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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

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Original poster

Teacher at college

13 replies

House1999 · 19/02/2023 02:17

My dd started college last September and it seems that one of her college teachers has taken a dislike to her.

In November the teacher made some comments, on the parent online portal, regarding my daughter’s behaviour and down graded her WAG (working at grade). I spoke to my dd about it and she said ‘the teacher doesn’t like me’. I asked to speak to the teacher to find out exactly what has happened because the comments were vague.

All communication to the teacher has to done via the pastoral team, so I couldn’t speak to the teacher but the reply was that my daughter rolled her eyes at the teacher when she was asked to put her phone away and she lacks focus. My dd has dyslexia so the lacking focus could be part of the dyslexia.

My dd is quite shy and throughout secondary school her teachers commented that she is quiet. So it came as a surprise that her behaviour was mentioned as she has never been in trouble.

My dd did say that she rolled her eyes at the teacher but it feels like an over reaction from the teacher to report it on the parent portal as a behavioural problem.

I kind of forgot about until Wednesday, when I got a text message from college to say my dd has missed a class. I was at work at the time but spoke to my dd about it when I got home. The lesson should have started at 1:30pm. My dd said at 1:30pm she emailed her teacher and sent a separate email to the pastoral team to say she felt poorly and was going home and could the teacher let her know what topic was covered so she could catch up over half term. My dd attendance is 98%, so doesn’t usually miss lessons.

The teacher hasn’t replied to my dd, however at 2:40pm, during break, made a comment on the parent portal that my dd was sat in the on-site coffee shop at 2:15pm when she should have been in her lesson and reported my dd to the pastoral team.

My dd explained that she came straight home. We have a ring doorbell so I could check what time my dd got home and she arrived home at 2:20pm. She has to get on a bus that takes about 40min. So there is no way she could have been in the coffee shop at 2:15pm.

I feel really disappointed that the teacher is not telling the truth.

It’s half term now but wondering if I should make a complaint as my dd is upset about it and feels this teacher is deliberately trying to get her into trouble. I’m not sure whether the teacher has thought she has seen my dd and it’s an honest mistake or whether it’s deliberate.

OP posts:

sashh · 19/02/2023 03:48

So DD had her phone out, was told to put it away and then rolled her eyes.

Then she skipped a lesson.

She cannot email the teacher at 1.30 if that's when her lesson started because the teacher will no longer be at their desk.

I would guess the discrepancy with seeing her in the coffee shop was mistaken identity or a typo of the time.

I think you should ask your DD a few questions.

What time was/is the lunch break? If the 1.30 lesson is after lunch then it's a bit odd for someone to stay in college for lunch and then going home. I know you can suddenly feel ill but generally people would go home at the start of lunch.

If she was physically in college at 1.30 why didn't she go to class and explain that she was leaving?

If this was on Wednesday why hasn't she gone to the teacher to ask what she missed or got a copy of notes from a friend?

I've taught in schools and in colleges, in college I would expect a student to catch up in their own time, I would not be emailing them to tell them what they missed, it is the student's job to find out.

MooningAtCars · 19/02/2023 05:23

I'd wonder if she felt poorly when it turned time for that lesson, because of anxiety caused by the teachers attitude towards her. Eye rolling can be minor, or can be super rude depending, but its hardly enough of a thing to warrant parents being written to about, I think. Sounds like the teacher has it in for your dd.

SD1978 · 19/02/2023 06:09

Why did she remain onsite, post the time she stated she was too unwell to attend class. To be in the coffee shop?

PyjamaFan · 19/02/2023 06:17

Sounds like your daughter has been behaving badly and your response is to blame the teacher.

Terrible parenting OP.

PyjamaFan · 19/02/2023 06:18

MooningAtCars · 19/02/2023 05:23

Has it in for her? You can't be serious.

Sandysandwich · 19/02/2023 06:21

The WAG grade seems fair, if your daughter had to be asked to put away her phone then obviously she is lacking focus on the lesson as she is in her phone and eye rolling is rude. None of that sounds like she is targetting her or even that she dislikes her, just a teacher doing her job while someone is being rude.

Seeing her in the coffee shop sounds like a mistake, but its one you can amend for her if you want as you have proof of where she was, especially if she is actually in trouble for skipping class. I wouldn't take it as the teacher trying to get your daughter in trouble though, she does have a duty to report students if they are skipping class.

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 06:23

If you are honest Op

how did your dd fare during school? Did teachers often “dislike” her (according to her)

and how is she at home?

Gwdihooooo · 19/02/2023 06:25

If I eye rolled at my employer I expect to be hauled over the coals! It’s so rude!!

You dd needs to start acting like a young adult who’s in college and will soon be an adult in employment. She’s not a 12yr old in school anymore.

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 06:29

My dd did say that she rolled her eyes at the teacher but it feels like an over reaction from the teacher to report it on the parent portal as a behavioural problem.

it speaks volumes to me that you, as her mother, thinks this is an “over reaction”

This was very rude and disrespectful for your daughter. And absolutely warranted being reported on the parent portal. However if her mother thinks it is an “over reaction” then there’s not much chance of things improving

LynetteScavo · 19/02/2023 10:04

You don't make a complaint- you have an actual conversation with the teacher and explain you know DD was actually at home. That needs to be politely clarified. You also say your not impressed by your DDs attitude re: having a phone out and eye rolling It's not what you expect from your DD you're addressing that with her. You say you're very keen to work with the college for your DD to get the best experience from her time there.

Original poster

House1999 · 19/02/2023 11:56

Thank you for your replies, it’s good to have other view points. It seems I’m overreacting myself. It just felt odd that she said my dd was in a coffee shop when she wasn’t. I did discuss, at the time, with my daughter about the eye rolling/phone out and explained that it’s not appropriate. Secondary school teachers always said she was quiet and she should gain more confidence. I do care and that is why I wrote this post.

OP posts:

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 19/02/2023 13:33

Is your DD allowed her phone out during lessons? Colleges/sixth forms do vary on this, but if she was not meant to have her phone out then this is a bigger problem than the eyerolling.

I teach this age group, and some students I will allow their phones because I know they use them to help with their work. If I see a student texting etc during lesson time, I will ask them to put their phone away and I would consider that "lack of focus"- I don't think that relates directly to dyslexia.

It is too late to email at the start of a lesson, because at that point, I'll be teaching and not checking emails. Start of lunch at the very latest, otherwise I would expect the student to speak to someone in person (this is a bit of a safety thing, so it is important).

I very much doubt the teacher is lying about your DD deliberately- it's probably mistaken identity.

HOWEVER, given your DD is unhappy, then it might be worth asking the college if there are any options for a class move. Do any other lecturers teach the subject, and how easy would it be for her to move to a different class?

If there's no other options, or moving classes would cause clashes with other subjects, then I think your DD probably has to just get on with it, and maybe avoid having her phone out in future?

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 14:25

My dd said at 1:30pm she emailed her teacher and sent a separate email to the pastoral team to say she felt poorly and was going home

but she didn’t tell you that she felt ill and was going home? First you knew was checking the video cam after the teacher told you?

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