Partner wants to go to uni, worried about finances

[Bellfox95]

My partner is 37 and has decided he would like to go to university and study social work. I’m really happy for him he’s been stuck in a care role for the longest time and has struggled with deciding what he wants to do.

I am just slightly concerned how we are actually going to live for the next 3 years while he doesn’t have an income.
It’s just me and him at home, and his daughter who’s 17 is going to move in during the summer and go to a college near us.

I work full time and earn £25,500. We have about £6000 of debt, and our monthly outgoing are about £1050, not including food or clearing the debt at all.
Im also not really sure how student finances work or what he would actually be entitled too, I am presuming tuition fees and a maintenance loan?

Google 'step up to social work' ... Intensive 14 month course with bursary ... might be worth looking into.

If your partner wants your support with this proposal, he needs to come to you with a detailed plan for how he is going to pay for the course and for his own living costs, not to mention his daughter's. It's not reasonable to assume you will finance the entire household and I doubt that you could afford to do so.

He might well be able to work around the course in year one, I am only on campus two days a week for example.

In years 2 and 3, he will be on placement for at least 3 months at a time on full time hours. Weekends may be a possibility but there is a lot of work, assignments etc that still need to be completed while on placement.

What is he saying about how the finances are going to work especially with his daughter moving in?

Got to be honest my initial reaction to this is wouldn't everybody like three years of essentially doing only a small amount of work whilst studying the fact is unless you earn a lot of money it's a pipeline dream and he should grow up and support his family.
Especially when his earning potential isn't that high when he finally graduates.

Just to add to my post up thread, he could be fine to have as a boyfriend but all the debt and moving his daughter in to your property would outweigh this.

I think he should delay it until the debts are paid off. If needs be get an extra part-time job to help clear it.

You need to think this through? Is his ex going to help contribute to 17 year okd expenses? hiw us dp going to oay towards her and the bills? What loans will you ge able to get?

Do you have a potential (studying) cocklodger on your hands? (Plus daughter)

would another option to do the course part-tine, so although it will take longer to qualifyfy, he’ll have more time to work outside studies?

I’ll look into this thank you 🥰

Yeah, I think with the maintenance loan it will work out he has about £800 a month, he will obviously have to commute to the uni (we live about 4 mins away) and I’m concerned I can’t afford to keep him and his daughter as my job isn’t exactly high paid, as some other people said maybe he could pick up extra shifts and that would obviously top our income up a bit.

Thank you! I was wondering this, obviously if he’s at uni every day it would be hard to work around that which I completely understand. But if he’s only on campus a couple days a week I’m sure he could get something part time to top our income up a little bit, we’d have less during his placements in years 2/3 but we would just have to make it work I guess. Overall I’m really happy for him he really wants the career and he’s never been fortunate enough to be able to go to uni or be in a steady enough position he could consider career paths (had quite a rough upbringing and has been homeless several times).

So is he expecting you to support him and his daughter (not your joint daughter?) for three years? to go into a career that people are leaving in droves because it's so under-resourced and miserable? And you're not married?

He's taking the mickey.

He needs to look into bursaries and apprenticeships. He could earn alongside it.

if you have no children at home there’s nothing stopping him getting an evening/weekend job either.

how? He’s going to uni, social work may not be loadsamoney but probably better than care work.

in any case he’ll have a degree in 3 years to open up other careers.

it’s suggested on here all the time that women “retrain” or go back to uni when kids are at school or grown, expecting their husbands to support them and the kids. Why is that not taking the piss?

what’s marriage got to do with it? If o:p is the main earner with more assets she’s better off not marrying him, protect her own finances.

He’s a wonderful partner. A lot of people have student loans I suppose, some people go and get a degree then don’t even go into that field, I’m happy he’s found something he feels passionately about and wants to make a career of it, even if it’s not the best paying field in the world.
as other people have stated I’m sure he could do some bank work while he isn’t in placements to give us some extra income, the maintenance loan will give him roughly £800 a month.

I don't think they are married, so he could live off her for a few years then disappear once he has his qualification.

If they were married, he could live off her for a few years then disappear once he has his qualification.

she’d also be liable for any debts, have to buy him out their home if she owns it, pay him half her savings and pensions.

if she has any assets at all far better to not be married to a man with no assets and no earning power currently.

Yes but a man who wants to do this and hasn't put together a proper financial plan for it, doesn't inspire confidence.....

Agreed tbh.

he will be on much better money when he finishes his qualification, and it will open up career paths he doesn’t really have in care.

it is often suggested women go back to education when they have grown kids, I don’t have any children myself, my assets are mine, if I can support him and make his life better, of course I want too. I’m just slightly concerned how we will afford general living but as some people have stated he would only be at uni a couple days a week the first year so I’m sure he would work part time, he isn’t doing it for “a free ride” as some posters have made out, he wants to be able to do something for his career, and personally- I don’t see anything wrong with that.

he isn’t “expecting” me to do anything, we are currently discussing the possibilities and trying to work out the best means, what’s affordable and if it’s actual possible.

as for some of the other posts on here insulting him for not having his life together at 37, or having assets, or the fact he lives with me, life is a different journey for everyone and from his background and upbringing he’s done well and I’m extremely proud of him for wanting to better himself.

All that for £40k a year. No wonder it’s hard to recruit. It should be free to study.

I’d expect someone with an eye to becoming a social worker should be able to work all this out for themselves and make a plan. He needs to pay off his debt, get some savings together and work out his income while studying. His living expenses are already low because he is living in your house, you shouldn’t have to subsidise him.

You have written that he "could" do bank work.... but will he? Think you really need to have a clear plan of what you are both in agreement with.

I'd even write it down so there is no potential gaslighting in the future.

He would, is the reality. He has no issue working and isn’t looking for a free ride. I’m just not saying he “will” because I have no idea what the course is like, what if it’s incredibly demanding and he cannot work due to the pressure of the course?
I guess he could start the course and we’d then schedule what availability he actually has so it’s realistic, there’s no point in me saying you must work xyz hours when we don’t know how much availability he will have.

I'm now thinking of the chunky student loan repayments that will come out of his wages after he qualifies and gets work - I would (again) strongly advise paying off that £6K debt asap. He could pick up extra shifts now.

He might be eligible for bursaries that will reduce the amount of student debt he takes out. Have him check
https://www.thescholarshiphub.org.uk/adult-scholarships-funding-and-scholarships-mature-students/

This is why bank work would be advantageous for you both - the flexibility of it. He can do a couple of shifts per week in term time and do more during the holidays.

Yeah, I think on £32,000 the starting rate for social work he would pay £35 monthly.
if he got up to £40,000 he would pay £95 a month.