Bereaved DD struggling at 6th form

[HelpASisterOut999]

Looking for some advice on how to support DD, who lost her dad last year. She did brilliantly at GCSEs despite her loss and got into 6th form college to study 3 A levels. She has a certain career path in the NHS that she wants to follow (paramedic) but is struggling with Biology and feeling generally overwhelmed with her grief, alongside the shift from GCSE to A level.

My feeling is she might be best dropping Biology and seeing out the other two subjects which she is likely to do well at, so that she has those two A levels and can decide what to do next. I think her other options would be to apply to restart 3 A levels in September and just start again, or try and find a different course (health and social care btec or similar) or try and find an apprenticeship. Am I missing anything? I do realise that if she's struggling with Biology at a level then this could well be an issue at degree level however I think I could encourage her ro consider other health professional roles.

She's due to start counselling and I feel she could dip very easily and just drop out of college altogether, I'm trying to support her but struggling to find the answers she needs.

College have been less than helpful when I've asked for help, and careers advisors don't seem to exist any more.

can anyone point me in the direction of any good resources? thanks

I am very sorry for your loss.
Slightly different situation but halfway through A levels DD changed her mind about the degree she wanted to do and after speaking to Uni depts at open days they all said that without a Biology A level they wouldn’t even consider her.
She is continuing with the 3 Alevels she is doing (taking them next May) and then having a year off and doing Biology A level online while working in a relevant field. She will then apply for 2024. The extra A level will cost over £1000 but it’s cheaper than an extra year at Uni doing a foundation course, plus she has done MH issues that mean we would all be more comfortable if she took another year to prepare for going to Uni
Would that work for your DD?

Any way to get grinds for her? An extra expense but if it is something she really wants to do grinds would help. My niece had grinds to help with Maths and it made a huge difference with her ability to get a handle in maths. It also gave her self confidence a huge boost as her lack of progress had been getting her down.

The first term or two of a level biology is notoriously hard- it’s one if the biggest jumps from gcse.

Has she spoken to her tutor? It may be that she feels she is struggling but is actually where she’s supposed to be at this point.

For info of anyone else who didn't know, I looked it up.

grinds = Irish term for private tutoring

There is a huge jump between GCSE and A Level. A Level biology is also fairly theoretical, whereas in paramedicine, the biology will be so much more applied/ practical.
What is she struggling with? Is it the workload? Or is the content being too difficult to understand? Or is it the increased level of independent study required?
A tutor might help her through the adjustment period. I would caution against giving up biology if she wants to do paramedicine but you really need to research what her next stage (university? NHS?) requires. Maybe she could continue her pathway with a B or CTech in Health and Social Care? My DS got on a nursing degree course from combining that with English A level.

What a fantastic daughter you have, wanting to go into such a noble profession. It would be a shame if her sad circumstances stopped her getting there. Even if she took her A levels per time or took a year out, there is no rush to have it done by 18. Hope she gets all the support possible.

I lost my dad right at the start of year 12. Make sure she has applied for the bereavement grade allowance before her exams. I didn't realise I had to do this and my head of year didn't mention it so I ended up retaking most of first year. I think you get an extra 5% which can be the difference between a meh grade and a good one! I also had tutoring. In retrospect I probably should have taken a year out and restarted because it wasn't an easy time, but you don't really know how to deal with it when you are 16.

What are the other subjects? Might an applied science level 3 or health and social care be a better option for her?

first of all she needs to check and double check whether the courses she wants to do need biology.
it sounds like restarting in September might be the best option for her and spend the rest of this year focused on counselling, dealing with her grief and doing related things like job in a care home/moocs etc. discuss with college to see if this is an option and if not speak to other colleges.

Im so sorry for your loss, you’re doing amazing to be looking out for your DD in such a difficult time.

I think taking off the rest of the year and starting over in September is a valid option. My youngest did this due to ill health and it was the right call. Your DD could focus on grief counselling and not be under so much pressure. It wouldn’t be good for her to have nothing to do though, so ask her if there’s anything she’d like to do while off…volunteer at a vet, learn to bake & cook, get riding lessons in return for mucking out stables, read stories to toddlers at the library- something she’d enjoy and with no pressure to perform.

The sixth form should be able to hold her place for her…similar to a Uni deferment for a gap year. She shouldn’t have re-apply to re-start in September.

Firstly I am sorry for her loss and yours.

I would also say speak to sixth form about restarting again in September due to her circumstances. I think piling on extra tuition at this point may just be too much for her. She could spend the next 7 months purely focusing on A level biology content online, YouTube is great for this, and it should be so much easier come September.

It can also be a time to just breathe, to not feel the pressure and to process everything that has happened. If her sixth form are unsupportive I would look at another sixth form. There are possible funding implications for her starting again at her current sixth form but she should meet the criteria for why she is starting again.

Check out what she needs to be a paramedic so she has the right A levels and I hope her counselling helps.

I'm blown away by all your responses, thank you very much. I'm not sure how to tag, so I'll answer some questions asked here.

yes, I could afford to get her a tutor or pay for a separate Biology course so I will think about both options.

she finds the pace of the course difficult as if you miss one lesson it feels hard to catch up. she's very motivated and will work for hours in the evening but I know it doesn't come as naturally to her as her other two subjects (Eng Lang and Sociology).

I've looked at uni courses and also apprenticeships which all seem to have different entry requirements so I guess it depends on where she wants to study.

to pp who was also bereaved, I'm sorry for your loss too. my daughter got special consideration for her GCSEs yes, so yes I'm aware of that option

think I need to try and talk to someone else at college first and foremost

thanks again, feel less panicky now

Hello @HelpASisterOut999
i am going through the same with my daughter whose Dad took his own life last Jan. it’s been horrific.
She too is at the start of Yr12 doing 3 A levels and struggling/feeling overwhelmed. Not so much by the workload but just trying to find motivation out of ongoing grief which a year on seems to have suddenly become worse.
i just wanted to also ask you about special consideration that your daughter received - we were told categorically that there would be none, that the death had to have happened immediately before or during the exams - my daughter lost her dad around 4 months before her first exam so got no special consideration at all which was hard as she barely attended school after his death and was unable to revise in any real way.
She did incredibly well even so but I still feel upset/angry that no special circumstances were given.
I know there’s nothing to be done about it now but I’m just concerned we were given the wrong info.
Am so sorry that you are going through this too. Seeing your child in this kind of pain is indescribable.

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter, and yes seeing them in so much pain is agonising. My daughter's dad suffered with addiction issues so it was a very complicated and strained relationship which is wearing heavy on her every day.
My ex died in June and so yes it was right in the middle of exams and therefore was covered by the guidance. It seems so unfair that no consideration was given to your daughter after such a recent loss. I don't know if there is a mechanism for appealing it?
Do you think your daughter will carry on with A levels?

@HelpASisterOut999
Ah that makes sense I think we were given the right info then.
Your poor, poor daughter, I thought it was amazing that my daughter managed to do GCSES 4 months on but that your daughter did them whilst losing her Dad is incredible.
it was my ex husband too, and my daughter like yours had a fairly complicated relationship with her Dad due to his various issues (he had addiction issues too towards the end but we didn’t know how bad)
So I think there’s lots to unpick when the relationship was complicated which adds to the grief - and as my daughter says, now she’ll never know if their bond could have got stronger as she got older. Breaks my heart.
She was due back at school last Monday but only made it in on Friday - but last week was a week of anniversaries really - the day we think he died, the day he officially died and the day we found out. It was a horrific week as she seemed to go through it all again.
But she seemed positive after school Lon Friday, didn’t go through her usual narrative of hating it, not being able to cope, can’t concentrate, no motivation etc but I don’t take that to mean anything as her mood changes hour to hour
in my heart I think she will carry on as she wants uni/good job etc but I’m encouraging to take a year out after 6th form as I think she will need the space and will give her opportunity to retake to if she doesn’t get the grades she wants/deserves
i really really hope counselling will help your daughter - my daughter has had counselling since March - it’s been good as an outlet for her.
Sending you both love even though I don’t know you

@HelpASisterOut999 so sorry to hear about your loss and I really feel for your daughter. My eldest daughter lost a uncle and her grandma right before her GCSE's and how she just powered through like a trooper, but then struggled afterwards.
My youngest is in year 13 in Biology and in year 12 its ok to get D's and E's at the moment, a lot of students do. She struggled to get to grips with it. Biochem was her weakness, but now shes mastered it. I have been helping her a bit myself. We have been going through her text book, and coming up with ways and means of remembering things. acronyms for things helped.
We had a huge help from BioRach, this girl on you tube and she is very very good at explaining things. Also for biochem we had the ameoba sisters who do very cute cartoons which made her help remember things. Snap revise, he is also good and we bought his flash cards with questions on. If shes doing OCR, these people on you tube are amazing. Daughter is struggling a little on the maths side and we also found Ms Estruch on you tube and she explains how to work things out on exams very well :) So shes starting to watch those now to get to grips with maths side.

For info of anyone else who didn't know, I looked it up.

grinds = Irish term for private tutoring

Thank you @TeenDivided. I was just about to google

I'm so sorry for what you have both had to go through @HelpASisterOut999 and @notaworrierxxx

I think your DC should seriously think about redoing year 12. My niece redid year 12 and excelled. I know a few others who also did so and did well. Further education is fully funded up to age 19.

Go to a careers advisor as the specialist knowledge and insight is much more than you can offer. Check out morrisby. They do online testing and advice

Sorry to hear that she is struggling and I hope you are OK?

Personally, I would say that biology covers a huge area, and much of it is not related to humans, let alone emergency medicine.

I would suggest dropping biology for now sticking with the other 2 A-Levels she is doing OK in. Then, once she has thise she can do Biology or a Health and Social Care BTEC if she wants. It'll take longer but takes the pressure off and gives her time and space to grieve.

Look online at what universities are asking for a paramedical degree. That will help, although I would say she might be better off. Applying for a job as an Emergency Care Assistant at the ambulance service these are ambulance drivers who assist in simple medicine alongside Technicians and Paramedics so ahed get an idea on the life style, stress levels, waits at hospital and what her work would entail. Lots of paramedic students quit or wish they had because the job is different to what they expected.

All NHS trusts advertise their jobs on jobs.nhs so she can see more about Emergency Care Assistants there

As this thread has been bumped, @HelpASisterOut999 do you feel like you want to update the thread as to what happened? I hope your DD is feeling less overwhelmed with it all.