Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Flip

Original poster

DD making no friends in 6th form - help!

15 replies

BlondeBelle · 04/10/2025 08:31

Hi all,

Newbie here concerned about my DD.

She started a new sixth form in September with 2 girls she knew that but aren’t her proper friends (these girls are lovely but v v quiet and don’t chat/socialise etc). Her close friends went to another college.

DD is sitting on a table with a group of girls who seemed friendly enough but they openly talk about plans they have together, birthday parties they are celebrating etc, text on group chats and don’t involve/invite DD. She is so upset about it.

She has suggested meet ups a few times, said about setting up a chat so they can do this and it doesn’t happen.

She is such a happy kind and bright girl, it’s absolutely heart breaking seeing her so upset.

I suppose my question is, how long can it take from experience, to break into these female friendship groups - she’s been there a month now.

I don’t want her to have two unhappy years 💔

OP posts:

Stowickthevast · 04/10/2025 08:38

She must be in different groups for different subjects? I assume her table and the girls she's with changes? Can she try and get to know people in a different subject?

It sounds like she needs to find people outside this core group who may be hard to break into.

Is it a feeder school or are there other new students like her?

Original poster

BlondeBelle · 04/10/2025 08:42

Stowickthevast · 04/10/2025 08:38

She must be in different groups for different subjects? I assume her table and the girls she's with changes? Can she try and get to know people in a different subject?

It sounds like she needs to find people outside this core group who may be hard to break into.

Is it a feeder school or are there other new students like her?

She is in some of the same subjects, apologies I was meaning in the common room/free periods/lunch.

The sixth form only had a small number of new intakes this year and I think that’s making it more difficult,

Ive suggested trying to chat to others but she is worried they all have established groups too and then she won’t be able to sit back with this first group if branching out doesn’t work.

Can it take more than a month to make friends?

OP posts:

Trodincatsickagain · 04/10/2025 08:46

I think it’s still early days yet and I agree with pp.

My DD had a tough time in 6th form and I was so worried about her. She just didn’t gel with anyone and was so lonely, but she got through it and things couldnt have been more different when she started Uni, where she settled very quickly and met her tribe!

DelurkingAJ · 04/10/2025 08:47

I went to a new school for sixth form. Of the 200 of us about 50 were new, including all 40 girls. I nearly quit about two weeks in. Lots of people had arrived knowing a small group and obviously the 150 who’d been there all along had established friendship groups. But by half term I was having the time of my life and (more than 25 years later) I still have really good friends from that school. The trick was not to hang around with the same people but shift from group to group (I was tagging along after the first person I met, who was lovely on a one to one basis but her mates were never going to be my besties…took me a few weeks to break away and find others).

RoverReturn · 04/10/2025 08:47

It can be tough. Dd didn't have the best time at 6th form- had friends but not really her tribe and there was a lot of drama which isn't her.

She did make new friends through one of her A level subjects where they were a close knit group, but it took a while.

onlytakesaminute · 04/10/2025 08:50

i think this is a problem when you go to a different school sixth form where the majority of people are in established groups. It’s early days so hopefully will improve.

She needs to look at why she chose to go to that school and take the positives from that. Can she get involved in sports/music/d of e type extra curriculars?

Rocknrollstar · 04/10/2025 08:55

Perhaps she could join something out of school - a sports club or amateur dramatics for example.

willathewisp · 04/10/2025 09:18

Are there any clubs or after school activities your DD can join at the sixth form?

parietal · 04/10/2025 09:31

It is always hard to break into an existing friendship group. Much better to look around and see who else is alone. Then make a new group with them.

Original poster

BlondeBelle · 04/10/2025 10:00

Thanks everyone. There doesn’t seem to be a huge amount of clubs or teens alone. I’m really quite worried about it 😣

OP posts:

willathewisp · 04/10/2025 13:18

BlondeBelle · 04/10/2025 10:00

Thanks everyone. There doesn’t seem to be a huge amount of clubs or teens alone. I’m really quite worried about it 😣

Maybe she could try and develop her friendships with the two quieter girls? It's possible they are more open to socialising than your daughter realises and she may have unwittingly dismissed them.

Anotheranonymousname · 05/10/2025 21:51

What was it about this school that made your DD choose it for sixth form? You've said there aren't many clubs but are there any? Is there some kind of peer mentoring of younger students? Library assistants? There must have been something about the school that meant your DD felt she could see herself there.

If the group she is hanging around with isn't open to a new member, your DD has little to lose from being friendly towards others. It doesn't matter if it's an existing group, a mixed group, a couple of others in the same subject as her, anything really. Get her to do something like put a pack of cards in her bag or download Out of the Loop and ask someone to play... it's a conversation starter if nothing else!

DC2 has just started at the sixth form of a different school from the one they were at from Y7-11. Moving from a single sex school to a much larger mixed school has been something of a learning curve. They didn't know anyone before starting and most of the other new students have joined with at least a couple of others from their previous schools. DC2 has forced themselves to join a club that is completely out of their comfort zone and to join in with some word game thing a bunch of Y12s play in the common room. Last week DC2 travelled home on the bus instead of train to carry on a conversation with a new hopefully-friend. They've been exchanging messages over the weekend which feels both small and huge at the same time!

It does take time to develop friendships. Hopefully your DD will feel able to try hanging out with some other Y12s and will find something in common with a couple of them before long.

FirstdatesFred · 05/10/2025 21:58

It's hard but it doesn't sound like the current group are worth sticking with if they're just making her feel left out and a bit shit,
Ideally she needs to have the confidence to realise it's not developing and walk away from them but I know that's easier said than done!

CreamBeforeJamOnScones · 05/10/2025 22:28

Could she set up a social thing for the newbies?

Bufftailed · 06/10/2025 18:47

Agh hang in there OP. DC was sitting alone in study periods but then one of his classmates came and asked him to join them. They go to the gym and he is meeting a few others. I think it’s just going to take a bit more time. Not fun for either of you until then. Fingers crossed changes quickly

Flip