Thread 26 - Covid Cohort Hoping for a Stable, Successful 2022

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

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This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Blue, if and when Nottingham make an offer, I'm sure DS will make his choices straight away. It will do him good to have a bit less uncertainty and I think it will motivate him. (Also Notts accommodation is first come first served and opens in March )

Piccolo we had an alarm for my Mum. I don’t remember the company unfortunately . She had to have a key safe, it wasn’t successful for her as she refused to do the monthly check and wouldn’t wear the pendant.

As long as they will wear the pendant then they are great. Sorry I can’t remember which is was.

@estherfrewen my appendix grumbled for about 2 years, each time the pain was worse and lasted longer. I ended up with a burst appendix because I ignored the pain until it was so bad I couldn’t move. So be careful and tell him not to ignore the pain.
@Oblomov22 sounds like your DS has everything covered. Great offer.
DS has his mocks coming up and other DS has had his GCSE mocks, so the beginning of the hard year. I am doing dry January because I think I will be drinking more around exam time.

@Oblomov22. Congrats to your Ds for the offer, and to all others for recent offers.
@estherfrewen. I know what you mean about Cambridge. It’s even longer for the Foundation year. An online assessment, then, if she gets thru that, interviews in March, and we are sure she would love any of her other choices, one in particular, and very possibly do better there.And so much expectation on her, teachers at school giving her extra warm smiles and the wider family getting very excited, and it’s foundation!. And we have barely mentioned it. If she has to, she looks down and mumbles, and if people think she means Anglia Ruskin, we let them. At least she is in no doubt that it’s unlikely she will be offered a place.
Sympathy also for the grumbling appendix, that’s going to keep affecting him through this period and with the added worry that it could become an emergency at any time. Does anyone know any stats about grumbling appendices?How many resolve or have to be removed within a year might be helpful.

@Zebracat - yes I know what you mean re expectation. There are v few interviews from his school this year so pressure from there too.

Will definitely be keeping an eye on that appendix now he’s told me. I just wish they’d taken it out in November. He’s had mock results coming in and they are good so far (2 out of 3 back) especially as he had only just come out of hospital.

@BlueMarigold different DC should make decisions at different times. It is great that your DD has made her choices and can get on with achieving the grades, but nobody should feel under pressure to decide. DS1 took a month to decide even though he had 3 unconditional offers as a gap year applicant. The important thing is that they make decisions on their own terms without imposing nonexistent pressure for a quick decision or do accept an unconditional offer they don't really want! Unless you have a DC who would melt in the uncertainty of Clearing I would go for an aspirational offer because it would be so annoying to turn it down as unachievable and then get the grades and regret what might have been!

At some places it really is worth deciding early because it affects accommodation,(Nottingham, Liverpool, maybe Sheffield and Leicester, I am sure there will be others), but for most it makes no difference whether they choose now or on the last day they have.

@estherfrewen after our double rejection experience in spite of a stellar Admissions Test result, caution with Cambridge is very wise, particularly for a very competitive subject like Comp Sci.

I think this cohort might find it a little easier as they have not had the full on physical experience of Cambridge drawing them in - DS1 did an Engineering day, a Medicine day, a 2 day widening participation (HE+) visit, he won his HE+ competition for Bristol, was approved for a choral scholarship after audition but didn't get an offer. It was SO hard! He is, however, very happy at St Andrews and realises that he would have hates doing an essay every week!

Rejection is hard for all DC who have invested in the process and have not experienced much failure as they are all very good students.

Feeling quite cross with DS at the moment. He hasn’t emailed counsellor back after trial this week amd lost his slot, that was the 4th I tried and he did quite like him. He hasn’t signed up for Offer holders day and hasn’t decided if going to email and ask if can changes MMath offer to BSc. and hasn’t decided who else to put for final slots.

I recognise that I may snap at him which will be counterproductive so DH is dealing .

@Monkey2001 - glad your DS is really happy at St Abdrews as that sounds like a gruelling experience of Oxbridge. DS had a couple of school high starters visits to Oxford and Cambridge in years 9 and 10 but nothing since and he definitely isn't wedded to it. I think he is secretly worried about letting school down and we are secretly worried it isn't the place for him!

Thanks, Volterra. I think (hope) my DM would engage with an alert system, as she knows what the risks are of living alone and being really quite frail. This week’s fall was caused by losing her balance while trying to sit on the loo, so really concerning, given the injury it resulted in - she has to wait to see if it will need surgery to her lower eye lid.

Ds has his final business studies exam tomorrow. He got up at 4pm yesterday. Not sure whether to let him sleep all day again...I think he should be up and revising. It would be great to do well, then he can concentrate on the 2 A levels in the summer. If I wake him, I know what he's like he will shout at me and tell me he doesn't need to revise.

@icanbewhatiwant we always check with DC the night before whether they want waking or not at a specific time. Sometimes they just say if they haven't appeared before a certain time to give them a kick. If I'm up and around it really doesn't worry me - I don't think it's babying them. I'd do the same for DH!

I really hope she doesn’t Piccolo, fingers crossed for her 💐Has she had an OT assess her home and make sure she has all the aides she needs ? My Stepmum was saying last week about how we are the Sandwich Generation and how it isn’t easy.

Thank you Monkey for pointing out about Nottingham accommodation problems, and to get in early. I didn't know about that. Nottingham is joint top choice here, alongside Durham, because it's the PwC option.

@Seeline I do ask sometimes. But always get told no. I almost went to work and left him asleep the other day. I will do that after exams, I'll let him go into school and explain why he's late. He tells me off for waking him...yet often would sleep and miss school. When he first passed his test he left for school at 8.20 so he didn't get stuck behind the school buses. He has gradually got later and later. He now leaves at 8.50am so he gets more sleep. I do wonder what he will be like at university...I can see him missing all his lectures, he will sleep through them. He will go to then to start with, so he meets people, but I can see him watching them online after he's settled in.

@cariadambyth I think there unconditional offers can be counter productive! If her favourite is Southampton and second favourite RHU, I would advise her to wait until the May/June deadline and if there is even a small chance that she might get the grades, choose the ones she really wants. It is very likely that Bath will be in Clearing. You/she could email them and ask whether they have been on Clearing in recent years.

‘Counter productive’ is exactly the right phrase. We’ve just been to Starbucks and had a low key chat and decided not to worry about university until spring when we have more of a feel for where she is and when we’ve been to offer holder days. I hope it’ll take some pressure off her. I think I’ll sneakily email all of them and see what their clearing status has been recently.

That sounds a nasty fall Also. Hope she doesn't need surgery.

My MIL is 89...I keep having these conversations with DH about a personal alarm but not getting anywhere.

Thanks, Volterra and wheresthebeach.
I really do feel pulled in both directions, trying to support 2 teenage DCs while worrying about an elderly parent, exacerbated by the distance between us.

Yes, a seemingly innocuous fall onto carpet resulted in a horrible carpet burn that peeled back the skin under her bottom eye lid. Profuse bleeding and having to have the flap of skin put back in the correct place and stitched, which has resulted in a drooping lower lid which is apparently not healthy for the eye.
She has severe COPD, and can’t walk very far at the best of times. She lives in a 4 bed detached house that she’s unable to keep clean, because she hasn’t got the strength or energy to carry the hoover up the stairs, and is unable to bend down or reach up without getting very breathless.
I’m going to contact Age Concern to see what’s available for her; I live in fear of getting a phone call to say she’s been found dead at the bottom of the stairs.

@Volterra I know how exactly how you are feeling DS is also refusing to sign up for offer holder days. He says there is no point in going to them. I don't what he means by that but it feels like I am banging my head against a brick wall.

Maybe it is a boys who like Maths thing ? Please make space for me at the brick wall!

Ah we’re similar. Walking difficult due to knee problems but otherwise healthy as a horse. I fear a fall.

UCAS now complete, he just needs to send TMUA result to Cardiff when back in College.

Thanks for the heads up re Nottingham accommodation. I was aware it was March but thought 31st March so thought DD had lots of time to decide. Turns out accommodation opens on 1st March so we have just booked York visit for 27th Feb. That means before 1st March deadline we have booked in Nottingham, Sheffield, York & Sheffield Hallam.
I don't think she will go to all 4 but they are booked in for now (needs to go to Nottingham & York again to be sure as they will be firm & insurance unless she changes her mind once visited again... She can then decide and accept/reject offers Feb 28th ready for March 1st deadline.. I'm really not keen on how Nottingham have done this to get people to firm but as DD has always shown more interest there I won't try to talk her out of it :-) I still don't really know on paper which is the best uni for her to go to. I don't think there is much in it so no problem for it to be entirely up to her to decide which course and the feel (without me trying to influence her).

Out of interest if your child had to pick between Nottingham, York, Sheffield & Loughborough which do you think is best (by reputation etc) - assuming they liked the course equally and felt the same about each (DD doesn't which is why Loughborough is out of contention).

Sorry to hear about ailing parents. Unforunately both mine & DH passed away some years ago so we aren't in the same boat. It's hard when they get ill or old.

Have all the mocks finished now?

Good luck for more offers coming in next week

Good news here is that DD is currently cooking dinner!! She didn't want to wait for me to do a Sunday roast (very unusual as she loves it) so wanted to cook chicken, veg & noodles for us all. Funny thing is that she is taking just as long as I would have done to cook the roast but it's nice not to have to cook so I'm saying nothing. I have a feeling she will live off chicken and noodles in uni..

I asked Ds when his exam is tomorrow. He says he hasn't been told personally, but "everyone" says it's in the afternoon so no need to go to school in the morning. I hope they are correct. My letter just says 17th jan. No time. I can see the applied business exam on the AQA page but it just says pm. If I were Ds I would go into school in the morning anyway...but if he can sleep for longer he will. There's no point arguing with him. I will be waking him up before I go to work whether he likes it or not. Though I don't have to be in until 10am.