Moving away for college (NOT UNI)

[Lonergirl1999]

Hey everyone. I'm not a mum, but I am a young person who lives with her mum.

I’m autistic and have mental health issues. I’m currently 22-years old, I’m turning 23 in June. I live in Essex. I want to go to college; however, I can’t go back to my local college because they won’t take me back due to the fact that I dropped out on 3 different occasions due to my bad mental health. I’m thinking of going to college (a different one), but here’s the thing. I want to do A-Levels. The closest college that does A-Levels for adults is over an hour away from me. I couldn’t travel there unless I moved there. That college is still in Essex but it’s just quite far away from where I live. Getting there everyday would be tiresome, so the easier option would be to move near the college.

So, I was thinking about just moving away to an entirely different county in England and just living there for a few years. The county I was thinking of was Hampshire. Hampshire have a few good colleges. I so badly want to do A-Levels because I am more than capable. I can’t do online A-Levels because the ones I want to do are practical ones like fine art, graphics and illustration and media studies. I got quite good GCSE results a few years ago. Here are my grades (from newest to oldest):

GCSE Japanese – A grade
IGCSE English – A* grade
GCSE Media Studies – C grade
GCSE Maths – C grade
GCSE Science – C grade
GCSE Citizenship – A grade
GCSE Catering – C grade

So those are my GCSE grades. I want to progress onto A-Levels this year, but here’s the catch: I have bad mental health and worry like mad. I’m currently under a secondary mental health team (they are not very good). If I moved away for 3-years, I would worry that my mum wouldn’t be safe or she’d think that I didn’t love her. I know these are silly thoughts, but what if they are true? I don’t have much family (well, I do, but I hardly see them) and I worry my mum would be lonely without me.

I also worry about my physical and mental health. I am worried if I get things like cancer or something else deadly! I'm a worrier. Plus, I'd have to lodge with someone. I would lodge with a family that maybe has a dog or young children (so I'd feel safer).

My sister says I should do what I want to do, but it’s difficult with my mental health at the moment. I think if I moved away, my mum would worry about my mental health and whether I was ok or not. I can’t keep stopping myself and holding myself back. I know not many people move away for college in the UK, but I want to do something different and get my A-Levels. I know A-Levels may not matter after university, but I really want to have a range of A-Levels and not just a diploma in art and design.

Does anyone have any sons or daughters that have moved away for college (not uni)? I know some colleges have residential.

Thank you.

The obvious problem is how would you fund yourself? Rent, bills, food, and fees?

Also if you're under a MH team now, even if they're not that good, it would take time to transfer to a new team.

Maybe it would be easier to do an access course while living at home and them apply to Uni, skipping A levels altogether?

Can you self fund? You may need to take a Advanced Learning loan to cover fees. Could you do an Art Foundation course as that may be more readily accessible. Try not fret about your family, are they supportive of you generally? Do you know Hampshire, or anywhere other than Essex, well?

Hi. I'm in Hampshire (near Peter Symonds College if that is one you are looking at.) There is one poster I know whose child moved away for performing arts college so I'm going to tag her @KatyMac though I don't know if she is still on MN.

Reading your post I do worry for you and your plan. My own 17yo suffers from anxiety and I know how much support that needs. I worry that moving away you wouldn't get the emotional day to day support you need from a host family, or how you would go about finding a host family who would be willing to commit to the level of support you might need.

Also I have concerns as to whether you can actually do A levels at college at your age. The more usual route at your age would be to do an Access to Higher Education course. This may be different if you have an EHCP though, I don't know.

Would you be looking to do a full set of 3 A levels all in one go, or just one at a time? It may well be that you wouldn't need to be in college every day which might make staying at home and travelling an hour+ a better option? Alternatively staying away in the week but going home Friday evening-Monday morning might give you more stability and keep you reassured as to your Mum being OK?

Hopefully someone with more knowledge will come along. Best wishes.

Would it be possible to travel to the other Essex college, even if you stayed closer Monday to Friday, depending on contact hours. An hour is not that long and it is unlikely to be full time teaching.

Hi, the college I was looking at was the one in the New Forest, the Brockenhurst College. They do take on adults for A-Levels. It's a big dream to go there but I don't know if I could ever go there alone.

I know what you mean about the emotional side of things. If I were to move would the host family give me the emotional support I need? Probably not.

I could go to the college that's two train stops away from me, but I feel like I need to do A-Levels.

Thank you.

My DD1 who is your age went to Brockenhurst

What did your daughter study?

I'd love to go there because it seems like such a nice college! They accept adults and it's in a safe area.

Sorry, posted too soon. Anyway, from our house it took her an hour to get there by public transport. Because of where it is located (in the middle of nowhere) it might be hard to find host families as there just isn't much population, though it is a lovely area.

It's great to start looking forward
But you also need to be realistic

How will you fund yourself? You want to move in with a family? But do you see yourself being integrated with them as this seems a bit unrealistic and very specific.

Have you resolved the reasons for you dropping out before?

What is is about A levels that you feel particularly drawn to ?
They wouldn't be an obvious choice for people of your age.

The question of funding is also important. How would you get the money for this?

Does the college offer MH support or are there charities associated with your diagnosis that will be able to assist?

Yes, I know you're right. I don't think I would be able to fund myself.

I haven't resolved the reasons why I dropped out before I went to college.

I like how A-Levels are graded. I'd probably have to get an advanced learner loan.

Colleges as a whole aren't great at pastoral care. They are not as good as schools in that respect.

I don't want to be negative, but we did not have good experience with Brock and pastoral care so in your situation I'd really want to be checking what support they would have there for you.

It's great to have an aspiration. Is there an online option similar to the Open University?

Could you start with some online courses? I'm currently doing a college course for Adult Mental Health first aid. Due to covid the college have made it all online. It may be a great stepping stone