Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other

[BlackBean2023]

A survival thread for Y12 parents (24/25) now that GCSEs are over and our young people move onto KS5

@bluefineliner
thank you, it really does help to know we aren’t alone and in the grand scale of things it’s a blip in life nothing too dramatic. I only worry as she did struggle with her mental health during lockdown and my greatest fear are those dark days returning. However, she’s showing lots of resilience and strength. I’ve even said that perhaps she will look back and think this was a positive and shoving her into a path hadn’t thought of before.
No chance of changing subject now fortunately. Really wish she’d done it when she initially started to question herself like your daughter did. But hey ho- we move on. 😊
She isn’t settled on a career at the moment- was considering architecture hence the maths but I don’t think she’d be upset if that didn’t happen. Also psychology but I think she’d be ok without maths for that as well.
She’s got an extra session today so see how that goes!
Take me back to those ‘carefree’ toddlers years please! 🙈🙄

@steppemum how did you get on at the Doctors?

@Tebheag I agree and think we are all worriers. DS maths teacher made a good point at parents evening that often at this stage those that have sailed through GCSEs with top grades come a bit unstuck when they face difficulties as they are used to just getting it and haven't built any strategies to cope and it is the students who may have scored equally well at GCSE but had to work harder for it and so have already built their own strategies that are more able to handle the challenge and it takes time for those who sailed through to build resilience. This made a lot of sense to me so it's good that she's showing a lot of resilience and hopefully she'll start to see some daylight again soon. DS seems to be ok at the moment but a bit like @bluefineliner Chem and Bio are much stronger.

I too heaved a sigh of relief when DS (a solid 8 at GCSE) decided not to take maths A Level. His girlfriend did start with maths but swapped to economics as she wasn't doing well (or enjoying the maths course). Is there still the option to swap maths for another subject @Teadrinker81?

I hope your daughter feels better soon @steppemum. DS has had more time off school this year than in his entire secondary school life! So much going on for our young people at the moment - physically, emotionally and intellectually. I hope the doctor has been able to help her

@waspie the cut off for transferring subject was half term I’m afraid.
There is another assessment next week so I suppose it’s time to brace ourselves and see how that goes. I’m hoping she sees an improvement, think her confidence in maths needs a boost. If she could see a significant improvement then I think it will spur her endeavours on, otherwise we need to have some serious conversations with her college. She said tutoring yesterday was really tough so I’m not feeling too positive but still smiling 😉🙄😊 and being her cheerleader!

Does she have friends in the class she could work with outside of school? Perhaps working on things they find tough in a more social setting would be helpful. Does the school have remedial sessions before or after school? DS' school has drop in remedial for all subjects and there's no stigma around going; even the most able students have sticky bits they would appreciate working with a teacher on.

I hope the assessments go well next week and your daughter gets the boost she needs

@Waspie
Great idea- I suggested that but she’s in a class full of boys and she says they stare at her like she’s an alien! 🙄🤣 she has male friends but she hasn’t gelled with anyone. I think that’s part of the problem as she daren’t speak or contribute in class. She says she always did during gcse and liked getting things right
. She has been put in a ‘catch up’ group which has students drawn from several of the a level maths groups but again they are all boys! She had an extra session today so waiting to hear how it went. She said last week was painful! 😊🙄

Dd is facing a problem. She has a laptop for exams however is finding that shes a bit slower and so not finishing exams. Also apparently the ideas arent 'flowing' to her as it does when she writes apparently? The only problem is her handwriting. Do you think it's better for her to improve handwriting or to increase typing speed? It comes after she hasnt finished two important tests , so is wondering whether the laptop is worth it as she doesn't use it at all in class

dd has a chest infection. Started antibiotics yesterday. Not really surprised as she got worse over the weekend rather than better. Quite relieved actually as it means that with the antibiotics she should now get well.

I also had a good chat to her academic support. They have a work experience week coming up and dd is going to be allowed to skip it in order to spend the week catching up, then half term, so by the end of half term, hopefully she will be back on track and well again.
Thanks for all your good wishes.

That is good news @steppemum hopefully she'll start to feel better soon and catch up in the work experience week. Poor thing, it seems so pressured that they feel like they've fallen behind just by missing a few lessons.

@Teadrinker81 your DD sounds exactly like mine! She struggled with her maths class being majority boys (she had gone from a girls school!) and how she lost confidence in answering questions she could have done comfortably before. However she is getting better at this in her other subjects now, it was almost as though she had to 'prove' herself to the others in class to feel she could contribute. She is generally a very confident person too but if they are perfectionists and don't like to get things wrong I think it can overshadow things sometimes. Maybe once your DD has done these tests and can see she is doing ok it will give her some positivity she will improve. It is so hard.

@bluefineliner - our dd do sound spookily similar! 🤣 that’s exactly that she says… she likes to get involved and be thought of by her peers as bright and be someone others go to for help and advice. Unfortunately dd isn’t that confident and does struggle with social anxiety so this is almost her way of making herself heard in a group. She loves to contribute in her other lessons and doesn’t struggle even with giving speeches and presentations. She’s certainly a perfectionist in all areas but keeping her bedroom/bathroom tidy! 😉

My dd uses a laptop.
But she uses it in class and for exams.
personally I think she should use it in class if she is going to use it for exams.
Someone upthread talked about their ds doing a timed writing assessment on laptop and handwriting to see which was faster. Could she do that for herself?

It is a different skill writing by hand compared to on a laptop, on the laptop you can cut and paste to re-organise your thoughts whereas handwriting you have to be planned out before you begin (this is one reason my dd uses it) so the skill needs practise

Oh that's difficult @Teadrinker81 - being reticent to speak in class is a very female trait, especially if the rest of the class are boys and you are nervous. I agree with @bluefineliner, it sounds as though she will settle and find her place, she just needs time and support (which you are giving her in spades) and she will start to feel more comfortable. She will get there I'm sure.

Haha - if there was a GCSE in "Keeping one's bedroom tidy" I suspect most of the year group would fail 😂

I hope the antibiotics do the trick and your daughter can use the WE week to catch up @steppemum

@PinkChaires my son says the same - he likes to write more than type. He is the opposite, he uses a tablet in lessons and then organises these into revision notes. I agree with steppemum that if she is using a laptop in exams it would be beneficial to use it in class too. Would a beginners typing course help? If she can type quickly and fluently this might help the words and thoughts flow.

DS is raving about an app he's started using to compile revision notes and flash cards called "Study Smarter". He is using the free version to test it but thinks it might be worth the investment to upgrade to the full version. Apparently it picks up all of your revision notes then sorts and compiles them for you and creates flash cards. You tell it the subjects, exam board and modules.

@waspie study smarter sounds great- stop dd from spending too much time making her revision cards look beautiful!

My DD is also doing maths and is the only girl in her class. She says she doesn't contribute much, but the teachers keep an eye on her. To be fair, the boys know she is a maths whizz, so don't say anything!! She loves math!!
English however is causing her much hassle!!!

Time is flying by for my DS. He is finishing his Maths A level syllabus tomorrow. (He is doing Maths y12 and FM in y13). It's past papers and revision now until the exam. This seems extraordinary and quite scary to think that he is already prepping for his first A level! Eek.

Dd finally got a job! She’s doing a football based kids club called Little Kickers, she loves kids so is really pleased, sounds like they’re offering regular hours and paid training but treating her as self-employed, I’m hoping it’s going to be fair, offer letter says shes to submit an invoice monthly (and that they’ll show her how) and they’ll pay her 5 days later.

Shes also booked her driving test for July, she’s wanting me to take her out practicing on the weekends, which I’m finding very stressful!!

@wonderstuff congratulations to your DD! Sounds like a fun job. My eldest DD many years ago spent the 2 summers of her degree in Colorado coaching kids in 'soccer'. She had the time of her life and gave her a taste for travel which has never gone.

Great that she has her driving test booked too, how long did she take to do her theory test? My DD starts to learn in a couple of months and has been told to get her theory done asap so she can book a practical (there is a 6 month wait for them round here apparently). Only thing that may go in DDs favour is she is great at 'tests' and has an amazing memory so could hopefully pass it early on.

@bluefineliner theory didn’t take long, I think she booked it just after her birthday and it was only a few weeks, we did go to a centre that wasn’t the most local. She had an app on her phone that guaranteed she’d pass or would pay for the next test, it gives lots of practice questions and tells you when it thinks you’re ready. Dd is also quite good at tests, but not the most coordinated so actually driving i think she’s finding tricky.

Good luck to your son @SunblockSue. That's a lot to do in a year. Is he doing maths and FM in one subject block or two?

Well done to your daughter @wonderstuff I hope she enjoys it. DS coaches "little ones" in tennis and enjoys it. He's thinking of doing "Camp America" at the end of year 13. Perhaps similar to your eldest daughter @bluefineliner?

DS has his theory test booked for during the easter holidays. Our local test centre was offering late February as the earliest but as he's only had one lesson so far he needs time to practice and read the Highway code! @wonderstuff is the app your daughter used the one from the DVSA? DS has the books and flashcards (donated by a friend who recently passed) but I'd like to get a theory test app.

@Waspie dd also wants to do camp America, she says the us schools break up before A levels so they can’t do it at the end of y13, but rather the next summer.
The app was called theory 4 in 1.

My DD also used the 4 in 1 theory test app. She found the knowledge bit relatively easy, but needed quite a bit of practice to get the knack of the developing hazard videos.

That's a shame about Camp America - I think DS was quite looking forward to doing something so very different after his exams.

Thank you both @wonderstuff and @JessyCarr I will tell DS to get this app today. Driving lesson number 2 this afternoon!

Morning all, it's hard when the kids are struggling.

DS seems to have turned a corner a bit this week despite having a terrible cold.
He's still unsure if university is his best option so we have booked a couple of apprenticeship open evenings and a jobs fair, just to get a feel for other options.

🤞 we have work experience sorted too. HR at the NHS trust I work for. That's another of my insomnia worries ticked off hopefully.

Hope the longer days and some sunshine help everyone's well-being

Well we've had a couple of email from school this week about trips to Oxford and Cambridge and a careers fair coming up soon so things are moving forward on the next steps front.

DD is considering going to the Cambridge trip but I think its only to accompany her friend who will be applying. We had a couple of hours yesterday looking at Uni courses online which was good as I feel she is really starting to think about what to study and comparing modules on the same course at different unis. It is surprising how different some of the course modules are.

So far we have identified Manchester/Warwick/Keele/Leeds/Birmingham so a lot to research. DD does seem to know what she does NOT want to study though so it is helping her close in on the most fitting courses.

Quite exciting!