Year 11 son doesnt want to go to college. What are our options?

[Onedaysoon9273]

My son and school do not match. It has been hell. He wants to leave the education environment altogether and just get a job but this doesnt seem to be a possibility anymore as have to stay in education until 18
We have alot of issues to deal with making it difficult....

1. He has adhd, ocd, pda. His main issue is lack of organisational skills. Still needs us to get him up, continous prompts to get ready, we drop him at his school bus stop. He cannot plan or take a journey independently. Although 16 I would say hes mentally functioning around the age of 11/12 at the moment.
2. We dont live near to any colleges of any sort. All are 2 hour bus journeys away and involve public transport, 2 buses each way. (At rush hour) This is pretty much undoable for him at the moment. He will not be able to do that journey himself. I cannot commit to take/fetch him as a single parent with younger children I have to get to school and back . He will 100% miss the bus, meaning he will be late every day.
3. Even if he got there, he doesnt want to be there . He hates a classroom environment. He doesnt listen, is distracted , not interested to learn and he is very black and white. When he comes home, school no longer exists. He does no school work at home and never will. You can sit next to him for hours and he will sit in silence, and then get very angry.
4. He has done a few work experience placements and done wonderfully at all of them. Anything hands on he is great with. He does not want to do written work.
5. We don't know his results yet but not expecting him to pass his gcses so will also need to do resists which will also add extra pressure on.

Where do we go from here? We can apply and pick any course he could get on, but it doesnt mean he will go there and do the work. It is extremely stressful for me and I dont know what to do. Noone seems to employ under 18s but educational environments are not for everyone. Please can anyone help? He does not have an ehcp as only just diagnosed

The alternative is an appreticship but they are competitive and you still have to go to college one day per week.

Are there any local schemes near to you aimed atthose with Sen such as the King's Trust that include work placements and training?

Yeah he'd need an employer backing him for an apprenticeship. So he'd be working most of the time. And some don't actually involve physical college attendance. Though there is definitely study and testing etc. But I think we had a couple where the study was online and assessor came to the workplace. They were in the office every day.

But they are quite hard to get and he'd need to compete against others who may have been more successful in education. He would need to seem passionate about the sector or area of work he's trying to get into.

I would look at applying for an EHCP. If nothing else, this might open up options for transport. This would also include support at college (my DC is younger so not sure what can be provided at that age).
I realise none of this helps if he doesn't actually want to be there. Has he actually looked at what's involved in the more practical course? A lot of them have work experience as part of the course.
It may be worth reposting this on the SEN boards, as you'll get more knowledgeable replies from people with SEN DC.

Apprenticeship is the obvious one. Needs one day in college and he would still probably have to resit maths and English if he doesn't get a 4+.

It's a pity all the colleges are so far away as there are lots of practical courses. What are his interests? Building trades, animal care, agriculture or horticulture could all be possible. Then look at options based on that. Could you approach the work experience places to see if they would take him on as an apprentice?

The legal requirements he needs to be signed up to do some sort of 'training/education' for the equivalent of about 1 day a week. The remainder can be voluntary work. I'd be asking the places where he did his work placement if they could accommodate him. Also the govt are only interested until hus 18th birthday not what would have been the rnd if Y13. If he has a birthday earlier in the school year he only needs to find something for one year then as soon as he is 18 he should find it a bit easier to find employment. Your son is typical of those for whom the push to keep everyone in education for longer just does not fit. In my family most of my cousins and one sibling left school at 16, entered the work force and have been pretty much employed ever since. Not everyone is suited to school and society needs to accept that.

Ive looked in depth at apprenticeships in our area. We will most definitely apply to every single one that comes up hes interested in but I dont have much hope he would get selected. He would not come across as eager or knowledgeable as he doesnt want to do anything right now. Anything he does will be because we have pushed/forced him to do it.

We were leaning towards the trades which is where will be applying but that is the college that is 2 bus journeys away.
Will just have to prey and hope something turns up.
I have faith in him for the future,he just needs to mature first. My husband worked a minimum wage night shift in a warehouse until he was 30 then decided to study and train in health and safety where he rose through the companies and ended up with a very senior level position. So I know this will not define his whole life. But it really would be so much easier if he could just get a normal job (like Tesco) for a couple of years and forget the education side altogether

As I understand it, you wont be chased or penalised if he goes into employment or does not attend a college course. However, it will impact things like child benefit. I think given the range of difficulties you have described he is unlikely to gain employment straight from school. Apprenticeships are a possibility, but he would have to secure one. I would look and see if a supported internship would be possible. These are work based learning opportunities targetted at young people with additional needs.
https://www.ndti.org.uk/collection/internships-work-resources-for-young-people-and-families/

My son fell out of education at 17, with mental health challenges now diagnosed as ADHD. He was working two evenings a week washing up at our village pub and the LEA were happy to sign him off their books on this basis.

I was pretty shocked at how low the bar was, to be honest, but the LEA contact assigned to him said they have loads of young people for whom formal education or college apprenticeship courses are just not right and if they are happy and doing something (ie not being exploited, coerced or held back against their will) then they are fine with that.

You might find that working in Tesco or similar is absolutely fine, despite what the law appears to state.

If he has the behaviour of an 11 year old what does the school say about his abilities ? If he is very behind in many ways in his development college is perhaps not on the cards. He may have the body for his years but if his capacity is far younger, then he doesn’t have the ability to manage it.
Have a chat with the school. If he is dead certain on leaving which he might be you might do worse than speak to a disability employment advisor at your local jobcentre. But he needs to be able to have conversations with people for that to work.

You generally need ehc plan for supported internships. Many areas have small alternative providers that have vocational and life skills programmes for 16+ with Sen and will do functional / entry level English and maths exams (so don’t have resit gcse). See if your council has an alternative provision list on its local offer website although other Sen parents / groups are usually best source.
I would apply for the ehc assessment now while you have a school - you don’t need their help to make the request but it would be good to get them to provide their evidence before they shut for summer. Get in touch with senco now.
ipsea website have an example letter you can use to start the process
see if you can visit vocational Sen providers before summer holidays some of them may not be classroom based some are outdoors learning or based around car mechanics etc

He can go into employment. No one will be bothered at all that it's not college or an apprenticeship. They don't contact you at all once past age 16.

If his work experiences have gone well then I'd say a job is a much better option for him.

He's year 11. He has 2 weeks of school left.

Getting an EHCP is a long and stressful process. There is absolutely no chance of getting one at this point in time.

Apply for an EHCP - they can stay in place until the age of 25 so support in suitable placements etc can continue for that much longer.

Jobs are so hard to get now that in ‘just Tesco’ he’ll be up against older people with experience; peers who have passed GCSE Maths & English; 18 year olds with decent qualifications at that higher level; even graduates.

Given the range of SEN you describe, and the likely failure in English & Maths GCSEs triggering the need for retakes if he is involved in any form of structured arrangement such as an apprenticeship, getting formal support via an EHCP sounds the most reasonable way forward. Would the school support that? Presumably he’s already on their SEN register, just perhaps at a lower level than EHCP?

I agree that end of Y11 is a difficult time for an EHCP application - you’d have to drive the process yourself up to a point, and it’s a long and weary road.

You’ve just described my son exactly although he also has asd. I will be watching this tread with interest as I’ve no advice to give unfortunately.

You could home educate, take resits as an external candidate and apply for college if and when he feels ready for it. Nothing stopping him going at 17 or 18. Child benefit continues if a child is home educated after leaving school now.

It is a shame DS doesn’t have an EHCP because that would open up options such as supported internships and EOTAS/EOTIS/C. EHCPs are based on needs rather than diagnosis.

I would request an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. It is still worth it because EHCPs can last until 25, or 26 in some circumstances.

There is absolutely no chance of getting one at this point in time.

It is not true to say there is no chance. It is what LAs would like people to believe but it is possible to get an EHCP post 16. Some do each year.

I’d also suggest home education as he is old enough to be home alone for some periods - he should take level 2 functional skills English and maths through “pass functional skills” online (he can sit the exams at home on a laptop once he is ready) to get the basic level 4 equivalent passes he needs, and do voluntary work experience with maybe a couple of days paid (zero hours?) work too, most of the rest of the time. Other useful things he could do that would make him more employable at 18 might be online food hygiene level 2, getting a labourers card and driving theory/lessons.

As previous posters have said, the requirement to be in education or training is not enforced. He can get a job, and that's what I would suggest - a low-skilled job. I wouldn't put effort in now into applying for apprenticeships when, as you say, he wouldn't be selected over keener candidates. I would suggest work for a year, and THEN pursue training in a field that interests him - hopefully he will have found something that interests him by then.

Junior Soldier is another possibility, if he would like that sort of environment. Probably not compatible with PDA though. 😬

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He has done a few work experience placements and done wonderfully at all of them. Anything hands on he is great with. He does not want to do written work.
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That is fantastic! Can he try to get a job through one of those contacts? They could even create an apprenticeship for him later-on - though for now I would really focus on getting him into work, any work, so he gets used to working.

Also, get him his driver's licence as soon as possible. That will give him more opportunities as well (and will be a boost to his self-esteem).

I work with lots of young people like this and my advice would be don’t write off college just yet. Some yp who really struggle at school and refuse to attend do much better at college doing a very hands on course like mechanics or carpentry where the demands are less, and they are treated more like adults, and are doing something that they are interested in. I would really try and make it happen for the first few weeks even if that means juggling things around to get him there yourself… see if he can form a bond with a staff member and you never know. Make an effort to contact the college beforehand so they know what to expect and strategies to build a relationship with him. If it doesn’t work after a month or so, you do always have the option of looking at work instead, but if you try the college option you will have much more evidence for an EHCP if you decide to go down that route, and evidence for the LA if they decide to chase you up on what he’s doing instead of going to college.