Preparing for Uni life

[LadyDaffodil]

Tell me all your tips for preparing DD (and me) for a life at Uni, what's the one thing we'll forget, what's a life saver, what doesn't she need?

All help and advice appreciated

When is she going? In the next few weeks or next year? That would change the advice I'd give!

Try the higher education board for more traffic. But I'd say a good organiser, whether that's a paper bullet journal or a MacBook.

Just accepted a place for this September

Ah ok!

So, buy a doorstop for her room. It'll help her be socialable in the early days to keep the door open and chat to her flatmates.

If she hasn't already, get her to join the Facebook / WhatsApp groups for her halls. My DD is still friends with some of the people she chatted to before she started. She bumped into a couple of them on her first day and from day dot she felt she knew people.

Buy tickets for the freshers events asap - they sell out quick (way before term started fir my DD)

Give her something to put in the flat kitchen to share in the first few days. It's a great way to get to know flatmates. One of my DDs flatmates baked brownies. That went down a treat.

Take a favourite board/card/drinking game so they can get to know each other in the early days

Get your DDs postal address early so you can send your DD a nice treat (cookies etc) to share with friends when she's feeling homesick in the first few weeks

If your daughter is shy and struggles to get to know people, then get her to identify those she thinks she would like (from the WhatsApp group chat) and get her to ask them what they're taking to uni. They all seem to love discussing what they think they need. My daughter spent hours discussing that with people last year.

Pack enough plates so that she can entertain others. One plate etc is not enough!

And remind her to balance work and partying. The uni will not tell her she is failing if she is getting the balance wrong, and unfortunately I've seen too many people have to resit their first years because they didn't get that balance right.

But most importantly, tell her she only gets one shot at uni, so make the most of her three years there. Get involved, have fun and work hard.

And for you, yes you'll miss her, but soon it'll be more than normal. Whilst I've loved having my DD home this summer, I can't wait for her to go back to uni next week!!

Fabulous advice, thank you. The doorstop is great idea x

The doorstop is always suggested but it's actually a fire hazard and they are often confiscated. I know of several fires contained within a single room because of the fire doors. A doorstop would have allowed fire to spread throughout the flat.

Have a look at clubs and societies, there are lots to suit every interest and a good way of getting to know people too.

Main thing is she needs to be able to organise her life independently. So show her how to do anything you’re still doing for her (washing clothes, cooking, getting up in the morning, making doctor’s/hairdresser/etc appointments, planning her time, using public transport ) and get her to practice these skills.
Plus encourage her to get a flu jab - freshers flu is a real thing and wrecks the first term for many.

The doorstop is always suggested but it's actually a fire hazard and they are often confiscated. I know of several fires contained within a single room because of the fire doors. A doorstop would have allowed fire to spread throughout the flat.

Doorstop is only to be used for when you are in your room, as a sign to say "please put your head in and say Hello" It isn't left there.

Like the first poster to reply implies, lots of "getting ready for University" should be done in the months and years beforehand really.

Between now and Freshers week, it is a case of confirming accommodation, paying deposit; setting up student bank account, if going for the free railcard, they need to do stuff to trigger that, within a certain time frame; reminding dc to keep checking their e-mail for information (it will vary one place to another, but they might have to send documents, and they might have to confirm things and they might have to book a moving in slot); collect together kitchen stuff and bedlinen etc; I'd suggest encouraging them to print out some photos of family and friends (pet maybe?) for their room; put together a folder of documents, from bank info to medical, to NI number; to list of yours and other important phone numbers for when they lose their phone, or bank emergency details for if need to cancel cards, etc.

She is very independent and we've always made sure she would survive if left to fend for herself. She's tidy and organised, can cook for herself, use the washing machine/iron, so I'm not too worried about that.

Getting herself up may be a problem, but she'll have to learn the hard way!!

She'd heard about leaving her door open as a way of making friends, but taking goodies as an ice breaker is a great idea and I'll look into the flu jab

The folder of documents is a great idea 👍🏼

Register with a GP at uni. Make sure all inoculations are up to date before she goes. Get insurance for belongings. Phone and laptop for out of room use.

Buy clothes she needs now. Do not buy loads of kitchen gear. See what’s needed first. Amazon delivery is your friend for essentials at uni. Do not forget a loo brush. Check bedlinen size.

Agree who is paying for what. Phone, fares home, hair cuts, clothes etc. Budget upwards from zero and be realistic. You don’t need everything set in stone on day 1 but allow money for unforeseen circumstances or joining sports clubs. Some Dc manage on next to nothing, others like socialising. Also books can be expensive. So encourage secondhand purchases. It’s all new but fun.

Buy and crockery from charity shops, all the ikea stuff gets mixed up and that way fall outs lie.

Remember to pack winter clothes if she won't be home until december.

Flip flops for the shower if it's shared.

Does she know how to cook? How to clean? How to change her bedding? How to use a laundry?

My niece went to uni a couple of days after her 18th birthday, I got her a 'bag of requirement' which was a weekend bag filled with things she might need it included

Hat, scarf and gloves
flip flops
toilet roll
emergency chocolate
tin opener and corkscrew
san pro
supermarket voucher cards
various stationary
a torch (wind up)
a cheap PAYG phone (it was on offer at something ridiculous like £3)
list of family birthdays
small sewing kit
small first aid kit
scissors
photo frame

Some excellent suggestions here. Not a cheery one from me but depression and anxiety hit a lot of students. Maybe have a talk about how to recognise the symptoms and what to do?

Also try and encourage her to be ahead of deadlines. There’s often a bad culture of leaving work until the last minute and then having caffeine fuelled all nighters in the library. It’s sociable but it’s stupid.

I’d also add a permanent marker (for marking food - everyone ends up buying the same milk), bottle opener and a deck of cards to the what to bring list. A popcorn maker would also be popular 😊

I don't know if she cooks much but I wrote down their favourite recipes that I cook at home in a notebook.

You might also want to add extra survival notes 😂 I've lost track of how many times I got texts along the lines of "how long does it take to defrost a chicken breast?"

A first aid box/tub with supplies is useful.

My DS had a small George Foreman grill that he used most days.

Please do not buy a door stop for a fire door! On the spot fine if it is uncovered in inspection and very dangerous!

Oh and check if there is any sort of discount card for her uni.

At one uni I went to you could load money onto a prepayment card, if you paid using the card you got a small discount.

You could only use it in the uni shops / cafes / canteen or in the uni bookshop. I was in my 30s but I think the idea was for parents to top up knowing it wouldn't be spent on boose.

You could put alcohol on it but only with a meal.

Once she has a uni ID she may be able to get student discounts in shops / online .

My dd had some household stuff for birthdays and Christmas from age 16 which she loved.

They need everything you would use in a kitchen. The only thing provided in uni halls was an ironing board and kettle.

Yes they do need things but you don’t need 16 saucepans! Be careful about taking too much because if everyone does it’s overload.

Student discounts usually are triggered by SU. ASOS are one who are useful. My DDs always shopped at uni for clothes. They made their own choices as adults.

Oh thanks for this! I have been trying to explain on and off for the last two years why DS needs to get in the habit of using a diary, paper or electronic I don't care - he grumbles that I keep rabbitting on about it but I've yet to hear any evidence that he's started using one ...

Universities always offer study skills sessions but in the meantime UCAS have a handy little introduction to time management that you could point him towards.
https://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/student-life/study-skills-guides

Things that help with making friends:

Big tub if chics to share.

Breville sandwich toaster - very popular after pub nights.

Games - Chameleon/Code Words/Uno for playing in around the kitchen table.

Take lemsips etc and a cosy blanket for when they inevitably get ill and have to look after themselves.

Chocs - not chics

Some excellent suggestions thank you

DD is quite independent and can change a bed/cook a meal etc, so I don't think I'll need to worry there.

She's making lists, but how will the kitchen set up work? Does she need a cheese grater for example, or will she buy one there and they'll share and someone else will buy the whisk that they'll share that?? Also washing up stuff, surely they won't have 6 bottles of washing up liquid in the kitchen?

Can she get in touch with the others sharing her kitchen?
My dd did but I'm not sure how!
They decided who would bring certain things.
I would take the basics and order from Amazon or buy from a supermarket anything needed once there.