Disapointing GCSE results

[happysunflour]

So DS got three 9s, three 8s, a 7 and two 6s for his GCSEs and his disappointment is so huge that he doesn't come out of his room ALL DAY. He is regarded as an academic child and I can see he expected him to have done better. But are they that bad for an academic child?? OK he could have done better in some areas but I still think they are good enough and however the results I would like him to celebrate the end of the stressful year. Perhaps he has friends who got all 9s or something I don't know. How could I tell him he did just fine??

I think those are great results but they aren’t my results. I think I would let him get on with it today but beyond that I think I’d have a word. Did he do some GCSEs in year 10?

Errr.... that's really good results isn't it? What is he upset about? Are they what's required for the next stage of what he is doing? If yes - then (no offence) he needs to get a grip.

They are really good results! Maybe if he was predicted all 8s and 9s, or all his friends have higher, he might feel disappointed. It all boils down to how hard he worked. If he worked really hard, then they are not quite outstanding but he could still do really well in A levels if he chooses the right subjects. If he didn't really do any revision, then maybe he will learn to put the work in early on.

These are excellent grades. In the last few years we’ve started to lose sight of how good a set of grades that is.

I’ve been in school for results day today and have had to (really nicely and gently) tell some kids with similar grades to get a grip. Obviously not in those words, but it’s really unhealthy for them to tie up so much of their self-worth in exam grades. As long as he can do what he wants next, he really needs to be reassured that those are excellent grades. I’ve seen students go to Oxford or Cambridge with less.

Ditto @Takoneko
That’s an excellent set of results - and particularly for this year. I understand the disappointment though, I’m guessing he was predicted to be a straight 8/9 student? If so it does feel HUGE to not achieve those. Tell him that it is political meddling, when compared to his cohort nationally he’s done AMAZINGLY and that beyond today nobody will really care about his GCSE results 😀
If he’s still down about it, perhaps look into having a review of marking. The school should advise if he was near a grade boundary.

That’s an excellent set of results, it’s a shame he is disappointed.

I have a very academic DS1 who I think would have reacted the same way to be honest! It’s difficult when they have such high expectations of themselves! it’s awful to watch and hard to know how to support.

In my money (old style) that was what was called 7As and 2Bs, which not even the brightest kids would have been disappointed with. I guess it's OK to aim really high though, and also to be disappointed if you don't meet your own really high targets, and to learn to deal with your disappointment positively - by reflecting, developing resilience and refining your approaches to A levels, which will be much harder than GCSEs. If the worst thing you have to deal with in life is getting 7As and 2Bs, you will have led a charmed existence!

I don't think even Oxford, Cambridge or MIT would rule out any course on the basis of these grades, although that is because tests, interviews A level results (and in the case of MIT community commitment) will give them much more information.

I do remember being a little disappointed with my A level results in a year where all the newspapers said 'Best Results Ever!' and were full of grinning faces of people who got all As. I was happy for my friends getting to follow their chosen routes, but it did strike me that the papers love to tell half the story and ignore the other half, and just because 0.5% of pupils did better than last year (or in this case, slightly better than pre-covid), for most pupils the papers were about as hard as ever. We thought we would put in an appeal on one of our daughter's grades - I found it strangely reassuring to be knocked back, as they changed the appeals system to only change grades that were clearly wrong rather than to just give a second bite of the cherry on a borderline case. That seems fairer for pupils who put their faith in the system, or can't afford to appeal.

I think it's such a shame (and this is particuarly true in academic schools) that students get fantastic results like those and feel disappointed. Yes, they might have been lower grades than he personally thought he was capable of, but that doesn't detract from the fact that they are amazing.

Fine to be slightly disappointed, but it needs to be kept in proportion. Are those results actually stopping him moving on to do what he wants?

Wow he must have been under an enormous amount of pressure to be upset at those grades. How bizarre.
Is this even a serious post?? You really don't know that those are good grades?

Those are amazing grades! You as his parent must know that, right? Go and tell him how proud you are, right now.

Harsh

He is regarded as an academic child and I can see he expected him to have done better. But are they that bad for an academic child?? by who?

I would let him sit with his disappointment. It sounds like he was built up to expect more of himself. Which is fine. The main thing now is how he processes this for the next step, does it motivate him or demotivate him.

@ohcrums yes it is harsh - maybe I was a bit rude. Apologies.
But if he seriously thinks those are bad results then he must have had some serious pressure put on him (from school?).
They are GOOD results. He should be happy. He should be proud.

Ah I agree with that point. I too am wondering if the school perhaps kept telling him he was academic and would do well.

@ohcrums but he has done well.
I would love to know who put the idea those grades aren't "good" enough. Poor lad.

Those are great grades. If he can move forwards and do what he wants, that is all that matters. The more he moves forward, the more he gets to focus on his strongest areas.

I went to school with someone who was brilliant at physics, maths and engineering and was always top, but he had to get a pass mark in French (weirdly) to go to his first choice of uni. He worked fifty times harder at that subject and passed but with the lowest grade. He got into engineering and never used his French!

I think they just get themselves in a bubble where they only see themselves and their friends and not the wider picture.

A friend said there were lots of disappointed 'predicted all 8/9s' kids getting grades at school today. It seems that these, which have been attainable by many more academic children in recent years, have been cut right back.

They've been indulgent during COVID I guess, and suddenly decided to drop the top tier down from, say, the best 20% to more like the top 5-10%.

I would say though that everyone is in this position, and really, GCSEs are a pass to higher level qualifications. Employers tend to look most closely at A-Levels, degrees or equivalents. And saying all that, I think he's done amazingly anyway!

When I say 'these' I mean, 'these grade profiles', ie. ALL 8/9. He's still got six so should feel incredibly proud.

Sounds like he has done pretty well to me and has a decent future ahead of him.

I'm extremely surprised that these results are disappointing to him but I was a child who put tremendous pressure in myself too. Aced my GCSEs, not so great a levels. I guess he was predicted all 9s. My child didn't get any 9s but all 5 and over and we're over the moon. Had a horrendous couple of years which puts it into perspective.

I can't see them not getting onto next step with these grades and nobody cares what your gcse results were once you're an adult anyway.

These are objectively really good results including for a very academic child at a grammar school. It’s so sad he doesn’t feel able to celebrate them.

Well something that we all need to learn in life is how to cope with disappointment and that things that do not turn out as we expect. It is important to learn that some things are outside of our control and to be confident and satisfied that our best is good enough even if not reflected in an arbitrary number or result.

I take it you've gone in there and told him how delighted you are and asked him why he's disappointed? You don't seem to know.

My child did approximately half as well as yours and I can't tell you how over the moon I am!

Maybe he needs chatting to and advice on how to gain a sense of perspective over this

The poster above who said we've lost
Sight of normal results is 100% correct imo.

Back when my parents took exams it was normal to get B/Cs and be considered great results and to get lower than a C (they call fail but isn't really) for a few that weren't your favourite or best subjects. Top grade was an A.

When I did mine 90's top grade was A star (just introduced the year I started year 10) but we also had coursework and so also had numbers. So 10 was A star.
It was still considered good to get anything over a C and no one getting D/Es for a few subjects was surprised or considered non academic.

Fast forward to 2023. Students all hear that 8/9's are the only acceptable grades.

That's a A star and above. That's the grades introduced in 1994 to find be top few % of the country above an A.

But because it's 9-1 and a 4 and above is the old C and above but 4 is much further away from 9 than a C is from an A and students see this as low grade.

I wish they'd just leave it all alone, stop with all the "much harsher this year" stuff etc, reintroduce coursework, reintroduce vocational exams for the non academic and provide an education system that allows all students to excellence at what they are good at and follow the oath that suits what they want to do in the furtive rather than feeling at the end of 11 years if school they've achieved nothing.