Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Gardening

Find tips and tricks to make your garden or allotment flourish on our Gardening forum.

Original poster

…if winter comes, can Spring be far behind? 2014 beckons us...

996 replies

echt · 27/12/2013 10:37

Okay, so the height of summer is yet to scorch the nethers of those in this wide brown land of Orstrylia, but welcome to the MNettie gardeners of the world. Prop up your sagging fences, evict the rats from your decking, and find a use for that poinsettia.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
HumphreyCobbler · 04/03/2014 22:14

That sounds exactly like ds and me when I was little I think children with vivid imaginations often suffer phases like this.

HumphreyCobbler · 04/03/2014 22:14

Oh no, so she is stopping actually doing stuff? That sounds grim.

Blackpuddingbertha · 04/03/2014 22:18

It is Sad

HumphreyCobbler · 04/03/2014 22:20

Can you talk to the GP? How long till you get an appointment with the counsellor?

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 04/03/2014 22:22

I'm afraid I don't have anything useful to suggest about helping children's anxiety. Ah. We made worry dolls at Brownies years ago. Would that help? She could offload her worries to the doll.

::slightly grubby under the fingernails gardener's hug:;

Blackpuddingbertha · 04/03/2014 22:30

Worry dolls sound good. How are they made?

Been to GP to rule out anything medical. Going to make more fuss at school and hopefully speed up counsellor otherwise we'll go private.

Thanks for the grubby hug Smile

Castlelough · 04/03/2014 22:32

Wynken that is fantastic news! What a great project! Grin I hope it all works out well! Grin

Rhihaf I bought gypsophilia in Aldi last year but forgot to plant. Found it recently disintegrated. Think it would be lovely for arranging with other cut flowers!

Lots of lovely plant chat today! Love salvia and vinca (though I've only ever seen the blue kind) and begonias in hanging baskets!
Lots of plants I must go off and investigate now (what IS charabanc?!)

Humph hope DH recovers well from his op. Bertha hope things improve with DD and Rhubarb I'm glad calm has been restored at your place!

Anyone know when is the right time to pot on rose cuttings? I have 6-8 in each pot and a lot of them are growing little stems and leaves now....afraid to disturb them but afraid to leave them too long... they are about 9-10 wks old now...

mousmous · 04/03/2014 22:33

oh dear bertha hopefully it will get sorted soon. poor bean, must be so tough.

a rhubarb question coming up: do I need to put the rootlings (made that word up) under a cloche? planted them saturday, no frost here. little red 'claws' poking out now.

Blackpuddingbertha · 04/03/2014 22:35

Anyone been to Hillier Gardens recently? Thinking of a trip there.

It appears I need wooden pegs for worry dolls. Will search some out.

Castlelough · 04/03/2014 22:36

Sorry Humph I meant to say DSBlush

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 04/03/2014 22:43

I got the pattern for the worry dolls online, from one of the many online craft sites. Essentially they were old-fashioned 'dolly' clothes pegs. We drew on hair and faces with felt pen. Then, we stuck on two half lolly sticks to make arms and clothed the doll by winding wool around the arms and body to make a 'dress'. Does that make sense? I think you can buy the pegs and lolly sticks from Hobbycraft and the like.

Blackpuddingbertha · 04/03/2014 22:47

Thanks Maud. Been Googling, they look fun. If nothing else it'll distract us for a while. Reckon I can do a Monty look-a-like worry doll!

Mousmous, my rhubarb's not protected and it's last years baby plant. It has been out all winter though so maybe yours will need a bit of extra TLC to start with? I think they're pretty hardy.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 04/03/2014 23:04

I hope it might help, Bertha. We didn't have a particular issue with anxiety amongst the Brownies, but they were suggested as something we could do as part of an ongoing theme about healthy lifestyles. They must have meant something to the Brownies, though, as they apparently told their teacher about them during PSHE.

You could stick woolly 'hair' on yours, to imitate Montu's lovely curls.

funnyperson · 05/03/2014 03:03

Poor DD blackpuddingbertha lots of hugs to you and her.
Chatting whilst making dolly/going for a walk/playing table tennis would be good.
Is it WW2 (possible), is it something online, is it something some one has said or done at school or on the way to and from school? Is it worry about periods after a health ed talk at school? Is it some ridiculous modern book such as Anne Fine deemed suitable for children but actually horrible? Is it Blackops2/call of duty etc meant only for over 18s but primary boys all playing them?
Find out the cause. She has been a normal little girl till now so there must be something which has started it and which she can tell you about (without brother or dad there) . Actually she might tell her dad. Ask him to go for a long bike ride with her with stopover at a caff for a chat- that sort of thing.

Bearleigh · 05/03/2014 03:12

Castlelough my rose cutting (1 only taken as an experiment) and taken last October has growing spurs but only sort of white blobs where roots will be so I would leave yours for a while yet.

funnyperson · 05/03/2014 03:14

Agree about the vivid imagination thing! I was very worried about nuclear bombs for a while at age 7. There is no substitute for ornary everyday family stuff to cure it all. Washing up, sewing, knitting, walking the dog, reading 'little women' or kipling and other harmless old fashioned books together etc.
Keep a diary as to what sets it off.
I do think girls need their mums a lot after age 7 or so. To chat with and be friends with. DD's class went through a very bitchy phase at that age for about 2 years. Lots of pinching and sarky comments and tight knit cliques. She needed home.

funnyperson · 05/03/2014 03:15

Yes too soon to pot on rose cuttings wait for more leaves and side shoots

Bumbez · 05/03/2014 07:12

Sorry to hear about your dd Bertha does she by any chance play mine craft ? Lots of children are currently obsessed by it. My friends Ds got very anxious last year, he wouldn't be alone in any part of the house in case something got him.

I bought dd1 worry dolls a few years ago, she is the anxious sort, dd2 nicked them (I watched this program called mummy diaries, about terminally ill mummies, the psychologist suggested them). I agree it could be something specific that has set it off. Dd1 won't walk home on her own since the Police visited school to talk about of all things gun crime, she's year 6.

I bet you get an Aldi soon they're spreading at a rate of knots!

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 05/03/2014 07:38

Really sorry to hear this Bertha. DD has struggled with anxiety and had a CAHMS referral after her piano teacher died when she was 10 and she had really bad nightmares. Agree about the vivid imagination. She told the counsellor there that sometimes it felt like someone was controlling her arm whilst she wrote. I looked at the counsellor and thought, I know where we're off to next and a few weeks later was sitting in a psychiatrist's office. He felt it was her imagination and was satisfied there was no underlying condition.

We've used worry dolls which did help for a bit. With the nightmares a dream catcher was successful for sometime. She struggled with friendships so I was very proactive with arranging things with friends out of school as I was fortunate to be friends with some of the other Mothers who understood what was going on. Nastiness from some of the girls was an issue. Low level things but ongoing and this didn't help matters but the out of school stuff helped soften it a little.

Unfortunately Middle school was pretty horrendous for her due to bullying. She decided to have a fresh start at Upper school and hasn't gone to our catchment school, which has been a huge success . People who haven't seen her for ages say she is like a different child. She still gets anxious (party last week triggered it) but as she has got older she has learned techniques to help control it eg. She has a happy thought jar. When something she has enjoyed has happened she writes it on a piece of paper and puts it in her jar. She read about this on the Internet and started it recently but I think it would work well with a 7 year old.

Finally, it is really important that you look after yourself and have things to look forward to. It is very draining dealing with it and I found it necessary to have time away where I could detach from it for a while.

Bumbez · 05/03/2014 07:45

humph is your green house heated ? I've bought the few seed I've started inside as it still seems too cold at night.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 05/03/2014 10:55

I have just constructed a fleece tent for my lively new lemon tree. I think it may have to spend tonight on the dining room table.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 05/03/2014 10:55

Lovely more than lively, I think.

madcows · 05/03/2014 12:57

Hi Bertha,
I rarely post here - just read the thread for gardening tips! However, couldn't not post seeing your query. My DS (10) has bad anxiety... we found a book called 'What to do when you worry too much' brilliant, and really helped. (Don't rush it - read it yourself, then section by section with your dd). We used it from about the age of 7, and it made a huge difference. Hasn't solved everything, and we've been to CAMHS - with mixed success. First time we didn't get past the 'counsellor' who focused on his eating (he is a picky eater) and started weighing him each meeting. Not helpful as it simply gave him something else to worry about. Second time we got thro' to a psychologist and she was great (until she went on maternity leave). You have to stress how bad they are to get thro' the system, but he started being a 'school refuser' which ticked a box, and meant we got taken seriously. We think the core of the problem is a phobia about vomiting... but sometimes trying to understand 'why' doesn't help. My sympathies as it is an exhausting thing to go through.
madcowsx

Rhubarbgarden · 05/03/2014 13:10

Bertha I have no experience of anxiety but just wanted to offer my sympathies, it sounds very hard to deal with. Brew

Blackpuddingbertha · 05/03/2014 20:43

Thank you everyone! So much great advice and it does seem to be more common than you'd expect. I think there's been a number of triggers all around the same time closely following on top of the separation anxiety caused by WW2 stuff at school.

Madcows, we have that book as I saw it recommended on MN months ago when she was having a milder episode. She's read the first couple of chapters and we're taking our time to talk it through. I hope your DS continues to improve. Now you're on the thread though you have to stay on and tell us about your garden Smile

Anyway, enough of me hijacking the thread with non-gardening issues. Here's some Flowers for you all.