Non gardeners commenting on my garden

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

My garden is a glorious cottagey tangle of foliage and flowers. It does not just happen; it requires careful plant selection and regular pottering/deadheading/snipping back. But it is my pride and joy, my main creative outlet and, at this time of year, is looking to my eyes, quite breathtaking.

So far this week, various friends and family, none of whom know anything about gardening beyond occasionally planting assorted garish bedding in regimented rows, have commented;

"Of course your sort of garden is just low maintenance, for people who don't like gardening."
"It needs a good hacking back and clearing out doesn't it?"
"Well it's a bit of a jungle, you can't even see any soil."

Obviously everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I would never be so rude as to criticise their pathetic gardening by numbers efforts.

Yes I have lost achilleas too also a lovely dark red scabious. And this year I have no buds on my peonies. What is that all about? Is it related to the mild winter?

Achilleas are short lived perennials anyway, so perhaps the damp winters are doing for them earlier than they would otherwise?

I agree re the Patty's Plum - looks great at the nursery, but it is very difficult to get anything to go with it.

My garden's looking pretty good, but certain plants are being ravaged by slugs (or something, at least). A purple sage, some alstromerias, and an echinacea are just being eaten to extinction.

Most peoples' gardens are horrible and they do not really seem to appreciate proper gardening. Next time you should just say "well yours needs some plants imo, lets agree to differ"

"but I would never be so rude as to criticise"

"Most peoples' gardens are horrible"

Mmmm bit of pot calling kettle black here on this thread, althoug these are comments from two different posters.

The thing is gardens are very personal and subjective.

I have a tumbling slightly wild although cultivated garden, lots of fruit trees, honeysuckle, nut trees and plants to attract wildlife, includinga big nettle patch at the top- left deliberately.

A neighbour on one side has mostly paved his over, athough they still enjoy sitting out lettin the kids play on trampoline etc. They like low maintainance.

My other neighbour is elderly and likes a regimented garden, annuals are in rows, in a sequence, red, blue, red blue . Small lawn neatly clipped. hanhing baskets. She loves her garden.

Who is to say which is the best garden? I don't care for my neighbours gardens, but they probably don't like mine.
Fine. each to their own tastes and functionality.

Live and let live.

Mmmm bit of pot calling kettle black here on this thread, althoug these are comments from two different posters.
Thr difference of course being that i'm airing my general views anonymously on the internet not telling my sil her garden needs work saying it to someone personally

honestly though, those comments are so ill informed they are funny!

Pity their ignorance and despise them

They are rude and ignorant.

Year round green and paving slabs are lazy gardeners.

I love "colourful mess" in gardens, in my type of garden you cant see any soil and there is a mishmash of foliage and colour.

My inlaws and DP (to a degree) just don't get my garden, which is an explosion of lushness with romping roses and huge cranesbills and clematis and other lovely lovely stuff; and the beds are all curves and there is a wild strawberry patch and no bare earth. But they are polite enough not to criticise; similarly I am polite enough to buy plug begonias and mimulas and bizzie lizzies for my MIL for mothers day and nurture them carefully so she can plant them in rows with bare earth between them (that's never seen a spoonful of Organic Matter and is like brown dust) and feed them with Gromore so they bloom tidily. Each to their own.

Please though- let's not judge.

I can't believe some of you are still harpng on about your beautiful gardens and judging others.

You sound like a bunch of WI institute harpies.

Not everyone has the interest/ inclination/money/stability/time/ ability to want such a garden.

"
Year round green and paving slabs are lazy gardeners."

QuintessentiallyQS- what a rude thing to say.

Some of yo girls have too much money and time on your hands. -

How on earth is that a rude thing to say?

Year round green and paving slabs are lazy gardeners.

Nice thing to say then.

maybe easy care. But I could surmise that a person who wants an easy care garden is lazy. There is nothing wrong with being a lazy gardener, not everybody wants to spend their time gardening in all seasons just to ensure it looks good year round, and this you dont have to with ever greens.

Year round green and paving slabs are lazy gardeners.

Damn right - count me in as one of those!
I am lazy, but the previous owners of my garden did some amazing work, of which I am still reaping the benefits.

I do need to tackle it though....year round green and paving slabs seems a very attractive option right now. [lazy]

So the word "lazy" is quite a compliment then?

it was in response to the comments in the op though

one could just as easily say 'low maintenance' or 'uninspired'. Both true.

I have a feeling i would appreciate your garden. Love the cottagey look. And i know how hard work they are. Takes a lot of effort to keep them looking so natural.

There will always be somebody who does not see posts in conjunction with an OPs issue and replies to OP, and take it be personal about their own.

I think that if you're passionate about something, you will judge others, especially if they're judging you. I'm sure that artists judge other people's artworks, and that musicians judge other people's music at times, rather than smiling and saying 'each to his own'. Passion is what makes life vibrant, and very often people who work in one style of art will be strongly reacting against the art forms of the past.

I enjoy gardening and find it therapeutic.Other people's comments don't worry me.

Your garden sounds gorgeous and obviously it requires much more planning than getting some ready grown ,unimaginative bedding plants . But some people through ignorance don't realise this ! Just smile to yourself knowingly and hum , give the impression you don't care .People might try to needle you or wind you up ..usually because they are envious .Show them that their opinion doesn't count as far as your garden goes.Everyone has their own tastes and am sure you don't go criticizing their regimented rows .They sound very bad mannered !

I think your garden sounds fabulous. It actually sounds a lot like my DMum's garden, which I think is amazing. I know just how much time, effort and planning has gone into it though, it's no small project. I wish I had the time an energy to do something similar with ours, but sadly not yet.

Some of yo girls have too much money and time on your hands

Oh the irony of the poster that complains about "judgemental posters" then wades in with a grossly illinformed, sweeping and ignorant statement of their own !

If it's any consolation, OP, I used to work for a couple who had a house in the south of France. The garden of the house was a glorious tangle of well thought out plants, tended by heaven's only knows how many gardeners. The wife (quite rightly IMO) loved it. The husband thought it messy, and wanted it all cut back and a few geraniums planting in neat rows.

Not everybody has the same ides when it comes to gardens.

Would love to see photos of other cottagey gardens, but not out of a magazine! - we are in our 3rd summer of a new house and the garden is looking a bit wild -
I just planted lots of things, eg delphiums picked up from aldi etc but also put in some dwarf conifers, as I didn't want it to look bare over the winter. Also poppies, that have exploded and look beautiful for about a week, but then loose petals and collapse sideways. they are right at the front and I really want to move them.
I think I overplanted, if that's a word-now so many plants have grown and they're falling over each other, but not in a pretty cottagey way.
Should I just chop back what I can and leave any moving plants till the autumn?

Tinkly, your garden sounds lovely, please post photos if you can