10 inches a day in May topping out around 7ft and then stopping for another year when a new shoot or 10 would appear. I dread to think what it could do in a large garden if just planted out.

For context the link above also calls it clumping in 2.5 to 4 metres.... Obviously I'm conditioned by tiny London gardens but that's a sodding great big clump if it's 4 metres in diameter.

Cultivation
Grow in fertile, humus-rich, moist but well-drained soil, in full sun or partial shade. Protect from cold drying winds. In a container grow in a loam-based compost and feed with a balanced liquid fertiliser on a monthly basis during the growing season. May remain clump-forming in poor or dry soils but can become invasive in warm, moist or favourable conditions.

It did make the most fantastic swishing noise in the wind though, v relaxing like being by the sea. Constant sweeping of the leaves though even though it was evergreen they are constantly regenerating.

OP, if you google contemporary fencing you will get some nice ideas for both horizontal and vertical fencing particularly the slated kind which have an open appearance.
Problem is, it doesn't sound like your neighbour has either the means or the inclination to put up a proper fence.

With small children I would be really unhappy with a wire fence. I think the first step is to say that you are really not happy with it as it stands and you want some sort of fencing reinstated.

The alternative is also to speak to a half decent local garden centre. Some of them will send a garden designer out free of charge to do a consult. They will put a plan together for you and a list of plants which you will hopefully buy from them.

Ooh, TreadSoftly, that's scared me, I was about to go and buy that! Maybe keeping it in huge pots is the answer.

A neighbour did this at the end of our garden and could see directly into our conservatory, after a summer of breastfeeding and naked Sunday's the fence went back up.

Could you plant a couple of Virginia creepers along it? Those things grow like the clappers.

Oh god I would put a fence straight up, no hesitation. How selfish of them! They bought the place with a narrow garden and have no right to make use of yours.

I would just go round and say that you'll be erecting a 6ft close board fence as soon as you have saved up enough money as you need your garden to be secure and private for your children. They cannot possibly take offence at that, if they do then good relations aren't worth having with such nutters.

What about some of these?
http://www.homebase.co.uk/en/homebaseuk/lattice-garden-planter---large-278629?_$ja=tsid:49590%7Ccid:320438656%7Cagid:13692647656%7Ctid:pla-160503962416%7Ccrid:56351646376%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:633293702571156220%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o2&gclid=CIDZ26SegswCFRK3Gwod1ocJ6g]

I would definitely say you want a proper fence for the first 20-50 feet from the house. Maybe put your deck chairs in the garden so you all sit and stare into their house for a bit?

When we moved here people had fences for the first 100feet then wire fence. And some of them had open gardens with no fencing at all at the bottom. Luckily a previous owner of our house had been a dog breeder so we had secure boundaries, but we still have ivy covered wire for the end sections.

And don't forget the appointment you have with the Dogs Trust....the one where they have to come and check your garden is secure enough for the big German Shepherd rescue dog you're considering adopting...........

Funnily enough, after you get the fence up, you'll change your mind about the dog!

Don't use Virginia Creeper unless you want to be pruning and pulling it back on a regular basis. But yes to bamboo in pots.

When we moved into our first house we dug all our bamboo up which had randomly been planted in the middle of a small patio area and replanted it in very large well drained pots. It was frankly tedious to water them constantly and they didn't thrive either getting too much or too little. Our pots were tall and thin [1ft x 1ft at the base and about 4ft tall] and prone to being blown over as the height and density of the bamboo got bigger despite the ballast installed at the base. When I say large pots, I mean LARGE.

DH later admitted to not being able to remove a single piece of root embedded 4 ft down in the subterranean foundation of the wall. By the following summer the sodding bamboo was back literally erupting via a new location 4ft away.

I wouldn't recommend Virginia Creeper either as a low maintenance solution. Tons of leaves to clear in the Autumn though the colour is beautiful.
Evergreen jasmine is quite slow growing and easy to trim. Climbers like that and seasonal climbers work well on contemporary fencing too as there's a semblance of light coming through with foliage in the summer when you want more privacy.
Beech hedging is dense and there is lovely colour and coverage all year around but could take years to achieve what you want unless you can buy mature plants which is always pricey.
I see thornbeam recommended a lot for UK hedging but with any hedge you will need to trim it regularly. I don't personally like buddleia. It always looks so straggly. Great for wild bees etc though.

I would really talk to a garden centre or somewhere like Crocus.co.uk You need to search for plants which are not poisonous to children, too prickly especially beside the house, suit your soil and direction of sun etc etc.

It might be worth remembering that your kids will in time annoy the crap out of your neighbours though. Talking to them every time they want a quiet cup of tea in the garden. There is NO escape. Asking them why their knickers are red when they hang out the washing etc etc. Throw in pets, random balls, water pistols fights, etc etc.

With a baby on the way you will also have lots of visitors this summer. It's very nice to look out on someone else's beautiful garden when it's empty. It's feels very voyeuristic to be out there when you have guests and they are on plain view unavoidably eavesdropping. You might find that they have a rethink about their own privacy when you are always out there with two small children and other mums and babies .

"It might be worth remembering that your kids will in time annoy the crap out of your neighbours though. Talking to them every time they want a quiet cup of tea in the garden. There is NO escape. Asking them why their knickers are red when they hang out the washing etc etc."

Great post tread, and this made me laugh . Every time I go outside, next door's DGS says 'OI!! RACE ME! RACE ME!' and I have to run down to the bottom of the garden, letting him win of course. If I ignore him, he pokes a stick through the hedge and yells at the top of his voice!! It is SO CUTE! But sometimes I have to admit, I do try to sneak out very quietly so I can just have a bit of peace in the greenhouse (where he can't see me!).

Just get a dog, and let it out to shit all over neighbours garden, they'll soon put a fence back up