Ds planning to quit before A level exams !

[stirling]

Any advice gratefully received.
DS is currently in a crisis, two months before his upcoming final a level exams, he's thinking of " not doing them " because apparently good unis won't consider resits.

Slight backstory, incredibly bright , all 9s at GCSE, fine throughout Y12 except that he spent the entire year 24/7 with a new girlfriend, obsessive relationship. Ridiculous, they were literally living together. No work.
Applied to Oxford and froze when challenged with the MAT paper, despite some prep (obviously not enough because he was otherwise occupied!)

The mat test was catastrophic. Not only did he lose that application and imperial too, he's scuppered up his capacity to perform in school tests, mock exams....he's just freezing. Was predicted all A*s but now unlikely to get Bs or C's as he's freezing.

He thinks quitting now means he gets an extra year to get it right.
I'm despairing.

All unis applied to are London Russell group, wouldn't take on advice to include a backup uni.

Thank you

certainly ask - it does not depend on the school though. Schools are told who they will get funding for, I am not being specific, because these things change regularly and I am not sure I am up to date. Previously the criteria was

a) under 19 on Sept first
b) studying at a higher level than they studied last year.

We sometimes got around that higher level stuff by swapping pupils with another school, and saying the last full year they did was first year sixth, and this is a higher level. We could fudge. But we could not get funding for a resit year for any of our own students, in any circumstances.

Then there is the possibility of "carrying" a "guest". That is when a school takes a pupil without funding. The number of guests that can be carried is decided early on the previous year, and most of the time, for most schools, it is 1 or none. I worked in an exceptionally large school and we were able to carry 2 guests in the sixth form, normally both in the second year. There would normally be around 20 prospective candidates to be guests every year.

What I am saying is, just because you are aware of one person doing it, does not mean it is possible or likely for another to do it.

I think you should also consider whether if he did take them, he'd actually be OK going away from home and at university. This could get worse if not resolved and you wouldn't be on hand for support. There is a huge pressure on the way to Russell group but it doesn't instantly stop once you get there.
I think if you can find a way, you are better to get him off the conveyor belt and try to help him find a way to manage this. Such a level of recognition and unwaivering support will have such an impact. Helping him finding ways to manage it now will help him throughout his life; he has his whole life ahead, not just school and uni. Also universities have to be careful to not discrimate for health issues, a year taken to get on top of health issue can be explained away. You may all have to truly think about whether the pressure and demands of Russell group is the way to go, a step back may help you all see its not the be all and end all, his happiness is most important.

Thank you everyone. Yes that's very true that the pressure won't stop once he's into a Russell group uni.
Agree the pressure he's putting on himself for perfectionism is immense but also feel he just wants recognition for once. Ten 9s at GCSE, never accepted at any selective schools/colleges, my understanding is he wants to for once be somewhere 'worthy '

I know people can restart y12, usually on a different course.
Don't know abut y13.
If he is allowed to just redo y13 that gives him an extra year to get over his exam anxiety (or another year to build it up to be an even bigger thing...)

This is maths and so you need to be very careful about taking any time out. Many universities won't allow it.

Check the funding situation with school
Talk to him about clearing options. What are his current university offers?

if it’s maths he wants to study I’d phone the admissions dept and ask there advice. What would they look at most favourably? They will have seen it all before because truly gifted mathematicians peak very young and need lots of support to reach their potential. As far as university goes, it’s a really challenging transition and I’d want him somewhere with exemplary pastoral care.

He does know that the Russell Group is just a self assembled marketing group?

TomeTome that's a really interesting point. I know nothing about the world of maths .

Yes the whole hype around Russell group is so frustrating, drives the same level of hysteria as the whole 11+ ordeal.

Maths is tough but is also a world that can be kind to eccentric people and unusual approaches.

At university level, it is possible for a student to apply for 'suspension of studies' for a year which just lets them pause everything and come back a year later. It can often successfully be used for a mental health break. See if the school can offer the same.

if your ds decides to take a year out, could he do something fun but techie like coding (if he doesn't already) or the various online maths challenges. there can also be roles tutoring younger kids with maths or helping out at a coding club that might be of interest. Those kind of things might give him confidence that his skills are useful in the real world and that passing exams is not everything. They would also be impressive on a UCAS form or job application one day.

I’d really advise you to talk to someone who does know about higher level maths. They will be very familiar with these sort of difficulties. Their response to your questions should also drive his choice of university.

Have you been to the doctor , loads of students take betablockers (I think that's what they used to take) to reduce panic attacks.you need to do it before it gets any nearer the exams.
In terms if tmfunding, I think you get 3 years funding, so maybe his best bet would be to ask if he can repeat y13.I feel the school will raje a very dim view of pulling out at this stage.Also the fact that he us in this position, not through suffering some misfortune, but because he passed y12 away, may influence their willingness to allow him to retake y13.

Sorry didn't have my glasses so lots of typos!
*He pissed Y12 away

It sounds like he's struggling with academic pressure and burnout - possibly he was putting too much pressure on himself with the MAT and has now got into a spiral where it's all hopeless and his self-confidence is at rock bottom because he hasn't achieved what he wanted to anyway.

I'd suggest speaking to the school and getting some counselling in place - whether via school or by biting the bullet and paying privately because it's pretty urgent - as the first port of call. It may be that he carries on studying for the time being, and that you can make a decision after Easter after he's had a few sessions about whether he sits the exams - possibly with some special measures in place, like sitting the exam in a quieter, smaller room with a member of staff, rather than in the exam hall where it might feel less intense, or whether he defers the year, concentrates on getting well and maybe doing some things that will help boost his confidence, and tries again.

Thank you everyone so many good suggestions.
Doctor almost prescribed beta blockers today but realised he'd had some symptoms around COVID which could cause problems. I'll get some therapy organised and like the suggestion to review after Easter. Manageable steps.