Weeds

[RavioliOnToast]

How the chuff do I get rid of them??

I'm willing to slaughter everything to get rid of the fuckers

Ha! Two ideas:

1. Get your hoe on. Once you've cleared the garden, keep going out once a week/10 days with a hoe and just gently turning the top of the soil. (Try not to do this before it rains, as anything you uproot may otherwise just get its roots down again and keep on going). I realise this sounds like a total PITA but it really, really doesn't take long at all. And it keeps everything looking great all year, and saves those mammoth bloody sessions pulling out nettles and all sorts with gauntlets.

1. Alternatively, clear the lot then put down a big thick load of mulch (compost/leafmould mixed). You will need at least 2-3 inches minimum, preferably a bit more if you have really been battling this season. The idea is to exclude the light that is necessary for weed seeds to grow. But your plants will love you for it - and the weeds will hate it because they can't grow through it that easily. A thick coating will last 6-12 months before it rots down and is incorporated in your soil (improving the texture and nutrient levels in the process), so a combination of doing this in October and then hoeing over the summer might be the best bet. Some people swear by mulching in the spring, but I have found this makes it difficult to grow those annuals that you scatter straight on the ground. (Though this may just be my stupidity!)

shovetheholly do you think grass cuttings act as a good mulch? (I hope so, I've put quite a lot on my resting asparagus bed!)

I use grass clippings as a summer mulch - they are a great source of nitrogen over the growing season. Provided the layer isn't too thick so that it can dry out, and provided the clippings don't come from longer grass that has seeded (otherwise, you are essentially sowing loads of weeds!) they are really useful. The other caveat would be avoiding mulching with clippings from a lawn that's been treated with lots of chemicals to suppress weeds.

Thanks for that holly, I was getting slightly desperate as we have piles of grass clippings, and horrible infiltrating weeds around my asparagus. I've hoed, cut down the asparagus, and put grass on top of a bit of compost. Im not totally confident the grass wasn't too long and hadn't gone to seed so will have to watch carefully next spring for signs of a lawn on my asparagus! I hate bloody weeds, it's like perpetual outdoor housework.