Has anyone had experience of no friends at 6th form?

[Timelime]

If so, was there anything the school or college were able to do to help?

DD is in a unique situation. She went to a college knowing no-one. Studying a boy-heavy BTEC, she's the only female. And as it's a BTEC she's stuck with just the boys. No separate tutor group. She's friendly enough with the boys but the group dynamic is off with it being all boys and one girl, so she doesn't socialise outside of college with them. She just wants some female friends. Friends from old school have fallen away.

She's now in Year 13 and resigned to just getting through college to the end and hoping life will improve after but I think that having no opportunities for new social connections is not healthy for a 17/18 year old. Her tutor has been useless when I contacted her earlier this year. But they don't see their tutors very often anyway and I think they are overworked and worrying about the kids who have severe problems. There weren't many clubs available to join and the college classes are timetabled in big blocks so it's easy to just be in college when you have a class and not be in at all when you have study periods.

DD doesn't want any intervention, so I am not sure what I am asking here. I just wish I could help her. I feel there would be things she could join if she were lonely at University but the college don't have anything for those who haven't found their people.

I guess I'm looking to hear of others' experiences and wondering if I should go over Dd's head and speak to college again but what can they do anyway?

DS started in covid, he’s been there for three years now (when on to HE in the same place). He’s never really made any friends, it’s so sad. He has social anxiety and Covid cemented this. I’ve tried getting him to join clubs etc or some sort of therapy but he doesn’t want to do it.

Sorry for your DSs experience. Those COVID years did not help. Does he do anything outside of college?

She needs to look at other avenues to meet people if college isn’t working out socially - part time job? Volunteering? Hobby group?

You can absolutely speak to college but depending on the set up there may not be too much they can do - especially at this point of Y13, where the students have got less than five months left, a month of which is half terms and Easter.

She volunteers once a week. No sociable hobbies sadly. She'll look for p/t job again after January exams. She had a job in year 12 but it wasn't an ideal place to work.

I think I'd just appreciate if someone checked in with her in case it is bothering her more than she lets on at home. They were mindful of her set-up at the beginning of year 12, usually there are a few girls on that course. Nothing this year though.

If they were mindful of her set up to start and there’s been no issues that they’re aware of since, why would they check in again? They’ll assume it’s fine. With it being college they don’t have complete oversight of the student as they’re just not there when not in class.

if you want someone to check in with her, definitely ask them - they should have pastoral staff for that, but there is a limited amount they can do to generate friendship at this stage.

that said, if your DD has managed this long, it’s likely she’s just mature enough to see it as a means to an end and she’ll find her tribe in what she does next. No friends at sixth form (especially if you move for it) is FAR more common than you’d expect.

@Timelime thank you for sharing. I feel for you. My Ds hangs around hardly with friends since year 8( when covid stuck) He is on ASD and has communication issues so it is difficult. But I feel exactly like you. As @Bunnyannesummers suggested activities / resources outside college could help. Ds volunteers during half terms and enjoys socialising there.