seaside themed planter

[SarfEasticated]

Hi ladies,
I have a bag of seashells that I would like to use in a seaside themed planter. Can you give me some plant suggestions? Planter hasn't been bought yet, so any size, and it will be in full sun on our deck. I'm thinking Whitstable meets Dungeness, rather than anything flash, but planter will be in London so no sea air. Any ideas?
I use to go the BBC website for plant info but it seems to closed down - what sited do you use for inspiration and advice?
Thanks in advance :)

[SarfEasticated]

Do you want to ring them or shall I? I wonder if the urine stains would cause the stuffing to breakdown in the same way it improves a compost heap? Never tried it myself, but that short gal Roberta Flowerdew recommended it on the TV I believe.

As for our show garden, do you think a burning bin could be our outdoor heater? Looking at the garden on your link, I think the taxi was slightly de trop I think a burnt out Clio would be more the thing.

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

I'll let you make the initial call.

I have to say, though, that I thought we might source the mattresses from NCT sales and the better class of house clearance, thus avoiding any ::winces:: contamination issues.

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Sorry. Neglected to answer your question about the show garden.

Bins in this borough tend to melt when set alight. Perhaps those in your borough are more robust? Not quite convinced about the Clio. Perhaps, for the sake of retro cool, it should be a Vauxhall Astra?

[Grockle]

Oh! Look at you with your Chelsea plans. I have to agree, an Astra is probably a good bet. There should be blooms of dandelions And perhaps we could add some interest with broken glass as mulch? I think we should also add plenty of dog poo. GrockleDog can provide white ones if we're continuing the retro theme?

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Thank you, Grockle. Do you want to join the design collective? 2013 is Chelsea's centenary year so we need to offer something very special.

::worries about having to spilt Dragon's Den proceeds three ways::

Can I get back to you about the inclusion of GrockleDog's contribution to the design?

[SarfEasticated]

I wonder if we can customise gnomes to look like little hoodies? Thrifty recycling! No sparkle spray though. Wondering about the water feature now... Cans of carling maybe?

[Grockle]

Yes, cans of carling and a statue of a yoof with his jeans round his knees & pants showing, spitting on the ground. With sound effects too.

So, erm, yes please to joining the Chelsea collective but don't worry about the dragons den proceeds, I'm not convinced you'll win.

[Grockle]

In fact, if you google 'millennium park fountsins' you'll see some fab spitting ones. Bit bigger & classier than what I was thinking. I'd do a link but am on my phone & can't!

[Grockle]

Argh

Millennium park fountains

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Ah yes. My other Dragon's Den idea is a small card to hand out to local yoofs, saying Nobody wants to see your imitation designer pants and bum cleavage. Pull up your trousers NOW.

[Grockle]

I like this idea very much. Or you could have it as a hand-stamp so you could stamp it on their hands as they walk past. Or their foreheads, perhaps.

[Grockle]

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=lukket.dk/fark/flooded.jpg&imgrefurl=www.fark.com/comments/1089576/Photoshop-this-strange-fountain&h=525&w=700&sz=66&tbnid=S__XqNd82LaSnM:&tbnh=92&tbnw=122&zoom=1&usg=__KY1S277BSgpcPFJOMUs1aXhpHRk=&docid=WI0mnvWPoVUryM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=vswjUM_wBtON0wWFnIF4&ved=0CGwQ9QEwAw&dur=184" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">Spitting fountain

[SarfEasticated]

Maybe a long hook to allow you to twang the elastic? Like those pretty victorian button hooks... I like the sound of your cards maud would they be letterpress?

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Oh yes, SarfEast. A modified button hook does appeal to my Victirian sensibilities.

::flutters fan::

[SarfEasticated]

The world would be a beautiful place if we were in charge Grockle and Maud.

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Wouldn't it just? If we start quietly in sarf London, we could gradually annex the rest of the country and, eventually, we would be supreme rulers of the universe.

::cackles::

[SarfEasticated]

We'll need a flag - (maybe too early for our Olympic team - championship toy sorting/dead-heading etc) but a flag would be lovely... a Liberty print would be a good 'jumping off' point I think pretty

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Oh yes. As this is a civilised revolution, to reintroduce manners, courtesy and properly pulled-up trousers to the world, a Liberty print flag - well starched, obviously - would be just the thing. I have always been fond of Ianthe.

[SarfEasticated]

maybe we could splice them? Well we have plenty of time to decide before we march on Sissinghurst and claim it for our own.

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Or a sort of tricouleur, with a third print of Grockle's choice?

Further thought needs to be given to whether our empire would be run from Sissinghurst, Wisley or Fortnum and Mason (for the biscuits).

[SarfEasticated]

so we'll need

1. National Anthem
   
2. Flag
   
3. Stationery
   
4. Stamps
   ...

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

5. Uniforms - something nice from Boden, possibly with extra silver braid

[SarfEasticated]

must be washable! I actually prefer Toast - lovely quality...

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

My most recent shopping had been at Phase Eight, but as this coup d'état is being launched via MN, I felt duty-bound to suggest Boden. Off now to check out Toast...

[SarfEasticated]

You're quite right Maud, I am forgetting our subjects sisters - Boden all the way.