Chelsea 2015

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I've accepted my garden will never even be 10% as gorgeous as those gardens, but I can dream.

Highlights will be on bbc2 all week I think.

Is anyone going? I've only been once (2001). Came home with a Chelsea pensioner tea towel.

I have to say I am thrilled with the magnificent plants I bought from the gold medal winning show stands in the marquee this year.
I think they will outlive me with any luck!
Yes to the concept of salvaging, especially of the show gardens, and it is also an opportunity to buy plants one wouldn't be able to buy otherwise because the show stand gardeners come from all corners of the UK! One does have to be careful though. For example auricula plugs were on sale for £15 when at a local ngs garden one could have bought an auricula with pot for £2.50.
Then again magnificent chrysanth displays for a tenner!
Did I also say that the local taxi drivers tend to go a circuitous route on the assumption one is not a Londoner and so the fare can cost upto 3 times as much as normal. The home run needs to be carefully thought through if one has plants to carry,

Good tip sugar I will do that.

Hi MyNightWithMaud, I wouldn't call myself an insider - it's just that my husband is a landscape architect and garden designer who has had a number of well received gardens at CFS over the past decade or so.

It's a smallish world, so we also know some other designers and some judges.

I love the buzz of Chelsea (I like Hampton Court in July too, it has a different vibe but it's lovely)

I agree re going earlier in the week. I'm not so keen on Fridays and Saturdays - although you do get the opportunity to buy stuff on the Saturday at the sell off, which is fun.

So as family what do you think of the Chelsea flower show? Is it really that tough for family? In what way is it so different for the family of a garden designer compared to the family of any other hardworking person?

Is that addressed to me funnyperson?

yes

I dont mean it in a nasty way, just interested what with the family of the designer on telly saying they never saw him in May etc.

Yes, we do hardly see him in May. Because of the very short timescale from being allowed on site to the show opening.

The first time he did a show garden I was totally naive and unprepared for the work involved and the amount of time he would be on site during the build up, during the show week, and during the break down. I (stupidly) felt quite sad and resentful. (I don't now, I am aware of what is involved and the commitment needed. I am also incredibly proud of him. It is what it is)

He backed out of a garden one year (had the go ahead from the RHS and a sponsor) as our family circumstances were changing and we both felt he needed to be around to welcome a new addition. So that probably gives you an idea of how full on it is.

I expect it is the same as putting on an exhibition/piece of theatre/trade show.

Pheasant - I often look at the gardeners/landscape architects and think that they must have very supportive families. It looks like the most extraordinary amount of work and the highest level of stress, too. I suspect more so than the other things you mention, actually.

It's only natural to feel a teeny bit resentful at times (while simultaneously incredibly proud) of something that takes someone away that much. I remember seeing Jessica Ennis's Mum on the TV and she said (with such brave honesty): 'I used to think sometimes that she was just really selfish being so focused when she was growing up, and it affected our family really badly at times when she was so driven'. She clearly loved her daughter and was pleased as punch with her gold, but it made me realise that it's not just an individual thing!

It must be amazing to watch an idea come together at every stage, from the first beginnings to the end result.

Well that goes to show that behind at least one great Chelsea Garden is a great Mumsnetter

I agree with Shovetheholly, natural to feel a bit of resentment and pride at the same time, I had a bit of that when DS was tiny and DH had a vaguely high profile job for a short time.

pheasant as a very hard working mum (not a garden designer) my husband and children and parents didnt see a lot of me. They felt they were entitled to my total focussed energy on them the moment i got home (indeed I was always expected to put dinner on the table if I was there and of course to change all nappies) and also of course to my total income. They loved it when I went to concerts (DD still says how lovely it was that I turned up to her school plays and concerts and parents evenings and stuff)
The world of work isnt always kind or forgiving and they never really appreciated that it is a bit of a jungle out there. I didnt mind as it is lovely to be able to provide for and shelter the less strong from harm or distress
Also most of my peers were in the same situation. There is a long working hours culture in the UK together with a culture of accepting that long commutes or working away from home is a routine component of being employed.
I ended up with ulcerative colitis and heart disease and have to take early retirement (which I may not be granted: many of my peers have carried on after heart attacks). I would say that at least half of my peers have heart disease and cancer in their late fifties or early strokes. A significant number have died young. The idea that people (men and women) can keep up this pace into their seventies is laughable. The family cannot accept that the goose who lays golden eggs can become ill.
My point being that whilst I accept that on mumsnet there are a lot of stay at home mums who think they work very hard my own experience is that the family at home have no idea of the stresses and strains of working life in the UK in this century. Some men and women who stay at home want it all and then get upset or divorced if the partner who goes out to work simply buckles under partly due to lack of practical backup from home.
I'm not saying this is you. However I thought Adam Frost's wife on telly wanted to swan around with her horses and children like a footballer's wife in her country home and couldn't accept that he had to be away for May every year and actually put some hard graft in at Chelsea and as far as I could see he was depressed and angry and his work had suffered as a result.
I have neighbours (a young man and wife) who hardly see each other as they both go out to work and their high powered city jobs send them abroad. This is the sad reality of working in the UK these days. It doesn't make it right. On the other hand were the cactus couple who share an interest and both work from home.

I am not sure what the solution is because of the high cost of living.
Please do not feel this is targeted at you personally in any way at all, average families in the UK have a very tough deal atm.

In fact it sounds as though you are supporting your partner though difficult times.
The Joe Swifts of this world, though, have to be looked out for, as they are the type who take advantage of others weaknesses. Far better to get in an au pair for the children for May and travel upto Chelsea every year with your partner to help work the network and have time for yourselves as a couple imo.

I'm suprised at your comments about Adam Frost , funny person . I thought his show garden was lovely . I spoke with two of the trainees who worked with him on the garden and they had the highest praise for him, both professionally and personally .

One lad said that through the homebase project he has found his vocation , he's learned so much and it had been an amazing experience. He told me that he was just drifting through life and his family were worried about him not having any focus - now he's doing a RHS qualification , he said adam showed a genuine interest in him and his career .

I also thought that Frost and his family came across well in the TV coverage and I admire him for being honest about the stresses of his job and for putting his family first for a while .

I understand that you feel that " leaving your children with the au pair " is the right choice for you, but it's not fair to say this is the right thing for every family.

I think you have seriously underestimated how hard people work on chelsea show gardens - most people ( contractors and planters as well as designers ) are working about 14 hours a day and all they want is to grab something to eat and fall into bed at the end of a very long day . It's not the place to have " time for yourselves as a couple " .

Dear funnyperson I am not sure why you assume I don't have a paid job outside of the home. I do.

I have no desire to, what is it, 'swan around with my (er, non existent) horses.'

I don't have an au pair. I do have an eldest daughter with severe SEN and disabilities for whom we find it hard to find childcare.

I answered your queston, which, yes, I did find snipey initially. Sorry, I find your follow up post astonishing, hurtful and rude.

I am outta here.

I'm truly sorry pheasantplucker I am truly sorry to have upset you, as I thought I had made it clear my remarks are not about you. I thought I had made it clear that I thought you were doing fine.

That said, no, my heart doesn't bleed for people working a 14 hour day for a month. I and my colleagues did more than that as a routine throughout the year for decades without publicising it or expecting the sympathy Adam Frost and his wife were going for. Indeed Cameron wants to reintroduce those sorts of draconian hours. Indeed I think I did those sort of hours just recently.
People round here leave at 7 am and return home at 8 or 8.30pm. All through the year all through their lives.
It doesn't make long hours right though.
But, much as I admire Chelsea gardens please dont expect me to think that the designers are elite people more deserving of my sympathy than any other occupation just because- oh dear me- they spend a month of a year working hard.

No one was asking you to have sympathy or suggesting that they are elite . Of course people in many jobs work hard for long hours - cleaners, NHS staff, lorry drivers , factory workers - to name but a few .

I only mentioned the hours because you suggested that chelsea was a good time for a couple to have time for themselves .

And I think pheasant plucker mentioned it because you asked her specifically.

I don't understand why you seem to be picking a fight with PP and making all sorts of sweeping assumptions about her life, which I know for a fact are not true

I thought this was supposed to be a gentle friendly corner of Mumsnet !

PP I don't really know what to say, funnyperson whom I know from the lovely long running potting thread wouldn't have meant to pick a fight or upset you. She is lovely, has worked extremely hard providing for her family 80 hour weeks at least all the time, missed her dcs growing up and is now faced with illness and caring for elderly parents.

The assumptions rightly or wrongly were about Adam Frosts wife and dc's who don't see him in May.

I can only echo what Geoff has said.

There is a thing in UK (or, anyway, English) working culture about long hours. I used to work for an organisation where it was almost a badge of pride among some of the men that their marriages had collapsed because they spent so long at work that their wives seldom saw them. That sort of culture serves us all very badly; not least because (as a generalisation, to which there are of course exceptions on both sides) women are less able to work in that kind of way.

The joy of gardening threads is that they are immune from the sorts of spats that infest other bits of MN. I hope we can continue to chat about all things horticultural.