Year 13 2023/2024 - General support thread

[Rollergirl11]

It’s now the time for our young adults to sit their final year at sixth form/college. Everyone is welcome!

Good idea.

Thanks very much everyone. Yes I will be looking into lawyers but it is a very complex area. I have made multiple complaints and taken legal action against the school but that had nothing to win, it was more to make a point and I represented myself, school spent a fortune on lawyers. Though it showed me that its not just you break the law, there's like 4 things you have to prove to win and exact proof of that. So its something like they owed a duty of care, they acted in a worse way than any other doctor would have done, that directly caused harm and one other and any of the 4 falls down you lose. So you basically need a doctor to say another doctor caused harm, no other doctor would have done that and that resulted in this damage to win. And the doctors are all employed by the NHS who they have to criticise for you to win. Its very rare to win. Though so far I have caused around £15,000 in costs and 3 people are out of jobs, hard to know for certain if that was me but 2 out of 3 there were complaints in about at the time. So am making progress but have to also weigh up the stress on us and be realistic. I was quite inspired though my Maya in Take Care of Maya, wish I could win $260 million. 😂Though its taken her 7 years and will continue on. I did get back swimming today, have had something like covid and did 107 lengths and house is now painted and kitchen done. DS did take a bath. Yes I think what he had pre hospital may have been burnout from lack of school support, lockdown, my cancer etc but its like 100 times worse now and its more like a semi-coma but he does occasionally come out of it and move to bath. Its hard to describe but its like talking to a mannequin. Like a frozen body is there but no sign of life in it. No communication, no movement, no reactions mostly. Occasionally anger when cahms come round etc. Though I know the feeling on that one. 😂

Well that went well ! I went along. He spoke to loads people and gave details. He’s already made a LinkedIn account and contacted a local hotel and they’ve asked to send Cv knowing he can’t start til May which is promising. Also had a chat with an amazing opportunity which involves going to work by boat !

So glad it went well @NeverForgetYourDreams :)

That sounds like a great success @NeverForgetYourDreams . Well done to your DS

Sounds very promising @NeverForgetYourDreams and I hope he gets offered a few opportunities.

Sounds awful Silkie and a battle I'm sure you didn't need with everything else going on. I really hope a way forward can be found for your ds.

Ds finishing topic tests this week then it's the slow burn until mocks second week of Jan which means we can't do too much at Xmas. Hoping to get away for Feb half term though even if it's just a few days at the coast or something. Ds gets a bit stressed out if things are left to the last minute so I try to encourage a 'little but often' approach.

Catching up...@Silkie Your poor DS's story is so shocking & sadly professionals do close ranks in these situations. Really hope you can find a way forward & proper support for him...

@NeverForgetYourDreams that sounds like a great day.

We had a good parents evening with DS yesterday - face to face for the first time since 2019, so what with Cameron's return to government it all felt quite retro! DS's teachers were all very positive about his prospects & the Business teacher reminded DS that he was delivering the class the next day (today)! Apparently a few of the students are doing this over the next week. He has his second attempt at the driving theory test tomorrow & this time has revised for it so fingers crossed.

He finally got school's feedback on the personal statement yesterday & made a couple of changes suggested by them & me. He will do a final proofread tomorrow morning then upload it. I can't wait for it to be gone!

Not been following for a while
Very sorry to hear how stressful and traumatic things have been @Silkierabbit , it sounds awful for all of you
DD submitted her ucas form tonight
Doing a bit of gentle nudging about getting a job....to assist funding uni.
...she "plans to...." apparently
....although she is doing 2 portfolio subjects and I can not fault the hours she is putting in to her work

Thanks very much. Yes very stressful but glad he is home now, average stay in hospital for asd is 5 years, we were 8 months.

DD has had mock interview and added Bristol. She works so much often 35 hours a week as well as her A levels which is crazy but at least she has a lot of savings now and experience.

DD’s UCAS may be sent by school next week! She has a meeting with the UCAS person so fingers crossed. It would be great if it did go this week as would allow a bit of time to add a fifth choice dependent on offers received.

An update. Two interviews this week on the back of the careers fair

one at the hotel he really wants to start his hospitality journey at and another on an island later this week ! The latter will be a pain re parking in the summer months but I’ve said to go along anyway as it’s all experience

suit shopping today. Bagged a reduced one at primark so that was good.

his tutor is going to be impressed when he sees her this week.

both places know he’s not available until May so that’s good.

i finally feel like we’ve joined the gang - you’ve all been talking about Uni and I’ve been feeling left out !!

:-)

That's fantastic @NeverForgetYourDreams. Your ds seems much sought after. The island adventure sounds most intriguing.

Brilliant update @NeverForgetYourDreams so pleased to read it! Sounds like he is doing amazingly well :)

I think it’s the course he’s doing that’s helped. May come to nothing but at least he got two interviews after a 5 minute chat ! Just hope he can pull it off when in there

we coaching Tuesday night (although my birthday so we out!) about the history of the hotel so he knows a bit about it for the interview ;)

Great news @NeverForgetYourDreams. Best of luck to your son for his interviews.

@SooperOuting fingers crossed your daughter’s UCAS can get submitted.

Dd has her exam timetable for June. Off to a slow start with only one exam in May. Dh has also found his a level exam papers from 1985 for dd to look at…fun times in our house.

DS has his first exam next week - some kind of observation/analysis for PE. He's fairly confident and his teacher said she was expecting him to do very well at parents' evening so hopefully it will be ok.
Still hasn't submitted his UCAS form though. Says it's all ready to go...once he decided where to apply that is. 🙄

@Silkierabbit I am late but wanted to add to everyone else. This is absolutely awful. My brother was in the mental health system for years (slightly different) and honestly the stuff that has happened and frankly not happened is beyond shocking. On more than one occasion I nearly took legal action, but after years of it all I lost my will somewhere along the line. He is very lucky to have family support and I am so shocked they could treat someone so young this way.

DD sounds like she is in a good place though.

DS1 has just got back from his Athens trip and it sounded and looked amazing! He got his predictions too which are AAA* and he needed three As so on track for the unis he wants. He let me read and make some suggestions for his statement but he still needs to cut it by 1000 characters. I have been speaking to my historian friends and we are all stressed by characters rather than words as an allowance. It’s mad.

DS2 also got his predicted GCSEs - mostly a raft of 5s which keeps open a few of the options he is looking at, but he said he is going to work hard to get 5 6s to see if he can keep creative a levels open. He has decided to go into school during mock study leave to the classes, really growing up and showing some maturity.

DS3 went 9 straight school days without a detention.

Thank you very much StColombo So sorry your DB went through similar, its really shocking what goes on in there. It was pretty bleak conditions as well just a bare room, no TV, not allowed out for months, no running water, no dentist access, no soap, no toothbrush and paste, CCTV everywhere including the toilet on 24/7, 8 stone mute child taken in handcuffs and pinned down by 4 security guards or staff twice a day for forced meds. Never told what first meds he's been given that went wrong by cahms / hospital. Pretty much no legal rights as rep is his and he's non verbal so legal rep just says they will back whatever doctor says so that's a waste of time plus she's about 85 and deaf. I could go on and on. Just complained to police about handcuffing and they have responded with he was very small and tiny and there were 3 police officers but he was exceptionally strong so handcuffing him was fine and won't have bothered him 😡Then when said not happy said get IOPC to review. Am doing but apparently there are so many complaints against police atm its almost a years wait before they start looking at it. I would love to sue cahms but its like going against the mafia and you have to get them to admit it and say what damage it caused to win. The Maudsley have said verbally but in writing its much more vague. Cahms will also admit verbally but every report missed out the drug they gave that went wrong for 8 months. They are as dodgy as you can get. Some poor parents have had their children die and they still cover up. One insimilar circumstances to DS.

Glad yours are doing OK. DD is doing really well, still awaiting news and only applied for 3 so far and two don't have offers out yet and other one has literally just gone in.

Does this term feel really long to anyone else or is it just me? Four weeks until DS breaks up for Christmas! I think the early darkness in the evenings makes it feel really late in the year.

At the same time December seems to be rushing towards us! He has a mock interview at a local private school on Thursday this week so hopefully that will be helpful for him. Still no discussion about the last two spaces on his form, don't think it's even on his radar at the moment with so much other stuff going on.

We went to the dentist today and had to book another checkup in six months so she gave me an appointment in May and I had to say that I may need to change it as DS will be doing his A levels and I don't have his timetable yet! Eeeeek!

It does, so long! There's been loads of events in the past couple of weeks for us too so DD's well ready for a break. She has a mock interview tomorrow, along with the rest of the year, so I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes and hoping it might spur DD into a bit more prep.

The flipping UCAS form is working its way through the school system. DS's form tutor has told him it will be coming back to him as he's not entered a piece of info - however, it has to make its way to the top of the pile before it can be rejected, returned then resubmitted- aargh! But a good thing they check them...

The dark, cold mornings seem particularly difficult this year but I keep reminding ds that this is the last year of them now. Hopefully when he gets to uni, he'll be living closer (at least for the first year) and might have a more flexible timetable.

Good luck in getting those UCAS forms in. Ds still only has one offer from Warwick but he's happy with that. Things will no doubt move more in the new year.

DS is a bit schooled-out at the moment. It is a long term with a lot of pressure and we have had abysmal weather which never helps. DS also has a lot of friends who have gone to University or into apprenticeships this year and I think he is a bit fed up of having neither the independence of the former nor the funds of the latter. He has given up his part time job to focus on his A levels and also cut back on his extracurriculars, dropping one sport almost entirely and reducing his commitment to the other considerably which is probably sensible but doesn't do much for his mood! He knows he needs to improve his maths grade to stand any chance of getting onto the course he wants though so is taking a very mature "short term pain, long term gain" approach, and test results from this term suggest it is paying off. Fingers crossed...

@MrsAvocet - I need to have the short term pain long term gain talk with ds. He had a great long weekend in Geneva visiting CERN and the UN but was shattered when he got back and has been really slow to get going this week (as in he hasn't).

Mocks are looming and he needs to crack on.