UCAS personal statement help!

[Whatthewhatnowreally]

DS is staring at the scepreen in a panic. He has listed things he think they might be interested and that was a real struggle.
Now he doesn’t know how to link things to the qualities they are supposed to show, in a lively way. He is writing stuff like ‘I enjoy basketball because it’s working with a team, and I like chess because it is not working in a team’.
he says it’s all stilted, he can’t say that everything is because he likes being in a team, and how does he make it sound like full, interesting sentences.
Has anyone any tips please?
He really struggles with the ‘woolliness’ of English, and likes the logic of maths.

Could chat gpt help once he’s got his statements written, so that it flows more?

I have played basketball for X years. This has helped me develop my teamworking skills, as well as time management and perseverence to improve my game. I also enjoy chess, which allows me to develop my skills in logical thinking and planning ahead.
For extra curriculars, they are often transferrable skills rather than directly related to the course that the student is applying for.

@Whatthewhatnowreally What he enjoys in his spare time is not hugely relevant to why he wants to study a certain subject. What makes him want to study that subject? What extra reading has he done or interests does he have that link directly into the subject? What is his main reason for wanting to study the subject? What made him interested in it? I assume not sport and chess. Look at the core modules of the course and say how his skills and academic interests link to them.

Chat GPT is actually very good for things like this. It his gives it the content, it will come up with a basic structure. He'll still need to work on/personalise it afterwards, but he won't be working from a blank screen.

Yeh what @TizerorFizz says. For my DC their extracurriculars were literally a sentence at the end.

What subject @Whatthewhatnowreally ? As an example, DD for English lit wrote about the books that had inspired her and why and where that might lead, as well as the research she did for her NEA. Ds for science wrote about the research he had read up on and what he hoped to do with a science degree.

tbh unless it is a very specific uni and degree the PS is not a big factor, but you may as well make it as good as possible.

What has he read/watched/attended (even on line) relating to his chosen subject? That’s a good place to start.

I wouldn't advice this. It will will be bland at best, he won't learn and increasingly schools and workplaces are automatically disqualifying ai written applications.

@Whatthewhatnowreally try to keep him relaxed. Let me write the "random" sentences then work with him to group similar ones. Once he does this, check flow l re-order, see sentences that can be combined. Don't worry about contradictions but use them to show how well rounded he is. E.g. I enjoy basket-ball because I am good at working in teams and supporting friends and colleagues. In another section, I like finding logical solutions to problems (refer to chess).
However, as @TizerorFizz has said, focus on why he wants to study his course of choice, and to add to @TizerorFizz's great advice what has he done that shows interest. For example if its coaching studies he wants to study, then he can say as an avid basketball player, he has excellent understanding of team work and dynamics but also enjoys playing chess which helps him build his strategic thinking and understanding of opponents' choices

@Whatthewhatnowreally What does your lovely ds want to study?

What is he applying for? He needs to demonstrate enthusiasm fir the subject and course.

He needs to focus on explaining why he wants to study the subject he’s choosing. Display some passion and enthusiasm for the subject. I’d avoid chat gpt. There is software now which picks AI up.

Does his school or college not offer any support with this as they will have much more recent experience.

My son was told his statement should basically be about why he wants to study the subject, what interests him about it and then any reading around the subject he had done on top of his A levels. He had a small paragraph towards the end about his job/volunteering/hobbies.

I also find just bashing out a first draft quickly and not overthinking it then printing it out and re writing it is quicker.

Doesn’t the new PS guidance have sections to be completed that guide the applicants? What does he want to study @Whatthewhatnowreally ?

I would make sure he writes it himself. I would also suggest you stand back a bit. I think this is a test of thinking for yourself and constructing a few paragraphs that meet criteria. It’s a great first lesson for university.

you are so brilliant, thank you! we would have gone off into the world of hobbies.
he wants to do maths and physics - he loves the logicalness of it and that you get a definite answer. (which is why he dislikes english) as for physics, he says he just likes it and its easy. (!)and i guess he might want to be some sort of engineer. toruble is he would have got 5 As if they let him take engineering but due to timetabling he had to take english which he hates and got a c. entry is 5 as.

I'd love to step back as I know nothing about either subject, but he is getting over worried and sits and stares blankly at his screen, with a look of fear!
he doesnt read about maths as such, and ive only just discovered nrich and olympiads - and he doesnt seem interested, but he taught himself CAD and makes little electronic things.
The school isn't really very academic, so I am a little concerned that hes competing against children who have been to very good schools/been hothoused.
I know I sound like helicopter mum, weve just had a few crap years and im concerned I havent been as on it as I should have been. agh, mum guilt!
thank you so much for your advice everyone.

he taught himself CAD and makes little electronic things.

Mentioning this is more important than irrelevant extra-curriculars like basketball.

The PS is generally why you want to do a certain type of degree course, what your strengths & passions are and then the ‘extra curriculars’ are really the hobbies or activities you do that prove you really really are interested in the degree course field.

I wish all schools were equal.

The little projects sound great

UCAS does have a page to guide you a bit

https://www.ucas.com/applying/applying-to-university/writing-personal-statement/how-write-personal-statement

@Whatthewhatnowreally In the world of work, “some sort of engineer” usually requires a MEng or BEng degree. Not maths/physics. He needs to understand this. Engineering has a professional structure and students learn engineering principles which are only found on approved courses. I would very quickly speak to him about careers. If he wants to be an engineer then he needs an engineering degree.

As the others have says his hobbies are irrelevant unless they relate to his chosen subject. Nobody cares whether you have grade 8 in tap dancing if you’re applying for a maths degree. At DCs school they don’t even really like them to mention things like head boy/senior prefect etc. it’s all about the subject and demonstrating knowledge and enthusiasm for what you are applying to study.

thank you for that! He doesnt want to mention the gizmos as they didnt necesarilly work/get finished, (still impressed the socks off of me) but I guess it shows that hes interested and bothered.

This is really helpful, thank you. there are not many people from his school who apply to uni. so we are a bit in the dark!

@Whatthewhatnowreally All schools offer some guidance. He needs better careers advice in my view. Don’t his maths or physics teachers have any input? I would seriously get him to look at the Institute of Engineering and Technology website to see if this career appeals. I assume he has some idea of grades he should achieve and how to match them to 5 uni choices?

Hey @Whatthewhatnowreally I'm a bit confused by your post so excuse my ignorance. Do you mean he has already completed his schooling and got his grades? Did he do 5 A levels or are you in Scotland where things are different (and I think students take more subjects). I cannot imagine any school in England making someone take English A level against their will.

Does he have AAAAC and needs AAAAA - is that correct? where is this for? Is he also considering unis that have a lower offer?

I agree with Tizer that if he wants to be an engineer he should definitely look at taking an engineering degree. He has time to get advice on this.

He also has time to do some research on his subject, whatever he goes for, watch some lectures online, look at possible careers, have something to say about why he wants to study the subject, what modules appeal, that kind of thing. UCAS deadline is not till after Christmas. If it helps, you could talk together about some of these things and record it so he can use it as a starting point, if he finds it hard to write.

This all uni application needs to be about the extra academic to show enthusiasm for your subject.

Much less weight on basketball. More on a computer science master class on X etc that enrichment they knowledge of coding with Y.

Since they mostly don't get read I wouldn't overly stress about it.

He should talk about the process and what he learned from it. He dies sound as though engineering would suit him better.
My ds successfully applied to the top UK unis for maths/physics.His personal statement was primarily about things he had read and his thoughts on them.How does he see maths influencing the world?
But increasingly unis are very aware that the PS is often not the students own work .

Thanks so much everyone, so for not replying earlier - father in law had a heart attack so lots going on

The school wants his pc in last Friday, I’m guessing, I hope that he’ll have chance to tweak when he’s done some more online research.
thanks everyone, thanks mm81736 well done that son!
our son doesn’t really do olympiads and maths stuff, what he does do is answer questions in class in a way that seems more sensible to him, so far it’s meant that he got told off because although that was clever, it wasn’t what they were learning. Seems s bit unfair.
yes we are in Scotland clary. He has AAAAC and the course is AAAAA.
he was gutted because as I said he had to take English, even though he got a prize for getting the highest marks that year in that subject.
I went to the school and said he would like to do the course in his own time but they said that wasn’t possible either. The guidance counselor was awful and just talked about his own amazing kids and how our son would probably not want to do maths when he got onto calculus.
thanks guys I appreciate it, I’m just aware of a friends friend who goes to a paid for school and has the most a amazing education.