Friends at college/sixth form

[Pizzamuncher123]

Dd is due to start college for a levels this week.
She has chosen a large college and I think it is the right decision for her. She is a self motivated learner and will love being able to wear her own clothes and having more freedom.
However, her friends have all gone to the local sixth form. She struggled with friendships throughout secondary school but by the end did build up a group of people to hang out with at school. They were a lovely group, studious and without drama but she didn’t really feel close to anyone and they didn’t share her hobbies. She really wants a new start at college and to find some like minded people.
She is feeling anxious about it and I’d love to hear some positive stories about your children’s experiences, especially if they were quiet and struggled with social anxiety. Her SA is much better and she appears to have it ‘under control’ but it is def still a daily struggle.

Sounds a bit like me at that age although I didn't have SA my friendships were a bit mixed through secondary and I was a bit on the outside of any groups. I made a last minute decision to go to a big college instead of my school 6th form, when I arrived there were a few people from my school although no one I had really known before. We buddied up in the early days and then gradually all got to know people from our courses and moved on to new friendships. I am still firm friends with a big group of them 40 years later.

Thank you @EternallyDelighted.
i just want to show her some positive stories to stop her doom mongering.
She knows a couple of people from school and like you say they had lunch together at the induction days so at least she has a bit of a security blanket for the first few days.

Not exactly the same circumstances, but my DN changed schools for sixth form and he has really blossomed and 'found his people'. He sounds a bit like your daughter and has had periods of real social anxiety. He hung out with people at school, but didn't really have close friends and he's found a lovely friendship group and a couple of especially close friends. He's noticeably happier and more confident.
My DD also chose the big college option. Unusually, she's been part of a very tight foursome since Y8 and they are still her best friends. But she's made lots of new friends at college too (as have the others - all on different courses) and has really thrived in that environment.
I really hope it goes well for her.

This sounds like my daughter. She’s with a group however not close to anyone. She’s looking forward to college and hopeful to make some friends who she can be close with.
Can I ask did your daughter go to prom and how did she find it? That’s a worry of mine as I’m wondering how that will work as she goes t doesn’t speak to her “ group” outside of school.

Hi
she did go to prom in the end! We didn’t really speak about prom to keep it all low key, just made it clear that the decision was hers to go or not. Her group did encourage her to go which was lovely and I think it did show that they were more fond of her than she thought. She got a dress that she loved and she got her hair done but she wanted to do her own make up. She was really anxious about going and had a major wobble just before getting in the car but once she was there she had a lovely time. I expected an early phone call but she stayed for whole thing (no after party but that didn’t matter) and she has some fantastic photos of the event. It feel that she had a really good memory to end school. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Thank you for the reply, I’m so pleased your daughter’s school year ended well. Her prom sounds lovely and I hope my daughter has the same experience.
I’m also not mentioning it but worrying g about who she will go with, I feel lots of the girls will be going with their group or friends and hope my daughter is included in that in some way and not having to turn up alone. That’s my main worry.