Year 13 2024 - General support thread part 2

[Rollergirl11]

All welcome as our young people head in to their last full term before the summer exams. Between UCAS applications, receiving offers/rejections, learning to drive and taking driving tests, revising for mocks and sitting them the pace hasn’t let up for our DC.

This thread has been a lovely supportive and immensely helpful place to talk as we guide our DC’s through this challenging time!

Old thread here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/further_education/4851165-year-13-20232024-general-support-thread?page=40&reply=132323436

Comparisons with peers are really tough at this age, empathising.

She sounds super driven and I’m sure this will be a real asset in years to come.

That sounds tough. Who is your punchbag? Mine is DH 😂

I wish it could have happened without 3 close friends getting offers…

@MirandaWest a difficult, awkward and painful scenario for your DD but surely you wouldn’t prefer that her close friends, who she presumably cares about, got rejected too?

@SooperOuting thank you, that made me laugh out loud. And yes, snap

Not all of them no but I am only human and maybe one of them could have got rejected too? (Sorry am probably licking my own wounds a bit here so I can maintain a generally calm state of mind for DD)

I think it’s fair enough to not want all your DC friends to get offers if they personally got rejected. It’s human nature.

Yes I can see that only 2 of them getting offers as opposed to 3 would have probably felt less hurtful.

Sorry to hear your news @MirandaWest
It really is hard when friends are successful. My now adult DD is a dancer and I have been on both sides of this scenario when she and her best friend auditioned for the same roles in shows, associate schemes, full time training etc and it was always so much easier if they were either both successful or both unsuccessful. I can't deny that it was harder to take rejections for DD if her friend was chosen - no matter how much you care about the friend they are still not your child and it does kind of rub salt into the wound. That said, when it was the other way around it wasn't easy either as we'd want to celebrate but always felt we had to tone it down a bit because we knew best friend and her parents were sad. I'm pretty sure they felt the same way too.
I don't have any wise words other than to say that I have some idea how you feel and that it does get better with time. And I do genuinely believe that our fabulous young people can thrive wherever they end up.

I wasn’t being unsympathetic to @MirandaWest btw, I was being a bit tongue in cheek. But as I said earlier today, I’m going through a tough time right now with my DD’s health. To be frank, that sort of thing does rather put things into perspective... I’m sorry however that I posted a wry comment questioning a reaction. Nor should I have posted about DD’s health as it’s not the time or place, obviously today should be focused on Cambridge (or Oxford, in Miranda’s case) rejections. I’m going to leave you to it but sincerely wish all your young people well and feel for those rejected by Oxbridge, as I hope my comment to @Rollergirl11 today & others in the past shows

Don’t worry @WriterOfWrongs I appreciate your comment was tongue in cheek and I shouldn’t have replied the way I did. I don’t want to be part or all of a reason for you to feel you can’t post here - everyone’s situations are their own and are valid and there is more to life than university offers.

@WriterOfWrongs I am so sorry your DD is having a hard time again. I know how rough that can be

@MirandaWest sorry your DD is finding it hard, I do hope that she can start feeling a bit more positive soon.

Too all of our other DC, especially the Oxbridge redirected, it's been a tough couple of weeks. This will pass.

@MirandaWest - it is hard to see your child sad and disappointed while all their friends are celebrating. My commiserations.

We are STILL waiting on Bath. They had better hurry up as ds had a successful interview at Lancaster yesterday and they're sending him an offer which will be reduced if he firms them. He's tempted.

Thanks @MirandaWest & @lifeturnsonadime

Ok. So NOT still waiting on Bath! Offer just received via UCAS. They're working overtime tonight! DS very chuffed as that's all five offers in although we await formal confirmation from Lancaster following his interview. We should get that within the week.

Great news @QueenMabby
That's a nice, though in a way difficult position to be in. Does your DS have a strong preference? Bath and Lancaster both great options though very different I would imagine.

@MrsAvocet - ds will get a reduced offer from Lancaster as a result of his interview - but only if he firms them I think. He likes them both so we'll go to an offer holder day at Bath and see how it feels. Also we'll look at mock results etc. and talk to school but yes. It's a tricky choice. A nice position to be in though.

I think he's fairly certain Keele will be his insurance but again we'll do another visit and have a think. Obviously it's his final decision but he's sensible and happy to chat it through and take advice.

Congratulations @QueenMabby! It must be nice to have all offers in and I’ve heard so many great things about Bath.

@QueenMabby my eldest is at Bath and my youngest has firmed Lancaster! Both are fantastic universities.

Congratulations @QueenMabby and to those with more offers in.

Ds got his first mock result back - borderline for his predicted grade due to quite a few 'silly' mistakes. Also he was distracted by preparing for uni interviews which I'm sure hasn't helped. He'd have preferred a more convincing grade but still time to make the grade solid. He's slightly anxious about the other results now but I've told him to chill for a few weeks now and get a proper rest (well, as much as you can at this stage of year 13).

Sorry to hear about your dd's health problems @WriterOfWrongs. Not easy dealing with that and supporting yr 13/uni applications too.

Sympathies to anyone in the not-oxbridge crew. Mocks were apparently very hard here and ds has warned us 'everyone's doing really badly'. Our last parents' evening approaches - as usual, 5 minutes per teacher, online. Only once in his whole secondary career - last term- has he received actual words written on his report. I won't miss this bit!
He's also worrying he can't write fast enough in exams to get all the material in (essay subjects). I'm not sure how to help at this stage- is it common ?

DD is feeling a little despondent after her mocks, too. It’s pissed me off as she needs the self confidence to do well. She also struggled with time, the only thing I’ve suggested is that she does more practice questions and papers and times herself but she says there’s no point doing them until she has learned all the content. I try to politely point out it might be good to do a few timed practice questions at the end of each topic but then I get this.

We have mocks results on Wednesday. I'm hoping that they don't mark them too harshly - ds definitely responds better to a carrot than a stick!

He didn't finish either of his maths papers. I will be suggesting more practice questions - particularly the 6-10 mark ones which are multi-step.

Parents' eve in person on Thursday. Still only 5 mins appointments. This is the last one before a levels and I was hoping for a bit longer.

I didn't realise parents evenings are still a think in sixth form?

Year12 there are two weeks of study leave while all students have the opportunity to book and dial in for a chat with their teachers for 10 minutes. No expectation that parents dial in as well (they are during the day). I did persuade DS1 to let me join in for the second review (summer term) but one of his subjects doesn't follow the same program so didn't do this. Year13 there is one review which was last term - again only two of the subjects were available and I didn't realise it was happening thus didn't badger DS1 to be invited.

So I've met two teachers for 10 minutes online once, and I don't even know the name of the third teacher (ironically the subject DS1 may want to study beyond college).

I do have the email address of his tutor (form tutors don't teach at this college) and of course the attendance officer, whose weekly email updates I wake up to with dread every Saturday! I can't decide if I should reply to this week's report and let them know that I know DS1 was both absent and late one day this week; I was in the car with him, 150m behind the 7:30 bus, 2km behind the 6:30 bus and that I was also 1 hour 45 minutes later for work. But I don't think I will as the college is fairly inflexible - mocks start next week and there is no dispensation or willingness to move exams (even to a later start time)
if they fall on a train strike day - the student will just fail.

I'm actually thinking of booking a travel lodge for the days when DS1 has his morning ALevel exams in the summer.

That sounds so stressful my blood pressure is rising just reading it.

I get it for the real thing but for mocks that seems just inhumane on train strike days.