The first rule of garden club is...!?!

[Lexilicious]

hoping Humph's Happy Osteospermumsnet chums will find this... la la la... I'm uite used to being betty no mates though...

Come on in and have a seat/kneeler/foam pad and a virtual , anyone who wants to idly chat about what they've been dreaming of planting, actually planting, buying without a care for having a place for it, propagating, harvesting, hacking and chopping...

Lucy Worsley (tv historian) made brawn recently. She described it as 'a sort of pâté' which I suppose it more or less is. I wasn't convinced, though.

Brawn is lovely although I also funked removing the eyeball and had to ask my braver friend to do it

We just moved the pigs in. Couldn't get two of them past where the electric fence used to be until the farmer next door came along and just sort of flapped his hat at them until they behaved

They must teach hat flapping in farming school

Finally got the tulips and erysimums in. Had a wonderful gardening day yesterday. Did loads. Raked leaves, pruned and tied back roses. Hacked back the perennials. Its a bit late but got in all the bulbs-glory of the snow and anemones which should have been put in a month ago. Brought the olive tree into the patio.
There is something very odd where we live because the dahlias and chrysanthemums are just flowering! An absolutely stunning dahlia has decided to flower called Bishop of Oxford and another one called Tutu. Next year I will plant in some canna lilies as companions and feed them loads and nurture them. The chrysanth was a naff present some years ago which I plonked in the garden and which has survived.
There are buds on the camellias, magnolia and rhodedendrons. I'm not sure how to protect them over the winter.
I ordered some more roses from David Austen but they haven't arrived yet.
The attempt at cloud pruning of the ceanothus has not been successful- its too leggy a tree really.

I must get on with my last bit of bulb-planting!

Which roses have you ordered, funnyperson? I do love roses now, as a recent convert.

Oh lord, I have been tasked with counting the pig's nipples

If they don't have at least twelve it is not worth breeding from them

I have no desire to count pig nipples.

:o

That makes my day sound positively enjoyable! Counting pig's nipples is fortunately not something I'm going to have to do today :)

Just exactly how do you get them to roll over so you can count them?

We had roast parsnips, jerusalem artichokes and oca for Sunday lunch yesterday - all from the garden. Actually felt more productive veg wise than back in June! I'm officially adding roast oca to the top of the family favourite food list. They were amazing. DH wants more next year so I'm going to have to find some space in one of the main beds (and find where to source the tubers from as we've now eaten all of ours).

DH says that I have to feel underneath while they are eating their dinner

He is claiming a bad back

Sunday lunch sounds delicious Bertha.

I think I will point out that HE got an A in A level maths so he can do the bloody counting....

::wonders whether counting pig nipples is more a basic GCSE [for JM - lower level qualification] task::

I don't think I've ever been close enough to a pig to count its nipples.

They're sort of scary-looking, aren't they?

I am ignoring the fact that I am a primary school teacher in early years and teach children to count all the time

For some reason I am now weirdly interested in the number of nipples pigs have! Apparently:

10 teats is rather minimal.
12 teats is common.
14 teats is a good breeder.
16 teats is a superior sow.

Who knew? Apart from pig breeders obviously

Well feel free to come round and have a look Bertha

I hope they are at least of the common standard. I want to breed from the spotty one as she is the cutest.

Interested now. What breed of pig do you have, Humphrey. Is the spotty one Gloucester Spot?

They are half Kune Kune and half wild boar. They are very good natured.

Pigs nipples always seem very ...erm...abundant ...until one observes piglets suckling, when they seem ...well...necessary. I only know because we used to holiday in Cornwall in a farm with a pig called AppleSauce.

The roses I ordered were: William Shakespeare, Gentle Hermione, Lady Emma Hamilton and Teasing Georgia. Ornery shrub roses but scented and repeat flowering. They are for my mothers garden. I am hoping they wont make the garden look too much like a municipal park.

Pauls Himalayan musk is being ordered for mine to trail in the oak tree. I am hoping the oak and the rose won't be too culture shocked by the togetherness.

I love the Paul's Himalayan musk we have. Stunning.

How lovely to have an oak tree, funnyperson. I have New Dawn growing -with clematis jackmanii - through an apple tree and it is, even if I say so myself, an utterly delightful sight.

I have the William Shakespeare rose. I don't think lots of roses make a garden look municipal. They make it look lush and romantic, or so I hope. My GW porn magazine arrived yesterday and there's a lot in that about roses. I've been drooling again over the David Austin full page ad.

We love the oak. It has a preservation order on and dates from when the area was deciduous forest. There is a hawthorn too, and blackberries, its a jungle really and holly. I think of the garden as a clearing in the forest. I would very much like a deer or two, like Knole. The flowers which work best are little woodland flowers, like cyclamen and crocuses and snowdrops. However nearer the house there is a transition to BethChattoSackvilleWestMontyland and this is where the roses and clematis and apples and plums and acanthus and astrantia and other things too numerous too mention and in any case fading are.

So, are we talking hectares of grounds, funnyperson?

Suburban north facing largish hankerchief patch. Wooden fence with trellis. Patio and pathways need attention.

My ideal garden would be walled, south facing, sloping slightly to the sun, with a door leading to a woody area for bluebells, anemones , cyclamen, snowdrops crocuses etc.

Two weeks now with no rain, and 34 today. No real prospect of rain for the next week, either. Which would be fine had we not laid a lawn four weeks ago. We'll have to lay pea straw mulch on the veggie bed, indeed should have done it earlier.

However..today DH and I were dangerously up a tree, taking it back from the power lines, having been served notice by the leccy folk. In Oz, once you're in the suburbs, all electrical stuff is above ground, festooned across every street. It looks like India. I hated it when I first came here, but don't "see' it any more. The upshot is you're responsible for the growth of trees on your property which come within 2 feet of power lines. Our hacking of the lovely ti-tree isn't too bad, and I'll feed it tomorrow, to help it over the amputation shock.

Good things are magnificent kangaroo paws and verbena bonariensis. The blackbird's first egg has hatched, though now I'm concerned I've only seen the chap, not the hen, and hope she's not been scoffed by a cat.

It's very still and warm now at 9.00. in the evening, with the cicadas whirring. Oh, they've stopped.

Ah yes India- Bougainvillea, frangipani, lotuses, jasmine, roses with scent heavy on the air and canna lilies tall and abundant with butterflies everywhere.

It is raining here -soft English rain and the smell is of wet autumn leaves once the early morning mist has cleared. I love it. The winter jasmine is flowering. A neighbour has pruned theirs so that it is neat and bushy, framing the front of their doorway and windows. Mine is leggy - next year I will be ruthless with it.