Page 2 | Changing schools at the end of year 12?

Littlemissprosecco · 2023-07-03T17:21:17+00:00

My DS has slowly over year 12 become more and more fed up with school! He has a great set of GCSES, started off with 4 A levels ( FMaths), now down to 3. Absolutely hating school, says it’s no fun, too serious etc….. so not doing as well as he could be. I know it’s late in the year, but would a move potentially improve things? ( they can’t get much worse!) I’m planning on contacting out local sixth form tomorrow to ask if it’s a possibility, any advice will be much appreciated. I’m desperate, he’s in tears he hates it so much

Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 15:40

LIZS · 05/07/2023 15:31

But a ps is not required yet. Can he not just tell them he is not applying then change his mind next term? Sounds as if his self confidence is low.

I know it’s not, But school like to be organised, and even for those deferring Friday is the deadline for handing In drafts. They do it their way…..
And he’s refusing, I guess I’ll have to make a phone call, or get one of his sisters to quickly knock him something up with him this evening

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Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 15:43

redskytwonight · 05/07/2023 15:36

Following your updates, this does sounds like the wrong school for him (what exactly will forcing him to write a personal statement achieve ...?)

I suppose it's sort of a question as to whether you think carrying on regardless (so as not to "waste" this year) is better than starting afresh (so as not to "waste" next year as he's not in the right mindset to get the best out of it).

Yes, exactly.
And ultimately it’s his decision and not mine. Although I have to pick up the pieces, and I truly don’t know what to suggest to him

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LIZS · 05/07/2023 15:49

Deferring is different to not applying until post results though.

thecatinthetwat · 05/07/2023 15:52

i work with uni students in a welfare role and I would say don’t push through. Write the year off, find alternatives, take a year out etc. anything.
I get first years turning up in my office so burnt out from a levels that they are just not happy, not motivated, not managing at uni and not enjoying it. (And these are very academic students generally).

redskytwonight · 05/07/2023 15:56

My DS (in similar position) chose to push through. He had a miserable Year 13 (from an academic prospective, though it was great socially) and got very mediocre A Levels. He then spent 6 months working in a supermarket while he figured out what to do with himself (by then he knew it definitely wasn't university) and is now doing an apprenticeship that he loves and is exactly right for him. He's enthusiastic again.

I do think in retrospect he would have been better to start Year 12 again with different options, but I'm not sure he would have ended up at a different place ultimately.

But ... DS was at a mixed ability comprehensive school with lots of peers that didn't have a clue what they wanted to go on and do (although all his close friends were aiming for university). If he'd been at a school where he was pushed down a particular path and felt like he was doing badly compared to everyone else, I suspect that might have been the final straw.

Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 16:03

LIZS · 05/07/2023 15:49

Deferring is different to not applying until post results though.

That’s very true.
Im happy with that option, I think he is too.
School not so much

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Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 16:05

thecatinthetwat · 05/07/2023 15:52

i work with uni students in a welfare role and I would say don’t push through. Write the year off, find alternatives, take a year out etc. anything.
I get first years turning up in my office so burnt out from a levels that they are just not happy, not motivated, not managing at uni and not enjoying it. (And these are very academic students generally).

But he’s currently lower sixth. He can’t take a year out at this point.
Im more than happy for him to take a year out, but doesn’t he have to finish his A levels first?

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Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 16:11

redskytwonight · 05/07/2023 15:56

My DS (in similar position) chose to push through. He had a miserable Year 13 (from an academic prospective, though it was great socially) and got very mediocre A Levels. He then spent 6 months working in a supermarket while he figured out what to do with himself (by then he knew it definitely wasn't university) and is now doing an apprenticeship that he loves and is exactly right for him. He's enthusiastic again.

I do think in retrospect he would have been better to start Year 12 again with different options, but I'm not sure he would have ended up at a different place ultimately.

But ... DS was at a mixed ability comprehensive school with lots of peers that didn't have a clue what they wanted to go on and do (although all his close friends were aiming for university). If he'd been at a school where he was pushed down a particular path and felt like he was doing badly compared to everyone else, I suspect that might have been the final straw.

I’m glad your DS is in a good place with education now.
I really don’t mind what my DS does post A levels, but at the moment I have to get him there…..and I’m not sure how.
He started year 12 full of confidence, now has very little, it’s very sad.
I think he’s in the wrong school, but I can’t force him to move

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Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 16:30

Thank you all for all your comments, it’s helped me consolidate.
Ive just left a message for his head of year saying he’s so miserable with the academic side of school that I’m considering pulling him out over mental health and well-being concerns, and that unfortunately his ps will not be completed this term!

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HappiDaze · 05/07/2023 16:38

I'd advise he stays if he's happy with his friends and sports there

I'd advise he moves only if he had friendship issues

They'll push him hard wherever he goes and he'll o my lose his support network and he don't know any of the new teachers etc

Smoky1107 · 12/07/2023 18:10

My dd was very down this time two years and dreaded the thought of year 13.
So we broke it down and only focused on the half term in front of us.
Six weeks to October
Then only till Xmas
Then six weeks to February
Then it's the last full term and it's done.

It worked for her, she saw it through, managed to pass and got onto her first choice degree course where she is thriving 😀/ we had a treat for each term too, an afternoon out like cinema or shopping and we only ever talk about the half term we were in. Would your son respond to this approach?

Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 16/07/2023 18:13

Smoky1107 · 12/07/2023 18:10

My dd was very down this time two years and dreaded the thought of year 13.
So we broke it down and only focused on the half term in front of us.
Six weeks to October
Then only till Xmas
Then six weeks to February
Then it's the last full term and it's done.

It worked for her, she saw it through, managed to pass and got onto her first choice degree course where she is thriving 😀/ we had a treat for each term too, an afternoon out like cinema or shopping and we only ever talk about the half term we were in. Would your son respond to this approach?

Yes I think we’re going to have to take it a half term at a time.
He’s adamant he’s not ‘wasting’ a year, so his only option is to get on with it. Which he seems to be doing albeit very miserably.
Ive had a meeting with his head of year, he’s been let off the PS for now. The agreement is he’ll put in a UCAS application for something last minute in January, in case he changes his mind about going to uni. It also takes the pressure off him for now.
He has a new girlfriend! So chipper this week! Teenage years can be difficult to navigate for all sorts of reasons. He’s my youngest, and so far had been the easiest…….. but there you go

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Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 16/07/2023 18:15

Smoky1107 · 12/07/2023 18:10

My dd was very down this time two years and dreaded the thought of year 13.
So we broke it down and only focused on the half term in front of us.
Six weeks to October
Then only till Xmas
Then six weeks to February
Then it's the last full term and it's done.

It worked for her, she saw it through, managed to pass and got onto her first choice degree course where she is thriving 😀/ we had a treat for each term too, an afternoon out like cinema or shopping and we only ever talk about the half term we were in. Would your son respond to this approach?

I’m so glad it worked out well for your DD, and that she’s happy now

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Smoky1107 · 17/07/2023 10:57

I really hope it works out for him, it was so tough I remember and it broke my heart.

I hope to read an update next august with it all done!! X

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 25/07/2023 12:28

Littlemissprosecco · 05/07/2023 15:29

Yes it is, and he is begrudgingly willing!!
it’s more that I want to see him happy and enjoying education. It’s like they’ve sucked him dry. He’s now saying he’s not going to uni cos he’s not clever enough and is refusing to do a draft personal statement for school for Friday 😱.
If he doesn’t do it, they’ll give him a lunchtime detention and make him. That’ll help!!!

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This is a pretty bizarre attitude to take with a sixth former I think- if he doesn't want to write a personal statement, that should be his choice but if he gets to the school's internal UCAS deadline and hasn't finished his application, then they can't guarantee it'll get sent to unis in time.

To be honest, if the local sixth form has places for September to restart Y12, I'd be seriously considering this. It can be really hard for students to motivate themselves to study in an environment they're unhappy with. He could perhaps start one new subject, if there's something that interests him? Does the college offer anything like e.g. geology that he might not be able to study at the grammar school?

Dacadactyl · 08/03/2024 18:30

Hi @Littlemissprosecco do you mind me asking, what did your DS do in the end? Did he start again elsewhere at the start of year 12?

Original poster

Littlemissprosecco · 08/03/2024 19:17

Hi@Dacadactyl thanks for asking. No he decided to push on through ( had no choice really, unless he was willing to lose a year) I phoned other local schools for a move for year 13 but nowhere would take him half way through A levels. So he’s really miserable but battling on, bunking off every early finish he has and coming home. He’s just got three Cs in his mocks, which isn’t bad considering he’s doing the bare minimum. He hasn’t applied to do anything post A levels. He simply needs a year off, which hopefully will allow him to think and recharge.

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Dacadactyl · 08/03/2024 20:16

Thank you for your response. Hope he is OK.