Absolute beginner - got an allotment this morning...HELP!!!

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Had our name on waiting list for so long had forgotten about it. Got a call the other day to go up there this morning. I hummed and hahhed about it because I have ony just split up from my partner (less than a fortnight ago) so thought timing bad and would be taking on too much especially seeing as he was the green-fingered one.
BUT what I lack in knowledge and experience I make up for in enthusiasm so fuck it, I signed up anyway.
Erm...what now?
Someone said covering it is the easiest way to clear the weeds? With what?
Can someone just pop in here and talk me through the basics very slowly as if talking to a small and quite thick child please.
I would love to get cracking tomorrow.
There is a fallen down shed I need to clear so at the very least I get to burn shit!

Cardboard. It's free, and as it rots down gets pulled into the soil by the worms; and next season you can plant through it if you haven't had time to dig out the weeds. I'd chop the weeds down and make a compost heap, and cover in cardboard everywhere else.
First year you can get away with growing spuds and squashes and those alone can cover anywhere that you haven't managed to dig over. Don't forget the more you dig the more weed seeds you allow up to germinate so try to just dig perennial weeds [nettles, dock, couch grass etc] and hoe the annuals off and leave them to rot where they lay.

We had the BEST TIME!!!
Me and my 9 year od went up there today and spent a few hours digging the fuck out of the place (well a very small portion of it anyway) and repaired the shed too! And discovered an un harvested crop of turnips! We've cleared one bed and covered it with plastic sheeting.
Going back after school tomorrow - at her request...and hopefully this will be a project we can both really enjoy together.
It is BEAUTIFUL up there and the view from our patch is amazing, you can see across the whole town and across the sea. Feeling very happy and very knackered tonight!
Thanks for your input Ribena. x

Wow! Sounds amazing.... Keep posting.

We got one in the summer, it's great! Enjoy yours

Advice for planting : Just grow what you enjoy eating- you may not want a whole bed of turnips next year...

W

Well done on getting the allotment. I've been on the waiting list for one for an absolute age and got offered one the other week - unfortunately the plot is a bit far away and for my green credentials (and the fact I don't like driving anyway), I wanted it to be close enough to get to on foot. I have become a bit of a gardening nut in the last 2 years or so. So much so that if you'd said to me back then that I would enjoy gardening and be on the waiting list for an allotment I would have thought you were mad. I hope you really enjoy it.