Post GCSE’s 2022 - Year 12 2022/23 General support thread

[Rollergirl11]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2022, regardless of their educational setting.
Our DC’s may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed)
Everyone is welcome!

Hello all! I've been out of the loop for ages. Good to see so many plans. Just been trying to persuade ds that some paid work would be good. No luck yet. School seems great but he has absolutely nothing extra to put on his personal statement due to religiously opting out of everything for years. Do extra curriculars make a big difference? I think he'll probably want to do geography but not clear yet.

@Aramox having an older one who has now completed his degree (did geography although now regrets it), I'm not convinced loads of extra-curriculars make that much of a difference (unless applying for a vocational course like medicine where you need to show you've walked the walk). DD has just bagged herself a less lucrative but more desirable job working in fashion retail. She's doing it because she was missing the extra money over and above her monthly allowance, and to give herself more part-time work opportunities when she goes to uni.

Interestingly her school suggested that it wasn't a good idea for the sixth formers to have part-time jobs (and we're not talking a wealthy intake private school here). What does everyone else think?

My DS has a job but his employer is extremely flexible. He works mainly in the holidays and then on Saturdays when he hasn't got a sports fixture. It's in hospitality so he does the occasional evening when there's a special event on, but I don't think I would be keen for him to do regular evenings. But then he does a lot of sport so it's hard to fit everything in as it is and I'd be worried about him not having enough time to study. If he had a lot of free evenungs I would probably feel differently. So I'd say it depends on the individual, what the rest of their schedule is like and how demanding their employer might be - I dont think regular very late nights is a good idea for instance.

@LouisCatorze i don’t see any harm in a part time job providing it doesn’t interfere with their studies. In fact I think it’s good for them to gain experience outside of their studies which can increase their confidence and make them more responsible and well rounded. DD works 11 hours over 2 shifts at Waitrose. One is a week day evening and then a Saturday. It doesn’t impact on her college work at all and she is loving earning some decent money. It has really helped her with her social anxiety which has been invaluable.

DD is actually in the dog house at the moment. DH and I had a stay in a hotel last night for an event to celebrate my birthday. We had agreed that DD could have a few friends for a sleepover to keep her company for the night. DS was staying at a friends house. She ended up having a party. The house was in an awful state when we got home. The carpets are filthy where people have been outside in the garden and then walked about inside the house. She had tried to clean up as much as she could before we got back but quickly came to realise that she couldn’t hide it so forewarned us before we got home. Was still a shock. The cost of getting the carpets and sofas cleaned will be coming out of her wages that’s for sure. Still deciding on appropriate sanctions for having a party. What do you lovely lot think?

Oh @Rollergirl11. Horrid to come home to, but not a huge surprise! My DD would almost certainly do the same. I’d say no way she can go to the next party, and make sure she does all the clean up/pays for the carpet clean.

My DD doesn’t have a job. She does a lot of extra curricular stuff ( too much probably) and still doing 4 A levels so no free periods at school.

Uh oh to hear about the party @Rollergirl11 I am not surprised you are cross. Bizarrely I have just got home from leaving DS overnight for the first time and thankfully no nasty surprises.
I guess the cost of cleaning the carpets and sofas is quite a punishment and hopefully the stress of trying to clean up will have made her realise the error of her ways.

My DS is probably going to have to give his supermarket job up in the new year as he is struggling with them wanting him to work Saturday and Sunday. He is doing 4 a levels and is in school 8-5 most days with prefect duties and extra curricular clubs so finding it tiring to then work all weekend. He’s going to ask after Christmas if they’ll just let him do one day but if they say no, then he will put in his notice which is a shame.

After a few ups & downs job wise, DS started as a junior waiter at an Italian restaurant a couple of weeks ago & is enjoying it. He's doing 2-3 shifts a week - tomorrow will be his first split shift which I think he'll find tiring although he's been promised an early finish. He is saving for a car & I am pleased that he's got the motivation & think this will help him mature & increase his confidence. Some of his friends who aren't working have started going to the pub every Friday & Saturday night so he swerves the temptation to do that by working.

School recommend that students only work 10 hours a week & I'm conscious that he will exceed that this week, but expect that after Christmas he'll get less shifts.

We go to New Zealand in 3 weeks time for 3 weeks - a trip postponed from April 2020 to celebrate my DDad's 80th birthday...damn covid! I hope the job is kept open for DS.

@Rollergirl11 that's so annoying but I think it's very easy for these get togethers to get out of hand & the young people don't have the confidence/tools to stop them. I think that meeting the cost of the cleaning is probably punishment enough but I'm a soft touch

@legofrostqueen

IS it an 'owned by Italian family' restaurant or a chain?

I ask because way back in the days of dinosaurs the VI formers I knew who worked at Italian owned places would get generous gifts at Xmas,

That's helpful @LouisCatorze !
Oh, the party - what a classic. Brave you for giving her the chance. I think it's hard to punish at this age . Might depend if she planned it, or it just got out of hand! Could she do something useful for you to compensate- cooking, cleaning ? Or just be lectured about trust?

@sashh an extremely small chain with a family feel...so we'll see!

DS has been at his part time job now 4.5 months. Time flies. He does anywhere 4-8 hours a week - ramping up now it’s Xmas. He’s in college 3 days a week but because it’s BTEC he has a lot of meaty assignments that count towards grade so he does those on the other 2 days. He also works in college restaurant one evening a week. He seems to have a lot of downtime as well so it is working right for him.

"Interestingly her school suggested that it wasn't a good idea for the sixth formers to have part-time jobs (and we're not talking a wealthy intake private school here). What does everyone else think?"

That's interesting. Our 6th form says no more than 8 hours a week. DS does two 3 hour tea time shifts at a pub nearby. Gives him the money he wants to spend on Costa at college and evenings out without impinging much on his studies / social life.

Both my DDs had 12 hour a week jobs from 16. So one during year 11 & one from the week they finished. Never affected their studies or social lives. And meant they could buy a little old car at 17. And have extra money at Uni and to go travelling.

Oh and both say it definitely helped them during Uni interviews as they were used to speaking to strangers and dealing with peoples issues.

Thanks all, I agree that meeting the cost of cleaning the carpets is punishment enough. Unfortunately for me DD had to go to work for her 7 hour shift so I ended up cleaning for 3.5 hours. The smell of spilt beer and spirits just permeates everything doesn’t it? 🤮 There are 7 sacks full of bottles, plastic cups and pizza boxes for recycling.

DD was very sheepish and tired last night when she got back from work. She assured us that Project Placating Parents commences today for as long as we see fit! 🤣

Oh and @legofrostqueen, out of interest, how are your DS’s friends managing to get in pubs at this age? Do they have fake ID’s? DD bought a fake ID and had it taken off her the first time she tried to use it! They are very hot on it round here. 😂😂

@Rollergirl11 apparently one boy uses his older brother's ID (they look very similar) & he goes to the bar for the drinks. There are two pubs in our small town that they go to, I'm very surprised that they tolerate it!

That stale booze smell is really grim, at least no vomit hopefully....

Ds now has an actual report which gives A, B, and C- all at low end- hoping parents eve will give an idea of how ok or not this is. Certainly worse than what he told us!

My DD is struggling with workload and revision etc so I am supportive of no job right now. She's going to focus on getting some work experience placements for the summer which will be more valuable for her.

@Rollergirl11 oh no - re the party! We went away for a weekend recently and thought we might return to similar but it turned out that no worse had happened than DS inviting 2 friends round for a couple (literally) of drinks.

I'm a fan of the part time job - having one has undoubtedly helped DS (now 18) get an apprenticeship - otherwise he would have a pretty blank CV and no job skills to show. DD is disabled, and having a part time job has been the making of her- she was quite lacking in self confidence but it's shown her what she can do.

the downside of a job was for DS that he was always being asked to take on extra shifts and it was hard to say no. But he does now say that's a skill he has learnt :)

In terms impact on studies, DD has started going to school an hour early to study, (partly) make up for the fact she works 3 evenings a week (7.5 hours in total, not all evening!). But she is the conscientious type anyway - I can see a less studious child might get distracted by paid work.

DD's report was quite glowing ... but she's not scored particularly highly in her assessments (compared to how she was doing in the same subjects at GCSE). Her teachers have told them that this is because it takes a while to get into the "A Level way" of answering questions and it's nothing t worry about (DD is taking English/humanities - guess it might be different for maths/science)

My DS has also been going in an hour earlier to study @sheepdogdelight I must admit I find it fascinating as I used to roll out of bed at the last possible moment in sixth form. He really is very different to me in that respect.

DS has also announced this week that he wants to go to Oxford. I did not see that coming and actually feel horror at all the prep and stress that will be involved for a teeny, tiny chance that he will get in .

LOL zighead - I was another last minuter too! Older DS was also more like me and used to roll out of bed at the very last minute allowing himself just 5 minutes to throw some clothes and Lynx on before fast walking to school to arrive just before the lesson started.
having 2 similar age children so different unfortunately means I can't take credit for the good habits :)

Wish Ds would get a job - it would be so good for his confidence. He got his first report today and is feeling the pressure. They have 'challenge' grades - if you work hard this is what you'll achieve and the report tells whether they are on target. I can't see how they can tell yet as they seem to just be consolidating GCSE knowledge. He has a couple of big'ish tests next week but is out on a sports thing all day on Saturday so is a bit stressed.