DS and College

[AKAsomeoneelse]

Just wanted to offload a bit and maybe someone can reassure me a bit.

DS hasn’t had the best start to college so far. Firstly he hasn’t been allowed to transfer to the BTEC Business course he wanted to do. The college requires 5’s in English and maths and he has 4’s. The reason they’ve given is because they also offer a slightly lower level 3 Business and marketing course and they say it’s a better fit for him so he should stick with that. He’s accepted this but is a bit disappointed.

He is also regretting going to college a bit because most of his friends have stayed on at sixth form and he is missing them. I really think he would struggle with A’levels as he has always struggled academically and only got 2 grade 5’s and the rest 4’s. However some of his friends got similar results and yet somehow have managed to get in. It makes me wonder if he should have tried but then I know he can’t just choose sixth form because of his friends.

He hasn’t really made any new friends yet but he knows it’s still v early days. I am feeling a bit sad for him but obviously not showing it and trying to be upbeat and positive. I know we are both hoping for too much too soon but I hate seeing him upset and anxious. I’m keeping everything crossed that things start to fall in place soon.

I think doing A levels with mainly grade 4s would be likely to not turn out well.

It sounds as if he is on the best course for him. Hope it goes well.

@TeenDivided - thanks for the reassurance. This is what I thought too but was doubting myself.

It may not really be a 'lower' course, it may just not require so much maths / English skill. You wouldn't want him on a course where he was struggling with the maths or to express complex ideas clearly.

@AKAsomeoneelse we are in the same position and yet to start college tomorrow for induction. Wants familiarity of school and friends but did not achieve grades, given lower BTech level, (which Ds s fine with because Ds knows its better to be confident than not cope) on mild ASD. I understand our heart breaks seeing our DC unhappy. I think once they get settled in few weeks they will be fine and will have new friends. I also read few messages/posts to Ds where many have same concerns and also asked Ds to chat with school year group about their experience which helped. Good luck to you both and hope it will go well. 🤞

@Hopeforb - thank you. DS has dyslexia and dyspraxia so I think the course he is on is probably the right level and, as you say, better for them to be confident with what they are doing. It’s a bit frustrating because other colleges in the area would have accepted him for the higher BTEC but they are further away.

Fingers crossed for both our DC and hopefully we’ll be posting in a couple of weeks to say how much they are enjoying themselves.

@AKAsomeoneelse my niece has dyslexia and compared to her year group she studied lower level up until A levels which boosted confidence as she coped well and now at 27 she is successful Commercial artist after completing 3 years degree course and an year of post graduation. Yes our DC will get there and enjoy in few weeks.

@AKAsomeoneelse you said Ds has dyslexia. Was it not worth appealing on SEN grounds in his school? You said others with similar grades could get in.

@Hopeforb - I think both DS and I know that sixth form/A’levels is not the right path for him really, he is just sad that most of his friends are there and he misses them and I was trying to find a way of fitting him in like a square peg in a round hole. Having struggled academically for so long, I’m hoping this course will suit his way of learning better and give him a bit of confidence in his abilities. I think the friends who have just scraped their way in might not last that long when they realise what a huge step up A’levels are!

The good news is that today he finished early and ended up going in to town for McDonalds with another boy 😀 Baby steps ...

@AKAsomeoneelse that's absolutely right. I thought his school offers BTech as well but he couldn't get in because of lower grades.

Lovely that he is making new friends😊

My DS is similar, started college which academically is right for him but left all his friends at school sixth form. He has been missing them and not clicked so far with anyone at college though it’s only been 3 days. He told me it helped him when I said that he should look at it as a job (it’s a vocational course), he’s only in 3 days a week and has plenty of friends from school he can see. It’s really hard for them though but I’m hoping it will get easier as time goes on.

@gegs73 I know its hard. Yesterday my Ds met a friend from his school doing different course in same college and rather than going together for lunch both of them went to different places because Ds said both of them talked how upset they are due to the fact they had to leave the school.😞It was only 3rd day yesterday so hopefully they all will find their footings.

Ah he will be fine, can take a term to settle in. he shouldn't give up.

My Ds is in a similar position - didn’t pass the GCSE’s in the subjects he wanted to do A levels- was planning to stay on in sixth form so the adaptation is quite hard . Give it a couple of weeks

Any suggestions if resit for higher grades is good in November or next year?

He really shouldn’t do A levels, his present level of course sounds good and he will make friends over time.

@AKAsomeoneelse Let your son know that you are proud of him.

Also he has left the school environment and gone to college which can take some adjustment at first but let him know that he has made a brave decision to make a change from some of his peers and has gone out of his comfort zone.

Thanks for the latest replies.
@4lennahcnosloohcsvti - thanks, yes I’ve told him I’m proud but good advice to praise him for stepping out of his comfort zone and doing what is right for him.

I hope all those struggling settle in soon and find their tribe.