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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Original poster

Please help. Daughter booted from A level college, after only 4 weeks. What now?

99 replies

GroanWoman · 28/09/2023 14:13

DD(17) has been asked to give up her A level course after 3.5 weeks.
She has anxiety, depression, ASD. She wasn't going to many lessons or doing work.
Staff worried about her wandering around campus. So fair enough, I guess: she just can't do it.

But what now? She's 17, so is meant to be in education. She wants to do A levels, but it's already well into term, so she won't be able to go anywhere else. There are online courses, but they all have exams in central and southern England and we're in West Wales. Also, she failed GCSE Maths, so many places wouldn't let her onto a course anyway (she was redoing it in college alongside her A levels).

The other problem is that the online courses are expensive. Surely she should have free education at 17?

No idea what we're supposed to do or if we're supposed to log her having left her course with anyone.

Can anyone advise? I'm so distressed now.

Thanks.

OP posts:
caerdydd12 · 28/09/2023 14:22

I'm not sure looking straight into other courses is the best course of action right now. She says she wants to do A Levels but after only 4 weeks she wasn't attending lessons or doing work, would this be any different anywhere else?

Maybe look for an apprenticeship instead. She might be more minded to learn in an "on the job setting."

EmmaEmerald · 28/09/2023 14:24

Did they tell her to leave while offering no support? That doesn't sound right.

TotalOverhaul · 28/09/2023 14:25

Have you tried ringing the college to ask what they recommend if she is legally supposed to be in education? Bit odd that they boot her out so quickly instead of supporting her.

Are there local schools that could take her after the half term break? culd she go down to two A levels, to take some pressure off?

Most important of all, she needs some professional support to manage her anxiety, depression and ASD. Look for a school or college with a far better SEN/counselling pastoral ethos than that college. It sounds useless.

MariePaperRoses · 28/09/2023 14:26

Only 3.5 weeks in? They haven't had you and her in for a chat about putting a plan in place to offer more support?

Or is there more to it?

I think you need a chat with them to find out exactly what has happened.

Kaill · 28/09/2023 14:27

If she has anxiety and depression I would take her to the doctor and get a medical exemption so she doesn’t have to attend a job or educational setting for the time being. Report to the education authority that she is off sick. Then get her some therapy and support with the goal of trying again next September. Trying to push her into an alternative situation right now won’t help, her issues need to be addressed and supported first. In the long run you may find that BTEC is a more supportive environment than A level (and worth the same UCAS points for going to university).

Moveoverdarlin · 28/09/2023 14:27

Let her work somewhere for a year, a coffee shop, hairdressers, restaurant, anything like that. Sign her up to a touch typing course, IT course, anything that just adds a string to her bow. Then tell her by next May she needs to think about what she wants to do, study, work full time, travel.

Oblomov23 · 28/09/2023 14:32

You seem to be looking at this all wrong. You haven't actually addressed the core problems of why she was wandering round college, but not engaging. She won't engage anywhere else either until you address the core issue.

WhyHasAllTheRumGone · 28/09/2023 14:32

I agree with @Kaill

egowise · 28/09/2023 14:35

I find this very worrying.

Why haven't they supported her? Have they offered any reasonable adjustments for her disability? There are plenty of things that can be put in place to support your daughter.

Not even a month in and they are kicking her out?

Call them and ask what support they have offered and how she has responded.

Seaweed42 · 28/09/2023 14:35

Have you rung the college and spoken to them? Ring and make an appointment to go in. They usually have very supportive services to help students.
That's the first thing to do is to actually connect with a human being there.
It sounds like you yourself are keeping a distance from it all, for some reason.

She's only 3 weeks in, maybe all is not lost. They want people to stay, not drop out.

HotApplePiePunch · 28/09/2023 14:37

The age of compulsory education is 16 still in Wales - which doesn't help as while a few leave for world of work it's usually low paid or with training attached.

Wales A-levels are AS levels Y12 exams - either cash out or it's 40% of A-level - and I haven't seen any on-line ones of them. It's very early in kicking someone of a course with no other options suggested as well.

Is she being treated for the anxiety and depression and is the ASD diagnosed and SEN support in place - because i would have expected a bit more.

You could look at other post 16 provision - it will depend what you have locally- and probably could still start even 3.5 weeks in - but is her mental health in good enough condition - if not then that would have to come first.

There is 3 years funded post 16 for all students - and I believe in some case up to 20 with certain conditions - so there is time to get her well and back with something.

Viviennemary · 28/09/2023 14:38

When she filled in the enrolment form there should have been a place for disabilities and asking of she needs support. If the college was made aware wouldn't allowances have been made. I agree with contacting the college. They can't just chuck somebody out. There are procedures in place.

But if the course was too intense it may have been a case of the wrong course in which case a transfer to a different course should have been an option. Are you sure she hasn't just left.

MentholLoad · 28/09/2023 14:39

my daughter dropped out of college without completing her ALevels. she worked in a kitchen for a year to make my ney. she has been doing an apprenticeship for the last 6 months and loves it. they are going to pay for her to do a degree

HotApplePiePunch · 28/09/2023 14:41

I also think contacting the college is the way to go - find out what support they were offering and what she needed.

While she actually doesn't have to be in education or training like in England post 16 I'd still expect them to be helpful.

Oldthyme · 28/09/2023 14:43

Moveoverdarlin · 28/09/2023 14:27

Let her work somewhere for a year, a coffee shop, hairdressers, restaurant, anything like that. Sign her up to a touch typing course, IT course, anything that just adds a string to her bow. Then tell her by next May she needs to think about what she wants to do, study, work full time, travel.

This! ^
Give her time and space. Stay calm.
Stuff college. My brother did his A levels at night school in his early 20’s then went to college as a mature student.

Original poster
GroanWoman · 28/09/2023 14:44

Firstly, thank you all so, so much for your suggestions and comments.

To answer some questions... this is her second year at this college as she resat some GCSEs there last year. Last year didn't go well, so they're seeing that things haven't improved despite the support they've put in place.

She'd been under CAMHS since she was 7. was discharged from the consultant psych about 18 months ago, and doesn't often see her new doctor but should do next week. She's been on the same medication for years, but things are getting worse.

She's adamant she wants to do A Levels and is more than capable, but it's hard for her to go into college and be amongst others. She feels everyone is staring at her and hates her. Her anxiety is through the roof. If she'd had different medication perhaps she'd be able to cope with the social side.

She doesn't want to take time out from education.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 28/09/2023 14:46

Was the college aware of all of these things? If so, especially with ASD, I would have expected some kind of meeting with the college to discuss any additional support or adjustments that may be required to help her settle and get on there?

I would also say, be careful with her just “leaving”, I believe if she’s physically kicked out then that’ll be very different to her being “asked” and then leaving of her own accord.

Original poster
GroanWoman · 28/09/2023 14:48

We were in the meeting today at college, this is where we were told. DD apparently has an LSA, but doesn't want someone sitting with her in class. There are places she can go when she's distressed, but she's not been going there.
She's so distressed about having no friends in college, and there often 1-3 hour gaps in the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
GroanWoman · 28/09/2023 14:49

Sorry, yes, college have always been aware of her problems and needs.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 28/09/2023 14:50

Have you spoke to her about why she doesn’t want to utilise the support available to her, the LSA and these places?

Depending on the college, is she able to come home during longer breaks? Or is she able to go off site, for example my sixth form was round the corner from a row of shops/cafes, if I had a 2 hour break I would often go grab a coffee then go and sit in the library?

MentholLoad · 28/09/2023 14:50

GroanWoman · 28/09/2023 14:48

We were in the meeting today at college, this is where we were told. DD apparently has an LSA, but doesn't want someone sitting with her in class. There are places she can go when she's distressed, but she's not been going there.
She's so distressed about having no friends in college, and there often 1-3 hour gaps in the day.

if she wants to do A Levels, sounds like she would be better doing them at a night class then, where she goes in just to do her lesson and doesn't have to hang round and endure the social teenage aspect?

Mariposista · 28/09/2023 14:51

She wants to do A Levels, doesn't want to take time out from education. All very commendable, but she is just not well enough to cope with it at the moment, is she? Hardly attending lessons or doing any work is not going to get her anywhere, she will just fail and that will make her feel even worse.
Absolutely not a criticism. Adolescent MH crises are absolutely horrible for both the one suffering and the family. But she needs to work on her health to be able to deal with the challenges of the course.

pinksavannah · 28/09/2023 14:54

"She feels everyone is staring at her and hates her."

This really stood out to me as this was how I felt at her age ( and younger) I also had anxiety and depression, medication alone likely wouldn't help, talking therapy is needed so she doesn't feel that way anymore

Also anything to increase confidence, drama/ acting classes really helped me , as I could pretend to be someone else first

I really hope she can get some help OP Flowers

Original poster
GroanWoman · 28/09/2023 14:54

Being asked to leave or leaving... I'm not sure which it was. We were told that it just wasn't working. DD agreed. Then there was talk about focussing on her getting better, looking at things that suited her better...
it made sense.
But it's a shame not to be doing this at the right time, and mixing with others. We live out in the sticks, so she's very socially isolated.

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 28/09/2023 14:54

are you near surrey? there is a government all girls austic school there.

I have twins in 6th form - unfortunately there will be gaps in any 6th formers day as its for independent study like uni.

sorry I don't have any answers but I do know its not too late to move her to another 6th form if you can find a place who will take her. Its not too late up until the half term break really. Lots of kids have not suited their first 6th form choice and are moving schools about now.

Limpsfield Grange School – Together we make a difference

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https://limpsfieldgrange.co.uk/

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