How involved should I be helping son to choose college courses /apprenticeships

[Pullingmyhairout293u]

We have another year yet but worrying about it. My son has adhd , and pda. He struggles immensely at school., socially, behaviourly and academically. I cant wait until he leaves as the stress it causes him and me is immense.
What would be the best option for him at 16 is to get a job. That's what he needs. A wage, something interesting that he doesnt have to do written work for. But this isnt allowed anymore. So weve got to go through another 2 relish years at college for him to probably come out of it with nothing. In addition to this the only locational college he can go to where we live is in another city. About 15 miles from where we live. Will take 2 bus journeys either way, 2 hours for both, so a 4 hour commute each day. This is setting him up for failure straight away as he will just miss the bus and be late every day. I cant take/fetch him as have to do other school runs and I work.
What do people like us do? He would like to work in a pub from 18 which would be a great fit for him. What do we do until then?
When he has matured and found something he likes i think he will do well. But it is pointless forcing him to do exams , essays etc.
He doesnt revise and wont do. Doesnt do homework. School and home are teo separate things. Ive tried sitting with him and forcing him but it causes huge stress and arguments.
Anyone have any suggestions or have a child similar?

He can get a job it just needs to have some sort of training element to it. Most jobs that are offered to 16 year olds do as very few 16 year olds are ready for work.

there’s lots of college courses that involve absolutely minimal written work - my dc did catering but there are plenty of others.

He can get a job. Help him find a level 2 or 3 apprentiship in something he would enjoy or at least able to do. Several of my sons friends did this. 2 are doing something to do with cars, one is in IT and one is in construction.

Sorry I didn't actually mention in relation to my question.
He never has any clue when something is, like his upcoming mocks.
When we discuss college , apprenticeship etc he nods along but doesn't really understand. If you sit with him to show him their websites you cant keep his attention for more than 5 mins. We will take him to the open days which will be better.
He struggles with arranging things. Such as their current work experience placement. They were supposed to sort it themselves. He didn't and couldn't. Me and his dad and his teacher did it for him.
So my question is should it be us picking him something and applying etc, or should we leave it to him. In which case nothing will happen.

You need to help him.
Does he have an ehcp?
He might be able to access supported internships or mentoring

If he needs your support with it then absolutely help. I have been much more involved with dd2's college application than I was with dd1 as she just needed more help working out what she wanted to do and filling in the forms. No point in setting them up to fail. If he's interested in working in a pub it might be worth looking into apprenticeships in hospitality.

In that case don’t leave it to him. Take him to open days. Talk about what he might like and not like.

some colleges do taster days or taster weeks to try out courses after the GCSEs have finished.

Obviously he needs a lot of support, it sounds like he really struggles with executive function. Is he on medication? It could make a huge difference to him if not.
DS is autistic doing an apprenticeship he loves, he wouldn't have had a chance if i hadn't supported him every step of the way of getting it.

If he wants to work in a pub, maybe a catering course in conjunction with a training restaurant would work well? I think these exist (but maybe not near you). I have no personal experience of this so do not know how it works exactly but essentially I imagine them to be places where you study for a catering qualification on some days of the week but also "work" in the training restaurant on the remaining days of the week. In the training restaurant you could gain experience in all the different roles, so from food preparation to food and beverage service. Maybe something like this: https://cwa.ac.uk/courses/catering-and-hospitality

And from what you describe, you should definitely help him - with as much input from him as he can manage, obviously!

Doesn’t he have an EHCP? I thought there had to be a moving on plan with these. If he hasn’t, I’d use this time to push to get one, it can last until he’s 25 if appropriate.

One of my daughters is like this . You could help by doing the research for him and narrowing down options of what you think he may like and presenting several options. Once you see what he’s drawn to then you can just find options relating to that and again helping him narrow down and then from there aiding him to apply.
Make it his choice and his applications but with guidance.